Finally...without my comp freezing this time...
ok...this would be the 5th time i tried to update my journal...if it freezes again, oh well...its amazing actually...i havent been pissed that after i write the thing ive been meaning to write (which is pretty long), then my comp suddenly decides...hmmmm lets freeze up so Renel has to do this over and over again...and when it does that, i might feel a lil disappointed that i have to do it over again, but amazingly not mad because of it. Anyways, let me get to the point, here is wat i had in mind last night, even more so right now:
at times, i wonder why some people look up to me, when its usually me who looks up to them. Im not that great of a person u know, i might be smart sometimes, but lately, ive been doing stupid things which is reflecting upon my grades...im not that great with advice either...well i might be able to make something up, but thats usually when i think about it over time, or its a topic that relates to me easily. Dont ask too much of me. I can promise alot of things, but know that i wont be able to fulfill them all the time. Anyways, im gonna focus on school more. Maybe till school ends, maybe till the end of my senior year. If i seem unfriendly or sort of ignoring sometimes, ull know the reason why. Someone asked me who is the real me, how i see my self as...im still trying to look for him and i dont know him pretty much myself. Well let me rephrase that, i might know who is the real me, and i can actually see myself, but idk how to explain it. I think its better to either ask my best friend Tim, or my sister, Kayla, about it cause they're the ones who knows me best and for the longest, the ones i tell most, if not all of my secrets and thoughts. Well im gonna go...gonna cook some breaded shrip for lunch...cant wait to let my sis try them...they're so good...anyways, yeah...till the next update or something.
PS: me and my friend, Steven, has been working on this forum, improving upon the one i had. Last night, we finished it and yeah, we want some members, if not just some ppl to check it out: <(><)>'s Forum... if ur planning to become a member, or to join and post some stuff, just remember to read the rules first...me and Steven dont really want our forum to be closed down.