You Might Need Me More Than You Think You Will [A Sherlock/John Fanmix]
Full Album art, tracklisting, and download link after the cut
So this is PART ONE of the mixes I made for my lovely, suchaprince 's birthday. All the 3 were supposed to be out on her birthday. But then I got hit with a truckload of uni work... AND spent all of the past day pretty much baking for her ... so I don't feel quite as bad that only one is getting out... because of the baking... and the fact that it is now 5:30 in the morning and I'm going to have four hours of sleep if I'm lucky.
But anyway, ANYWAY, Sherlock/John is one of her biiiiig OTP's ever since we first watched Sherlock, so I've had this subtly in the works for awhile... umm... I don't think I have anything else to say about this, I'm a little sleep addled... hopefully it's good?
1. Numb - Barcelona
[John]
when I woke up, I couldn't feel my arms
they felt as if they weren't my own
I don't remember if I really slept at all
I might have been out building walls
how can I stand and hold up this great wall?
and if it falls then i might blow away
what's wrong? can;t he see how hard I've tried?
I'm numb inside
I'm done tonight
Meet poor John Watson, he is an adorable PTSD teddy bear
2. Nowhere Fast - The Smiths
[Sherlock]
And when I'm lying in my bed
I think about life
and I think about death
and neither one particularly appeals to me
and if the day came when I felt a
natural emotion
I'd get such a shock I'd probably lie
in the middle of the street and die
I'd lie down and die
Meet Sherlock Holmes, he's the most amazing, beautiful alien ever created a sociopath.
3. Brainy - The National
[John]
I've been draggin around from the end of your coat for two weeks
everywhere you go is swirlin, everything you say has water under it
You know I keep your fingerprints in a pink folder in the middle of my table
you're the tall kingdom I surround
think I better follow you around
You might need me more than you think you will
come home in the car you love, brainy brainy brainy
It is clear early on to John that even though Sherlock is brilliant, he needs someone to take care of him, to keep him in line. And John is definitely the man for the job.
4. Bullets - Tunng
[Sherlock]
Green hills and enemies
These things they make us sentimental inside
Your words are gelignite
Or just another sentimental aside
We're catching bullets in our teeth
And though it's easy when you know how it's done
They split the secret up six ways
before they gave it to us just before dawn
And now we don't remember
Our blood and guts are out
We spread our bones across the table at night
We cut our fingers off
To give ourselves those little extra insights
We're catching bullets in our teeth
And though they try hard not to say how it's done
They always do
They spill the secret out six ways
And beg for our forgiveness
Just before dawn
And now we don't remember
The Game is On
5. Glory - Radical Face
[John]
I was born when they took my name
When the world turned wicked, when I joined their game
But I turned and fought them
Like you always knew I'd do
I sat and dreamed at the foot of your bed
You split my skull and reached inside my head
And pulled out the pictures I'd been wishing I'd forget
And you stitched me up then
And wiped the blood from off my chin
Living with Sherlock Holmes is more than a bit like going mad. But there are worse things, and John barely even notices his limp these days
6. Momentum - The Hush Sound
[Sherlock]
You are the dark ocean bottom
And I am the fast sinking anchor
Should I fall for you?
Should I fall for you?
You are the scar on my tissue
That I show all of my new friends
Should I show you me?
Should I show you me?
It has generally been Sherlock's experience that when he has shared much of himself with people they have recoiled, called him a freak, there is something about John Watson that makes him think that he could take this chance again.
7. Shark's Tooth - Archie Bronson Outfit
[John]
I am an old shark's tooth
That came on way too strong
Reaching a miserable sea
What happened in between
When a tiger's tail
Struck me down somehow
We're all faded now
Reaching a miserable sea
What happened in between
Roll through this worldy war
There's too much heading around
I'd rather be with you
We start out in the sun
I just want to be with you
John has spent a fair amount of time trying to figure out what his feelings are for Sherlock, exactly. But when they are both standing in the darkened swimming pool, with the red light's from Moriarty's snipers on them, he knows that if they get out of this he is going to tell that madman exactly how he feels.
8. Elegy - Bear McCreary
[instrumental]
The explosion at the pool... and the after math
9. Goodbye, Apathy - One Republic
[Sherlock]
I don't walk right, not like I used to
There's a jump in my step as I rush to see you
I could be happy here as long as you're near to me
As long as you're close to me
Now that I'm alright (as I'm trying) I can help you
out ( just to keep things right)
I'll be what you need (I kill myself to make
everything perfect for you)
Goodbye apathy, goodbye apathy
So it takes being carried over an army doctor's shoulder from smoldering wreckage to put things in perspective for Sherlock. If nothing else, he knows that he is better for having John in his life
10. We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed - Los Campesinos!
[John]
By the light of the LED display
of a VCR recorder
You kiss my neck, I whisper in your ear,
"this is my downfall"
As you squint and you grimace,
we both know your heart's not in it
By the glow of a thousand fireflies
in a travelodge en-suite:
They think the future's bright as halogen,
we know it's pretty bleak
And I'm trying to be sexy,
biting at the air that falls in front of me.
