Some things just don't let go
Four years ago, I was waiting for the release of the seventh and final Harry Potter book. I'd started reading the series just before the fourth book came out and was a loyal follower by chapter five of Philosopher's Stone. Like so many others, I was caught up in Rowling's colorful wizard world of escapism. Unlike most of those others, I became disillusioned by the fifth and sixth books, both of which made a sharp turn away from the plot twist and foreshadowing-heavy mysteries that featured in the first four books that I so adored.
Even so, I wanted to see it through to the end. I'd spent hours upon hours putting together theories on how the series could end. I solved Snape's potion challenge from the first book and tried to find foreshadowing for the rest of the series from the order and contents of the bottles, for crying out loud. I was a firm believer in my sister's theory that Lily's blood protection would kill Voldemort. (If not that, then hopefully a machine gun.) I had to know what would happen, what all that foreshadowing was building up to.
About a week from release, something big happened: a copy of Deathly Hallows leaked onto the Internet.
Of course, that happened with every Harry Potter book just before release. Multiple "leaked" copies would surface to be scrutinized by the desperate fans in hopes maybe it wasn't a joke, that it was the real thing and the wait was over, but this one was different. Dubbed Carpet Book for the rather noticeable carpet behind the book, this leaked copy looked like it might have been the Real Deal. The details of the cover, the inside flaps, and the photo quality was just such that no one could truly decide if it was real or not, but it was close enough... and it went viral.
It wasn't the cover that really made people question Carpet Book's legitimacy (the cover looked so very much like it might be real, or a very good prank), but its contents. Some liked it, but a large portion of the Internet cried out in retaliation that "This can't be real! It's too awful to be the real thing!" There was an entire LJ community dedicated to such an effect, titled Its-A-Fake.
I didn't read it, but I heard the spoilers. Snape was in love with Lily Potter. Lupin was killed off-page. Albus Severus Potter. It was too dumb. It was too cliche. It was too predictable. Everyone had guessed Harry was a horcrux and everyone had guessed RAB was Regulus Black. Rowling was far too clever with her plot twists for us to figure them out before the book was even out. Clearly, this was the work of an uncreative fanfic writer who wanted a laugh out of all the gullible Potter fans.
We had a copy of the real thing pre-ordered from Barnes & Noble and I had every intention of going to the Midnight Launch party with my sister, but a sliver of doubt made us hesitate. "What if it was real?" What if Rowling had betrayed us? What if she'd phoned it in? What if no editor had taken Carpet Book's infamous epilogue and ripped it into tiny shreds before throwing it in a fire?
On the day of release, hours before midnight in the US, Rowling had a reading of chapter one in the UK. We had no way of hearing it, no way to compare her reading to Carpet Book, but the Internet did. Its-A-Fake did.
At around seven that evening, my sister turned from the computer. "It's real."
We didn't go to Barnes & Noble that night.
--
Tonight the final movie comes out. Tonight the Harry Potter franchise reaches its end in Hollywood (though heaven knows they'll find another way to milk it). And all I can think is "Dear god, let this be the last I hear of Harry James Potter."
But it won't be, because all I'm going to hear on Facebook, LiveJournal, deviantART, Twitter, and in real life for the next month is "omg, have you seen Deathly Hallows yet?" Let me save everyone some time: No. I have not. And I never will. I do not care about it and I do not want to talk about it. I don't care how good it was. I couldn't even stomach the book.
I don't want to be reminded that book ever even existed -- that book that killed Remus just because it could, that book that let Harry monologue to Voldemort for six pages, that book that can't even get its own damn morals straight. That book that ends " All was well."
I really don't need an excuse or opportunity to vent about the flaws of Harry Potter. I did that enough four years ago. Don't ask me if I've seen that movie.
Even so, I wanted to see it through to the end. I'd spent hours upon hours putting together theories on how the series could end. I solved Snape's potion challenge from the first book and tried to find foreshadowing for the rest of the series from the order and contents of the bottles, for crying out loud. I was a firm believer in my sister's theory that Lily's blood protection would kill Voldemort. (If not that, then hopefully a machine gun.) I had to know what would happen, what all that foreshadowing was building up to.
About a week from release, something big happened: a copy of Deathly Hallows leaked onto the Internet.
Of course, that happened with every Harry Potter book just before release. Multiple "leaked" copies would surface to be scrutinized by the desperate fans in hopes maybe it wasn't a joke, that it was the real thing and the wait was over, but this one was different. Dubbed Carpet Book for the rather noticeable carpet behind the book, this leaked copy looked like it might have been the Real Deal. The details of the cover, the inside flaps, and the photo quality was just such that no one could truly decide if it was real or not, but it was close enough... and it went viral.
It wasn't the cover that really made people question Carpet Book's legitimacy (the cover looked so very much like it might be real, or a very good prank), but its contents. Some liked it, but a large portion of the Internet cried out in retaliation that "This can't be real! It's too awful to be the real thing!" There was an entire LJ community dedicated to such an effect, titled Its-A-Fake.
I didn't read it, but I heard the spoilers. Snape was in love with Lily Potter. Lupin was killed off-page. Albus Severus Potter. It was too dumb. It was too cliche. It was too predictable. Everyone had guessed Harry was a horcrux and everyone had guessed RAB was Regulus Black. Rowling was far too clever with her plot twists for us to figure them out before the book was even out. Clearly, this was the work of an uncreative fanfic writer who wanted a laugh out of all the gullible Potter fans.
We had a copy of the real thing pre-ordered from Barnes & Noble and I had every intention of going to the Midnight Launch party with my sister, but a sliver of doubt made us hesitate. "What if it was real?" What if Rowling had betrayed us? What if she'd phoned it in? What if no editor had taken Carpet Book's infamous epilogue and ripped it into tiny shreds before throwing it in a fire?
On the day of release, hours before midnight in the US, Rowling had a reading of chapter one in the UK. We had no way of hearing it, no way to compare her reading to Carpet Book, but the Internet did. Its-A-Fake did.
At around seven that evening, my sister turned from the computer. "It's real."
We didn't go to Barnes & Noble that night.
--
Tonight the final movie comes out. Tonight the Harry Potter franchise reaches its end in Hollywood (though heaven knows they'll find another way to milk it). And all I can think is "Dear god, let this be the last I hear of Harry James Potter."
But it won't be, because all I'm going to hear on Facebook, LiveJournal, deviantART, Twitter, and in real life for the next month is "omg, have you seen Deathly Hallows yet?" Let me save everyone some time: No. I have not. And I never will. I do not care about it and I do not want to talk about it. I don't care how good it was. I couldn't even stomach the book.
I don't want to be reminded that book ever even existed -- that book that killed Remus just because it could, that book that let Harry monologue to Voldemort for six pages, that book that can't even get its own damn morals straight. That book that ends " All was well."
I really don't need an excuse or opportunity to vent about the flaws of Harry Potter. I did that enough four years ago. Don't ask me if I've seen that movie.