(no subject)
I have this urge to write something profound and meaningful, yet it's not gonna happen.
So many wonderful things have happened over the past week that to recount them all would be impossible. But the larger picture of being able to do things before going off to school and starting over again is more comprehendible. As awkward as it was at times - realizing that I have missed out on people lives, people that mean so much to me; driving around Alpharetta and just coming to grips with growing up; not knowing what to say and how to act - everything was awesome. And just being around and hanging out opened my mind to so many thoughts and memories. To the brighter side? As corny as it sounds. I was so depressed for the longest time...especially with feeling that I totally lost touch with Sarah and that our friendship would never regrow...that I lost track of everything else. And while we were sitting outside starbucks I really wanted to go on telling you guys how sorry I am and always will be for not being a more active part of your lives...as strange as it sounds I can't believe how much we've all grown up and how we're all still the same in so many ways.
There were so many times on the trip that I wanted to break down and cry. To stop in my tracks, curl up on the ground and just stop and cry. I was jealous and happy and mad and regretful and every emotion just blended into one.
Yet somehow it was beautiful.
And I'm even sitting here now thinking about it all.
At the same time I was having revelations about Gbury and just life in general. I really didn't take enough pictures in high school...I think somehow I wanted my life of pictures to stay in 8th grade and other times that I was down in GA. I never fully moved on and allowed myself to see everything going on here. And I regret it. Oddly enough though, it's a happy regret. Memories are all that matters...
That is probably the theme of moving on. It is. I am going to love going to school, yet at the same time I'm gonna hate leaving some people.
But living life is a lesson learned...so new leaf, new lesson, new canvas to start from.
On a totally different note...Savannah was different. Having family vacations again are worth it. Through all the craziness and clashing of personalities I fell in love with being with my whole family again. And sitting by the river and having meaningful conversations with my brother was much needed.
This whole trip was much needed.
I'm so thankful for everyone and everything. Reflecting on life does that to you, or at least it does it for me.
Thank yall so much.
Thank you.