Goodbye To You
Yesterday I had the best day in such a long time. My mom ended up letting me skip school to go to Boston for the Patriots parade. First it was going to be Danielle, Zach and me but then it was Sarah Zach and me. We ended up going to Curry on monday night to get her. We made a kick ass old school CD and loaded up on red-bull. We were fucking wired. Sarah came and slept here. We chilled and watched tv, "danced", and finally fell asleep. We ended up getting up at 5am and got the 7 train. Got into city and got spot in line early. Had right up front. We had the best time just waiting because people were flashing their tits, being arrested, chanting, it was fun. The parade eventually came but ended too soon. After the parade we walked and ate at Fire and Ice. It was good but busy. Ended up walking to the Prude and looking for Red Sox bracelets. Ended up eating every possible thing that is Delicious brand and then finally made it to the train for the 5 train home. We brought Sarah back and ended up chilling at Curry for a while. I got to meet a lot of her friends. We ended up chilling in her dorm and having this cider beer which was fucking good. Wandered over to her neighbors dorm, listened to shitty music, and chilled. It was still really fucking awesome. Zach and I loved the damn college life. Thursdays Thirsty Thursday and Friday is drunken night. Prob staying up there this weekend which would be sick. The beer and weed are unlimited.
Today was a pretty un-eventful day. After school sucked though. I ended up talking to Phylicia and telling her how I have been pissed at her and all the things that had bothering me. To make this very short at the end of the conversation she said this was the end of our friendship and I said I didnt think that, I just had to let her know how I had been feeling. Well she said it was over and she didn't want to drag it out anymore. She said I was a burden to hang out with and now she has more time with her other friends. To be quite honest, I am truly okay. I thought that if we ever stopped being friends I would be hurt, but it is actually a relief because I feel I have been treated like shit for far too long and it really felt good to let it go and not feel guilt. I feel/know I have tried and tried hard to keep this a float but dont think it was done back. I think a lot was missing and a lot was unwanted. But I am truly happy now. I really feel no hurt or guilt. I just am glad I finally got to say what I needed to say and move on, happily, not hurt at all. Which may seem weird but Im not. I am never going to forget the friend I had from the beginning, the one I loved and the one I lost my virginity to. Their memories I will have forever. It is time to move on now I guess and I am doing that. I will stay strong and be happy. I have my friends as well as my best friends. Their there for me and I know they'll help. But today just made such sense and I just think its time to stop forcing something that wont work.
goodbye to you. goodbye to everything that i knew. you were the one i loved, the one thing that...but Im not giving in this time
Today was a pretty un-eventful day. After school sucked though. I ended up talking to Phylicia and telling her how I have been pissed at her and all the things that had bothering me. To make this very short at the end of the conversation she said this was the end of our friendship and I said I didnt think that, I just had to let her know how I had been feeling. Well she said it was over and she didn't want to drag it out anymore. She said I was a burden to hang out with and now she has more time with her other friends. To be quite honest, I am truly okay. I thought that if we ever stopped being friends I would be hurt, but it is actually a relief because I feel I have been treated like shit for far too long and it really felt good to let it go and not feel guilt. I feel/know I have tried and tried hard to keep this a float but dont think it was done back. I think a lot was missing and a lot was unwanted. But I am truly happy now. I really feel no hurt or guilt. I just am glad I finally got to say what I needed to say and move on, happily, not hurt at all. Which may seem weird but Im not. I am never going to forget the friend I had from the beginning, the one I loved and the one I lost my virginity to. Their memories I will have forever. It is time to move on now I guess and I am doing that. I will stay strong and be happy. I have my friends as well as my best friends. Their there for me and I know they'll help. But today just made such sense and I just think its time to stop forcing something that wont work.
goodbye to you. goodbye to everything that i knew. you were the one i loved, the one thing that...but Im not giving in this time