A geek's guide to Star Wars. Episode II.
Episode IV-A New Hope
1. Call me an idiot, but the older guy on the Blockade Runner who looks up at the ceiling and then points his gun at the door; I was SURE this guy was going to be a major character. My dreams were dashed about 8 seconds later. Oh well...0-for-1.
2. Apparently Stormtroopers ARE precise. The blow through a dozen Rebel Fleet Troopers in about 10 seconds...I guess they were "feeling it" that day. Shortly thereafter, they fall into a 3-movie slump.
3. I like how the unconscious/dead Captain Antilles manages, despite his comatose state, to get his arms out in front of him before slamming into the wall. By the way, was this guy Wedge's father? Too bad he never saw his son blow up two Death Stars and dance with Ewoks...ok, just the Death Stars. He really missed that.
4. The stun-effect on blasters was something I really wanted to see more of. Leia's up and walking a mere minute later, though...quite the effect. Nevermind, stun-weapons aren't cool anymore.
5. By all accounts (after seeing Vader's track record in Empire and Jedi), the guy who has the gall to say "she'll die before she tells you anything" should've fallen into a crumpled, dead pile of meat on the floor. I guess Vader was in a good mood, or just forgot this guy wanted to perish.
6. The escape pod's crater seems a wee bit small for a huge piece of steel with an engine that fell from space into a sand dune. Maybe it's me...
7. I bet, more often than not, a drunk Jawa stumbled under that droid-sucking tube and met his fate.
8. After Owen tells 3PO to shut up, it's funny that 3PO responds "shut up, sir?". This may very well be the most underrated line in all the films.
9. It's not too far-fetched to assume Luke brought many-a-girl back to that oil bath. Oooh baby.
10. Luke gets royally offended when R2 stops playing the message. This boy's got a real temper...either that or he's a damn infant. My money's on the latter.
11. Hey, I've seen this dinner table before! Wait a second, is HIS last name Lars? I love revisting...it's good for everyone.
12. I hope Luke gave Aunt Beru a lot of credit for her hair...after all, he rocks the same look in Jedi.
13. Luke's changing of gears with the "I think those droids are gonna work out fine"-speech, parlaying it into going to the Academy...this is a good move. I've used this move. Luke's cool again.
14. The Tusken Raiders running at top speed to jump on the slowest creatures ever conceived always struck a chord with me.
15. 3PO obviously has a huge impact on Luke, y'know, since R2 has to REMIND Luke not to forget him.
16. Hey 3PO feels no pain, sans an appendage, I bet this NEVER comes up again.
17. Before Luke turns off the lightsaber, Obi-Wan is totally spacing out; watch his face. It's CINEMAGIC, FOLKS!
18. The Star Destroyers really haul ass in this film, compared to the others. And I am without a joke.
19. I guess being a Grand Moff in the Imperial Navy gives you unlimited power in the galaxy, but leaves one unable to afford something as simple as dental braces for the lower teeth. Eeeewww, come on, Tark.
20. Whatever the Stormtroopers did to Owen and Beru pretty much guarantees the same result as a single blaster bolt to the face...but I guess they really wanted to send a message.
21. I think the coin that Han flips to the barkeep probably was blank and had the word RECOGNIZE emblazoned on it, and he just gives it to all owners of establishments where he commits homicide. "Hey this isn't even real money!"
22. You just have to cheer when Boba Fett walks through Docking Bay 94. Either that or your pants fill with urine. I don't cheer often, people.
23. Get familiar with the guys turning on the Superlaser, memorize their faces. You'll be seeing them, in the exact same rooms, poses and motions again, and again.
24. Tarkin really doesn't have much tolerance for liars. Leia lies--KILL HER. But Moff Tarkin, she could be valuable--KILL HER. I WANT HER DEAD. Sheesh.
25. I wonder if Obi-Wan had this Jedi training remote with him at all times. Does he bust it out at parties? "Beat the remote, GET A KISS!"
26. Nobody cares one iota about what Luke has to say in the Falcon cockpit once they enter the Alderran system. Everything he says is disregarded; it's good that way. "Maybe they know what happened..." "Let's blow 'em up!" "They must've gotten lost..." "I'm going to blow him up." Luke's uncool again.
27. When Luke gets out of the smuggling compartment, he shoots some wide-eyed adoration at Han...such a sweet kid.
28. "Boy, you said it, Chewie." What could've been said there by Chewie? Obi-Wan walks out...Chewie growls. It has to be something like "what a crazy old bastard". That's what it NEEDS to be, at least.
