May 05, 2014 12:02
When I want to do favors unasked, like someone's dishes, or mopping the floor or scrubbing the tub or spackleing and touching up a wall it's some mixture of wanting to be liked and appreciated, and purely wanting to take care of the items I'm fixing (for the sake of the item or for the sake of my wanting to use it).
I wonder what the percentage is of either. I wonder how much of my self worth I put into being helpful; having people want me around because I'm helpful. I wonder how comparable it is to others' self worth that is based on competency within jobs and careers.
I'm trying to not judge here, rather than just musing. It's not bad to be helpful. I enjoy it and others enjoy it, and I place a lot of value on bringing joy to myself and others. And to maximize that joy, it is useful to analyze my motivations; I'd like to make sure there is no self sabotaging or negativity nestled way back there. I suspect that there is; it'd be rather amazing otherwise. Even Buddhist monks have struggle with perspective on their own intrinsic worth sometimes.
Every person is equally worthy of life and happiness. Really. And most find that hard to believe for. Various understandable reasons. No matter how bad you think you or someone else is, the more any one person really believes this, the easier it is to believe. Murder doesn't make sense, verbal abuse doesn't make sense, etc, if you believe this.
i'll tag this later