The art of seduction has never been John's strong point. And with Sherlock's attention span it's even more of a feat
11. Methylchloroisothiazolinone - Josh Woodward
[Sherlock]
A snap, crackle, a fizzling sound
My skin itches and twitches around
Go away, go away, cuz I don't wanna feel you
My pulse races and wanders astray
This sick head, gonna burn it away
Go away, go away, go away
You make me feel so clean
You make me kick and scream
You make me, you make me
You make me feel so clean"
I lather and rinse and repeat
You leave me feeling complete
Go away, go away, cuz I don't wanna keep you
Sherlock's natural instincts are to be wary of things that are going too well too easily. There must be something wrong with this if it feels this good. After all, most of the things he's taken to in the past have been bad for him, and usually illegal.
12. Bad Romance - On the Rocks
[John]
I want your love
And I want your revenge
I want your love
I don't want to be friends
John tells Sherlock, in no uncertain terms, that he is going to get over whatever this squeamish freak out of his is, because he wants him. Consequences be damned.
13. You Are The Blood - Sufjan Stevens
[Sherlock]
You are the bood flowing through my fingers
You are the blood that I may see you
That I may see you
You are the blood in me
You are the earth on which I travel
On which I travel
You are the earth under my feet
Sherlock takes to his new relationship with John the way he's taken to other things he developed a fondness for, with a sort of addiction and obsession.
14. Beautiful Madness - Bell X1
[John]
I'll give you an opinion
'Cos I just found one
You won't agree with me out of spite
I lay siege to your fortress
But you'll never give in
No, you'll just change your mind
Your beautiful madness
My beautiful grief
Your dreams are my torture
Your dreams my relief
John may have fallen in love with Sherlock, but this doesn't change the fact that Sherlock is a complete lunatic, and there are times when John thinks that Sherlock may very well drive him insane right along with him.
15. Dance On Our Graves - Paper Route
[Sherlock]
I know the man I am is not who I should be.
The Devil take my hand says, "Child come with me."
My body shivers and aches. I can't break free.
Why do the things I hate come so naturally?
Will I know it?
Will I know it?
Will I know it when I see it?
Will I know it?
Will I know it?
Will I know it when you're here?
I need you now, I need you more than ever before, before.
I need you now, I need you more than ever before, before.
Sherlock's obsession with John has become linked with another obsession, the one to make Moriarty pay for what he did, for nearly taking John from him. No matter how much John hates seeing the way this is taking over Sherlock's life, Sherlock has decided that he won't stop until he has destroyed Jim Moriarty.
16. Foolish Games - Eden Parker
[John]
You took your coat off and stood in the rain,
You were always crazy like that
I watched from my window,
always felt I was outside looking in on you
You were always the mysterious one
with dark eyes and careless hair,
You were fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care
Then you stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
besides some comment on the weather
Well in case you failed to notice,
In case you failed to see,
This is my heart bleeding before you,
This is me down on my knees
These foolish games are tearing me apart
You thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart
It's not that John didn't know what he was getting into, he always knew Sherlock had a tendency towards addiction, he'd seen the track marks on the man's arms to prove it. But he isn't sure how long he can stand watching Sherlock be consumed by this obsession before it's too much for him.
17. Liar - Raine Maida
[Sherlock]
There's no where left to hide
There's no where left to run
And it's all gone
It's all gone
And I, I'm a liar just like you and that's OK
And I, I'm guilty just like everyone today
And I, I'm a liar just like you and that's OK
And I, I'm guilty, just like everyone
Sherlock tells John that he's figured out where Jim is and that he's going after him, to end this once and for all. John, of course, thinks that this is a terrible idea, and tells him that he needs to give up this revenge business. Sherlock all but blows up at him before storming off into the night.
18. I Don't Want To Get Over You - The Magnetic Fields
[John]
Cause I don't want to get over love
I could listen to my therapist,
Pretend you don't exist
And not have to dream of what I dream of;
I could listen to all my friends
And go out again
And pretend it's enough,
Or I could make a career of being blue
I could dress in black and read Camus,
Smoke clove cigarettes and drink vermouth
Like I was 17
That would be a scream
But I don't want to get over you
For over a week after the fight John doesn't hear a word from Sherlock. Of course, he fears the worst, Jim Moriarty is, after all, a criminal genius. But Sherlock is a genius too ... and despite everything John holds out hope that he will open the door and the lanky madman will be standing there.
19. I love you (In with the Arms) - Loney, Dear
[Sherlock]
Where does it go?
When does it sleep again?
Off with the devils
Off with the devils
Keeping me calm
Keeping me calm, like you do
I love you
I love you
Keeping me calm
In with the trees
Rushing like blood to my lips
Come over, dance with me
Come on over, dance with me
Exactly One week, three days, six hours, and twenty seven minutes later Sherlock comes loping home. He doesn't tell John about what happened, all he does is crawl into bed and curl himself around the other man whispering "I missed you" in his hair. And it's enough.
20. My Life Would Suck Without You - Bradley Akeman
[John]
Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for trying to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Anyway I found out I'm nothing without you
'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me and honestly
My life would suck without you
John knows that life with Sherlock is never going to be normal, or storybook, or anything of the kind. There will always be fights, and madness, and vegetable crispers with human body parts in them. But he wouldn't want it any other way.
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enjoy y'all, Mama's goin' to bed.