29. Luke certainly knows a lot about a Princess whom he's never met from a distant planet he's never been to. OBSESS MUCH?
30. Luke's troubles with monsters (here, with the Dianoga) are just beginning. Hang in there, buddy.
31. I like the fact that the Stormtroopers are just regular guys. "You see that new BT-16?" "Yeah, some of the other guys were telling me about it, they say it's...quite a thing to see." Too bad a good million of 'em are incinerated in a split second (See: Death Star I).
32. As Han and Chewie run towards the blast door, the Stormtroopers are a mere 12 feet behind them and could EASILY pop a hot one in the backs of their skulls, but they wait until Han turns and shoots to even ATTEMPT a shot, and they still miss...they're just regular guys.
33. When they escape the Death Star and Chewie basically has a one-man conversation in the Falcon cockpit for a good 10 seconds, my life makes sense.
34. Three TIE's explode into smoke and sparks, but not the last one. The last one is vaporized in a huge fiery explosion 3 times over. Beautiful.
35. Luke's "I care..." is straight out of my life. Except, well, I don't gaze lovingly at the dashboard dreaming about bumping uglies with my sister. Not anymore, at least.
36. I was hoping to see the "That's impossible, even for a computer!"-guy witness Luke pull off "the impossible", THEN get blown up. But, no such luck.
37. I wonder if Tarkin and Vader remained in the same position frm the "this had better work" scene until the "end of the Rebellion" scene. That's determination, standing still like that, staring at a screen that is moving incredibly slowly.
38. Even though I like Biggs, "they'll never stop us" always evokes a laugh and a response of "well, maybe one of us." Good times.
39. Turns out Porkins wasn't "all right". We'll miss you, JP. And it seems to me, you lived your life like a candle in the wind.
40. Tarkin is STILL standing in the same place staring as Yavin comes into range. This guy's dedicated...he wants the high score.
41. "I can't hold 'em!" I don't know what that means, but he can't do it, apparently. Everytime I try to "hold 'em" for another guy, I get punched. WHAT GIVES?
42. It must be comforting for Biggs's family to know that his last words were "Wait! WAIT!!" I know that's what I want on MY tombstone. Boy oh boy, it's gonna be a quiet Christmas on the Darklighter Ranch.
43. "Luke, you switched off your targeting computer. What's wrong?" "Nothing, I'm all right." Then turn the thing back on, you DIP.
44. It always makes me laugh when R2 gets shot, and Luke says "I've lost R2" and Leia just doesn't care at all, and 3PO looks terribly frightened...even with a metal face.
45. Vader has locked on Luke, utters a little catchphrase, fires a good 10 times and doesn't kill him. Obi-Wan's spirit should've descended and said "Chosen One, my ass."
46. I want to get to know the pilot of the one Y-Wing that survived. Seems like a dynomite individual--whoever the hell he is...
47. When Luke hops out of his X-Wing, C3PO running in the background (or attempting to) makes this movie go from Great to Greater. Especially when Leia blows by him. You got burned by a GIRL.
48. General Dodonna certainly blinks a lot as he hands Han's medal to Leia. What's going on THERE?
49. If you had told me the last two minutes of this movie were without dialogue, I probably wouldn't have sit through it. BUT BOY AM I GLAD I DID.
Episode V-The Empire Strikes Back
1. When I first watched this movie, I was CONVINCED Luke, Han, Leia or Chewie was going to die. So, I guess I was disappointed they all lived...wow, I'm a jerk.
2. You really have to feel for the Probe Droid that was assigned to Hoth. First off, the planet sucks, and then he finds the generator (and the Rebels), but, even with sufficient photographical evidence, can't convince Admiral Ozzel that it's the spot, THEN he gets blasted. Great couple of days for him.
3. You would think a Wampa would be fairly audible in the middle of a desolate, snowy plain. BEHIND YOU, LUKE!
4. I like how you can see Han deliberating when/how he's going to tell the Alliance General that he has to leave, and just decides on taking the meteorite conversation into a totally different direction and just comes out with it: "General, I can't stay." NICE. Real subtle.
