(no subject)
So I'm at a Starbucks posting on the app again. I think this is the only time now where I post.
I'm also in Canada & we won the gold medal in hockey which was insanely big over here. Anyway I'm here writing this surrounded by people on their devices, dates or socializing in groups. Mostly I'm guessing they are university students @ Brock.
But I am having one of those existential crisis moments. I so wish at this point I had a girlfriend or something. I have to capitulate that I am lonely & somewhat horny.
At the same time I utterly suck at dating or even getting close to finding someone that will tolerate me in a conversation. The friend zone even seems appealing at this point as I wouldn't really care if I got any. Although I finally obtained the wisdom that it is better to be alone than force something with someone just because they find me tolerable. Could I get laid by some desperate person? Most likely, but I know deep down that I won't be happy.
I live in a desert far away from any potential fish in the sea. I also have taken now almost a decade in recovery from being "broken" by a psycho bitch or So I am theorizing (nothing professionally certified.) There is a very rare finite amount of women who may be attracted to be & or put up with my shit. One out of two does not qualify as I am sure I could manage to bs a nerdy gamer mostly functional twilight cosplay to Fuck me & hang out (again long term I won't be happy.) Tragically I am too nice of a guy to land a normal physically attractive woman. They throw in the towel after I breakdown into my neediness thing eventually.
In a perfect world I'd marry a smart Canadian woman. But I would have to quit my secure Job & move out of my parents place. Yea see the problem here? At least I drive a luxury car & don't live in the basement!
But yea I almost cried this weekend about it
What can I do to change it? I need Anthony Robbins or a life coach.