NO MORE MEDS, NO MORE SCHOOL, NO MORE BULL
I told my parents today that I stopped taking all of my medication. They were surprisingly unfreaked out by it and almost supportive. I want my life back. I haven't fainted in three months and I stopped taking the meds 2 and a half months ago. I feel like I've been on them for so long that I think they were fucking with me more than helping me. All of my serious fainting spells, or series of fainting spells were caused due to changes in my medication. I told the doctor this and he was very against it. My other doctor was thrilled because she said that now they could medicate me for ADD. I don't want anymore fucking medication ever. Besides, I don't think I really have ADD. I think I was spaced out and freaky and tired all of the time because of the medication.
Also... I can feel feelings again. This is hard, but I think it's healthier in the long run. Now at least when I'm crying I know why I'm crying and when I'm laughing it's for real.
So college is over. I have a few regrets. The first being that I didn't get "him" out of my life sooner. Thank God that chapter of my life is closed. I'm sure I'll be trying to make sense of it for a long while yet. The second is that I didn't realize I should have quit the meds sooner.
I've made so many friends over the years....some real, some fake, some really fake. But mostly wonderful people. And I'm not going to worry about the people in my past. There's a reason they didn't make it to my future as the saying goes. I've learned that people really can't love you until you love yourself and that the first step of loving yourself is knowing who you are. And for the first time I really have a grasp on who I am and I'm proud to say I'm the kind of person I want to be.
I'm moving to Philadelphia with Felicia. I'm so excited and soooo scared. I've never had to try and make it on my own ever. I need a job... obviously. But you know what? Whether I make it or not I can be proud of the fact that I tried.
YAY PHILLY!
Also... I can feel feelings again. This is hard, but I think it's healthier in the long run. Now at least when I'm crying I know why I'm crying and when I'm laughing it's for real.
So college is over. I have a few regrets. The first being that I didn't get "him" out of my life sooner. Thank God that chapter of my life is closed. I'm sure I'll be trying to make sense of it for a long while yet. The second is that I didn't realize I should have quit the meds sooner.
I've made so many friends over the years....some real, some fake, some really fake. But mostly wonderful people. And I'm not going to worry about the people in my past. There's a reason they didn't make it to my future as the saying goes. I've learned that people really can't love you until you love yourself and that the first step of loving yourself is knowing who you are. And for the first time I really have a grasp on who I am and I'm proud to say I'm the kind of person I want to be.
I'm moving to Philadelphia with Felicia. I'm so excited and soooo scared. I've never had to try and make it on my own ever. I need a job... obviously. But you know what? Whether I make it or not I can be proud of the fact that I tried.
YAY PHILLY!