5. Ladies and gentlemen, the race is on. Who can make the most mistakes in a single film? Chewbacca or Luke? Chewie grabs an early lead as he takes apart the Falcon right as Han is trying to leave. Luke counters by killing the Wampa and then fleeing the safety of the blizzard-free cave. He follows that up by neglecting to put on his facial coverings, which leads to him passing out in GRAND fashion. Luke's up 2 to 1.
6. Luke's luck with monsters rolls on. Show me WAMPA! *Ding Ding Ding*
7. If the odds of surviving on Hoth are 725 to 1, and both Han and Luke survive, I'd hate to be any of the next 1450 guys who get stranded out there. Man, they're gone before even having a chance.
8. Luke in diaper marks the first appearance of a nipple in the saga. Fasten your seat belts, folks, there's more to come...not in this movie, though. THE ONLY FLAW IN THIS PICTURE, I may add.
9. The guy who shoots down Han's "it could be a speeder, one of ours" suggestion with that cold "No." deserved to be kicked in the face, have his legs broken and then be thrown from a train. "You don't speak to me that way...CHEWIE!" Then Chewie ends his tenure as a Rebel technician.
10. Why would ANYONE disagree with Vader? If he says "the Rebels are there!", you just agree. Worst case scenario: he's wrong, you still have a fully functioning larynx. Conversely, you disagree and you will not be forgiven on the big screen...it's nice how Piett gets a rank promotion in two sentences. REAL HOT.
11. I cheer the fact that Walter Donovan (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade) delivers Ozzel's eventual death knell. I KNEW that guy was evil when he first met Indy...he served in the Galactic Empire!
12. Chewie pulled even with Luke in the Race for Mistakes when he almost electrocutes/blows up Han while repairing the Falcon. It's all knotted at two apiece.
13. I earnestly believed Dak was "the next big thing" for the Alliance. What spirit, what determination. Now...he's nothing. He needs his own E! True Hollywood Story.
14. Donovan's back! And he's cruising in the lead AT-AT! He chose...wisely.
15. Wedge really solidifies his position as a great man in the Battle of Hoth. In case you weren't totally sure of the exact time and place of his transformation from "regular pilot" to "beast of a man".
16. Apparently "that armor's too strong for blasters" unless the walker falls down. Someone help me wrap my brain around THIS logic.
17. Chewie takes the lead with mistake #3. "No! This one goes here, that one goes there, right?" You hairy, 7-foot bastard.
18. I always thought Luke was trying to save Dak...nope, turns out he just wanted that grappling gun-thing. Well, no use in carrying a dead Rebel all around Hoth.
19. I love how the guy Leia commands to "give the evacuation code" has a cold. Watch him cough. FUN. It's so real. I, for one, can relate.
20. Before the Imperials destroy the generator, that one Snowspeeder beefs it HARD.
21. For some reason, KKK members are taking orders from a black guy...oh! It's Snowtroopers and Darth Vader! Carry on.
22. Lovely how Luke's X-Wing escapes from Hoth, through the Imperial blockade undetected, but the Falcon catches the eye of three Star Destroyers and a handful of TIE's. But hey, Han got to finally show us those manuevers he told us so much about.
23. Hey, Luke never told anyone he was going to Dagobah. Did everyone assumed he was killed while fleeing the base? That one guy says "see ya at the rendezvous", then Luke never shows up. Yeah, way to go Son of Skywalker. REAL considerate.
24. Luke: 3, Chewie: 3. That beautiful X-Wing landing evens the score. Sure, I mean, it's foggy and visibility is low, but, why fly towards the surface at 900 mph? EASY DOES IT, Luke.
25. If 3PO can "plug into the hyperdrive", I don't want to entertain the idea of where his little thing pops up and goes in.
26. Luke really sounds like an annoyed Dad with his "hey, get outta there...you could've broken this...don't do that...aw, you're making a mess..."
27. Good Lord, Yoda really lost it in the last 20 years on Dagobah. He's INSANE.
28. "Scoouundrel?" This scene makes babies smile.
29. I like how, when that bridge of the Star Destroyer is destroyed and we see that holoprojected image of an Admiral fizzle out and die. That's funny...because it's real.
30. How on Earth (or Dagobah) did Luke fit through Yoda's door? And why couldn't R2 come inside? What's the big idea? Is it that Luke and Yoda "R2" good enough for him? (Sorry, I had to say it.)
