harmony
So, forgive me for the random thoughts and unrecognizable sentences…
Talking about sitting down and writing...like Miles Davis and his crazy book...and just letting go of some ideas got me thinking. I used to sit down and write down my thoughts years ago...when I was that crazy girl with so much anger and angst. Lord. Mydiary.com? I think? Do you remember that Sarah? Oh lord. And I thought I knew myself then...and I had such a solid grasp on fully being comfortable with myself, with life, with everything. But, growing up just shows that no one is ever fully aware of who/what they are. We are constantly maturing, discovering, living, and loving - it's corny and so beautiful.
Last night was fun. The company was great...the randomness was worth it...but then on op of all of that I had the most wonderful feeling when I went to sleep last night. Everything was at peace. Just sitting and talking...then home to a loving house and a wonderful conversation with Phil, it was flawless.
And so have the last four years, perfect. Rethinking all of it, I just come to realize that growth is something to admire and aspire to. I love where I'm at right now and everything and everyone around me.
And in a month everything with be different.
But worth it.
Going down to Greenwich with my mother and my "aunt" was full of memories and goofy smiles. Knowing I can go back and look at my childhood gave me the greatest high, and saying it was the greatest ever would be a lie...but it's up there in rank. Sights, smells, sounds...I'm starting to sound cheesy and pathetic and redundant...but it was beautiful.
The rest of this summer is going to be about reconnecting with my memories and refreshing them...so that way I can be more whole and ready to pursue more. If that makes any sense?
I just hope that everyone comprehends how fucked up things are...but how there is harmony in this world. The craziest things can happen, yet in the end it may all end up to fit and be sane.
Solace has to be my favorite word...besides surreal, of course. :)
And I'm freaking out about my life, what it'll be like in a month...but I just can't help but think that this is going to be incredible.