31. Luke is apparently "reckless" at age 20, and so was Obi-Wan, "if you'll remember", yet, we see Obi-Wan at around age 20, and he's model-Jedi. So, was Obi-Wan's recklessness at age 8 or what? Too many Cheez Nips before dinner? RECKLESS IS HE.
32. Chewie regains the Mistake-Crown with the shooting of "the cave" (offscreen) and waking up the slug. Way to go, almost ruined the best thing going you FOOL.
33. When Luke "clears his mind of questions", I'm pretty sure it's Yoda making the noises, but it's funny to think it's coming from Luke. And if it IS coming from Luke, it's STILL funny.
34. "Your weapons...you will not need them." GOOD CALL YODA. I COULD'VE BEEN KILLED.
35. Luke's "failure at the cave" marks the first beheading in this saga (wait till the Prequels). Give respect where respect is due, kids. Even if it wasn't even a real head being sliced off.
36. If I was one of those bounty hunters and an officer showed up in the middle of my briefing and said "we have them", I can't begin to tell you how incredibly pissed I would be.
37. It's good to note that R2 interrupting Luke's Force powers (both times) nearly seals Yoda's death (from the 8 foot fall) and the total loss of the X-Wing, respectively. SHUT YOUR HOLE, R2!
38. I wonder how long Yoda was waiting to squeeze out that "judge me by my size, do you?"-line. 20 years? Exactly how long was he sitting in his little hovel thinking 'if someone says "it's too small" or "it's too big", boy are THEY gonna look stupid'?
39. I never liked how Luke bounced around from moods and snaps "you want the impossible!" at Yoda. Go easy, man.
40. Piett is the smartest man in all the Imperial Navy. We should all strive to be more like him.
41. Check that, Boba Fett is the smartest. But isn't he following a little too close? Wouldn't Han see them on radar or something? Or at least when he goes to take a pee (I have to assume that there's a window above the Falcon's urinal); come on, Solo. YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS, HAN.
42. If Lando was such an old friend, wouldn't he have fixed the Falcon, then left with Han and them? I mean if the gas mine isn't paying off so well, COME ON...LET'S RIDE!
43. How many R2 units do you think there are in galaxy? Billions? Yet 3PO (and all his odds) thinks he's found R2-D2 in Cloud City, a location they chose off a random list of planets in and/or near the Anorad System. PRETTY WISE, 3PO. Tell us, smart ass, what were the oddsmakers saying on THIS occasion?
44. Yoda should've gone with Luke. Prophecy schmrophecy. Help the kid out.
45. I'd like to have been a fly on the wall for the Vader, Boba, Han, Leia, Lando and Chewie dinner party.
46. What exactly is that thing that makes Han cringe and scream? Torture rack? For what? He doesn't know where Luke is, couldn't Vader sense that? Geez, FREEZE 'EM, why dontcha? Oh...oh wait.
47. I'm a strong advocate in the belief that Han's Bespin outfit is the hottest gear in the galaxy, rivaled only by Luke's Ceremonial get-up.
48. Chewie putting 3PO's head on backwards gives him Mistake #5 and a commanding lead.
49. Boba Fett holding his rifle at all times in the Carbon Freezing Chamber always made me laugh. Is there anything in this room (or anywhere at all) that would be too much for Vader and a dozen fully armed Stormtroopers to deal with?
50. I never thought men frozen in a block of carbonite could float. I guess I'm weird that way.
51. Luke's blatant disregard for Leia's yells (both of them totally audible) of "it's a trap!" pulls him within one of Chewie for the Championship of Mistake Making. Hey, I used the word "audible" twice in this Guide...round of applause.
52. When Vader clenches his fist, citing "we can DESTROY the Emperor", it's cool that you can hear the leather tighten if you listen close enough.
53. Really, the "I am your father" scene is better than sex...I'm assuming.
54. It's crunch time, Luke. Make two mistakes and it's all over for Chewie. Ah...nope. Nothing...TOO GOOD, HE IS.
55. Even though it is proper to welcome a superior in a grand fashion, does Darth Vader really need a dozen Stormtroopers and every officer on the whole ship to greet him?
56. Hey, 3P0 can feel pain, now! Getting shot by the Stormtrooper didn't faze him (and missing his limbs for a few hours), but a little heat on his "ankle" hurts. Damn Brits.
57. Y'know, artificial hands have come a long way in 20 years...I want one.
58. Lando dressing like Han almost makes me forget he was ever betrayed, frozen, hauled off by a bounty hunter, and sold to a crime lord. ALMOST.
59. What an ending. Two guys set out an adventure...ROLL CREDITS. I love Star Wars.
Episode VI-Return of the Jedi
1. Vader's entrance (or, I guess it's an exit from the shuttle) may very well be his best performance. He walks through the billowing smoke, waves his hand at that officer and just strides with that confident "I own this" attitude. Vader taught us all it's hip to be square...or maybe it was Huey Louis.
2. The 3PO - R2 banter leading up to Jabba's palace; after 3PO says "you'd probably short circuit", R2 makes his 'frightented' sound, yet, when they get to the door, and inside, R2's all business. Is this the first documented case of droid sarcasm? Three cheers for R2!
3. Jabba's Palace is really in a bad location. How do you get there? Do you have to walk? Is there a ferry that runs every 30 minutes? If you drive yourself, where's the parking lot? Answer me, Jabba!
4. Luke is definitely at his sweetest in this movie, but, good gracious, he is a total putz in the recorded message. What is he, a Jedi Priest? COME ON, SON.
5. I like that Jawa who fans Jabba. This guy chooses being a fat slug's servant over dealing junk in a mobile factory...or maybe he was out grabbing some lunch when the Sandcrawler got shot up, and was really left with few options.
6. The branding of the Gonk droid always scratches me right where I itch. 3PO felt no pain when he was blown into six pieces, but felt a welding torch, and this droid feels hot metal...and the fact that the branding device never actually TOUCHES the droid itself...and what're you branding a droid for? Just paint a symbol on it! AH!
7. There must be no worse moment than when you're thrown to the Rancor, you look up...and everybody's loving it.
8. Jedi is a revolution against Lucas's discrimination for the black man. There are a record FOUR, count 'em, FOUR black guys in this film. The second one (the first one being Lando) is on the right side of the screen as 3PO says "oh, Chewbacca!" He pops up a few more times, too, but, this is where you can clearly see 'em. I've named him Reginald...Reginald Wallace.
9. In case you were worried, those few shots where Boba Fett's image is flipped (notice his rangefinder on the right, instead of the left) doesn't dilute his coolness at all. Fear not.
10. Chewie's hair is a cinematic marvel here. I like how it's sort of parted down the middle, falling to the side. It's like a tribute to Han, since he's not swinging for now.
11. When Boushh creeps through Jabba's room to free Han, you can see Ponda Baba sleeping on the floor in the background. I guess it's exhausting living without a right arm, while also trying to cope with the fact you have a baby's ass hanging off your face...oh yeah, and you're wanted for murder. Sleep well, chief.
12. Was I the only one who wondered why the block of carbonite comes complete with it's own thawing device? And even so, why didn't Jabba just deactivate it so Han could never get out? Wow...I really need to get a life.
13. When the curtain pulls back and the Ree-Yees guy is covering 3P0's mouth, it's a pretty wise idea if you consider nobody in Jabba's Palace knew Boushh was actually Leia or, even if they DID know somehow, they didn't know that 3P0 had any allegiance to Leia. Just a precaution, I guess. All right Jabba...you're pretty smart.
14. Was I the only person on planet Earth who thought that Luke, when he first enters the palace, was actually Vader or the Emperor? And he was coming to take Leia, Han, Chewie and the droids to try and trap Luke again? I guess I was. But, the lesson, as always: I'm an idiot.
15. When it's downtime in Jabba's Palace, I always wonder whether Salacious Crumb is staring at Jabba's tail or Leia's thigh. He's either extremely bored and gay or he's doing exactly what every male Star Wars fan ever would do.
16. When Luke falls into the Rancor pit, how stupid is the Gamorrean Guard who tries to climb out the tunnel? First of all, it's GATED and, secondly, I highly doubt he'd get very far, considering he's almost bigger than the hole. Luke's standing there, by the rock, "yeah, go ahead and try that, man. See where it takes you...I'll be here."
17. In all honesty, Luke is either deceptively strong or the Rancor is a huge baby because when Luke hits him on the finger with that rock, it's like the equivalent of hitting me in my hand with a pencil eraser, yet the Rancor recoils in pain for like, 8 seconds.
18. That Rodian behind the two Gamorrean Guards kills me because of those hands. He's just staring at them thinking "why in the name of Jesus did the creature shop think this was a good idea?!" They look terrible.
19. Right as the Rancor dies, those two aforementioned Gamorrean Guards are really laughing it up. One of them must have either farted or dropped a killer one-liner about that Rodian's fingers. Or maybe they were reminiscing about a time where that Guard that was eaten by the Rancor said "that Rancor's not so tough." Ah...I admit, I'd laugh too.
20. Seriously, how tall is Mark Hamill? He's minute compared to Han, and is nothing but a SPECK compared to Chewie.
21. I like how, on the Sail Barge, the two Jawa's are just sitting on Jabba's platform. What a sweet gig that must be.
22. Right as Jabba says "dee Jedi...", before Han's "tell that slimy piece..."-speech, Boba Fett turns toward camera. I'm going to assume he was saying something like "Man, I catch this Solo guy and I don't even get to smoke 'im. What a world."
23. I like how Han can suddenly see perfectly as Luke walks off the plank. Watch Han's reactions, I THINK HE WAS LYING. Then, when the lightsaber comes down, he follows it with his eyes. Yeah, a BIG LIGHT BLUR, all right.
24. Boba Fett is maybe at his sweetest right before he goes out like the biggest punk ever. Only the Fett man could wrap up the Galaxy's savior with ROPE.
25. When Han says "Boba Fett?!", what in the HELL is he doing with that pole?
26. The question about what Luke's doing holding his hand straight up in the air when it gets shot is a good one, and a funny one, but, the better question is, why, of all areas of the body, did this guy pick the HAND to shoot at? Head, chest, leg, arm, give me SOMETHING.
27. I like the Officers and the Emperor's buddies making small talk as they follow Vader and Palpatine through the hangar. "So, Dave, how're the kids? Wife? Good? Gooood."
28. Luke looks extremely uninterested in what Yoda has to say until the "Master Yoda, you can't die" line. He's probably thinking about Vader, but, I bet it's nachos...lots of 'em.
29. Did Yoda actually convince himself that the "rest I need" act would allow him to weasel out of Luke's Vader question? "I just need to roll over...lie to the kid...then die. It's BULLETPROOF."
30. I like Yoda's "Luuuuuke..." he chugs out before every nugget of knowledge he drops. Like anyone else was in the room, or like Luke would stop listening if he didn't hear his name.
31. The whole Obi-Wan speech is such a cheap, quick way to sort everything out, but, because it's Star Wars, it works really well, and, I love me some Obi-Wan.
32. Watch the simply terrified look on Mon Mothma's face as Admiral Ackbar briefs the room. She is mortified beyond comprehension.
33. I always have been curious as to what Chewie yelled when Han explains he doesn't have a command crew for the shuttle. "What?! What the hell is on Endor you think I can't handle? Damn, man, I thought we was tight!"
34. As Luke walks into the room ("I'm with you, too"), the guy behind him is really mad he didn't speak up sooner to grab that 4th seat on the shuttle. That's a tale he'll tell for years and years, "I was THIS close to going on a mission with Princess Leia, Han Solo and Chewbacca...THIS CLOSE!" "Yeah, sure Dad, whatever you say."
35. There's our mystery black man! Over Han's shoulder as he and Lando chat about the Falcon. I haven't named this guy, but I think it should be something that sounds white. Billy Denslow?
36. The first appearance of my favorite character from Jedi is when Han and Chewie are waiting for Luke and Leia to return. The old guy in the background with the white beard. This guy's got moxie, he's going places. We'll see him again.
37. I think Leia wearing a watch on Endor is a bit rude. "You have someone more important to be, little Miss Princess? Hmm?"
38. The planets align and Han and Chewie's hair share a common parted-down-the-middle ground right before they're caught in the net.
39. Hey, 3PO! Can you feel pain now? "Oh my head..." WHAT A TWIST!
40. If I'm on a schedule to fulfill a destiny, and trying to complete objectives that will lead to the downfall of a tyrannical Empire, therefore altering the galaxy forever, I'm sorry, I don't care who or what you are, but if you trap me and my friends in a net and point a spear at me, I'm killing you.
41. Jesus Christ on a bicycle, Chewbacca is HUGE! Watch as he hovers over Luke, Han and Leia after 3P0's "magic". Chewie's head doesn't even fit in the frame! I thought he was a tree!
42. For being "not that much of a storyteller", 3PO does a pretty good job of securing the Rebels' admittance into the tribe.
43. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Jedi is the only film where a non-human character accounts all the adventures from the two prequels in a foreign language, complete with sound effects. I THINK I'M RIGHT HERE. But, I have been wrong before.
44. Luke Skywalker is my favorite Jedi Knight who was separated from his twin sister at birth, before saving the galaxy, kissing that sister, losing his right hand as he fights his evil father, then cutting off his father's right hand (which was already artificial anyway) in another duel before saving the galaxy again, and restoring the good in his father. Honestly, nobody else comes close.
45. Why the Rebel ships fly in and out amongst the fleet before making the jump to lightspeed instead of flying at a safe distance away from the huge cruisers boggles my mind. Someone's going to lose an eye, young man!
46. Old Man Rebel strikes back after Han tricks the Biker Scout into chasing him. The tactics expressed her defy logic. First of all, why IS this 80-year old man part of an elite jungle commando unit, and secondly, why does he put his gun down after he comes face to face with the Biker Scout? Yeah, capture them, then put YOUR weapon down like it's burning a hole in your hands. Smooth, buddy...real smooth.
47. I'd like to see the Royal Guards' rec room. I bet "guards, leave us" are sacred words in that place. They probably sit around a poker table, playing cards, eating chips, doing Palpatine impressions. They probably aren't such bad guys, just guard the epitome of evil because the pay is good.
48. Palpatine's "oh and I'm afraid the deflector shield..." bit always reminds me of this German teacher I used to have who would use that same tone when talking to a kid who acted up. God, I hated that class. And I hate the Emperor.
49. When Han, Chewie and everyone burst in the back door of the bunker, keep an eye out for the guys Chewie backs into the corner. The guy in the back on the left is absolutely terrified...just...wow.
50. The guy who yells "FREEZE!" not only jumps up and backwards to fall over the rail, but he screams like the biggest sissy ever. Oh, and keep your ears open for the "hyah!" Han lets out as he hurls that box. It's like Tae Kwon Do...or maybe Tae HAN Do. No? Nothing? All right...moving on...
51. That guy who grabs Chewie's crossbow from him has got to be the bravest man I've ever seen. And hey, that same guy is still wide-eyed with fear. Hooray for continuity.
52. Admiral Ackbar's "it's a trap!" should find it's way into everyday of the rest of your life. Make it so.
53. Are five Stormtroopers really necessary to accost two unarmed protocol droids? And what's that "Freeze! Don't move!" all about?
54. The Stormtroopers break out of their shooting slump by hitting a hang glider (by accident, you'll notice), Leia and R2 pretty quickly. Oh, and you know if a Stormtrooper had suffered Leia's wound, he'd be dead.
55. I think Nien Nunb crapped his pants four times over when the Death Star fires its first shot. I know I did.
56. There he is, the final unknown black man in the Star Wars galaxy. He graces us with his prescence just long enough to say "it's gonna blow!" Well, it does blow...blows to be a black guy in Star Wars. Sorry, man.
57. It appears that Ewoks really didn't expect to confront Imperial walkers because they're #1 defense tactic is running away. But, I guess they WERE prepared, or maybe they just keep logs tied up in trees and in huge piles at the tops of hills at all times. Y'know, precautionary measures.
58. What a final thought that must've been for the driver of that AT-ST that Chewie (in an AT-ST of his own) blows up. "My own men--" DEATH. That sucks but, hooray for Chewie, avenging those mistakes from Empire.
59. Let it be known that Luke is the first guy to kick his opponent in a lightsaber duel (until the Prequels). KICKIN' IT SKYWALKER STYLE! Sweet Buddha, look at Luke next to Vader...it's like a ball point pen and a drumstick!
60. When the Imperials "need reinforcements to continue the pursuit", I'm convinced the three guys with funny helmets sitting at the console are all identical...they're triplets!
61. I think Vader knew he was going to kill Palpatine, but waited a little bit, to give Luke some time to think about what he'd done. "Yeah, maybe next time you won't be so quick to slice off your daddy's hands, WILL YA?"
62. Even though the Death Star kills many more when it blows up; it's strange to think that a million people are killed instantly on board the Executor because some jackass crashed his ship. Wheee hooo.
63. The pilot of that TIE Fighter that chases the Falcon until the bitter end deserves a medal of valor. He's the only Imperial competent enough to not crash on the inside of the Death Star, and he continues to chase them even after they blow up the reactor. He COULDA BEEN A CONTENDAH!
64. I remember the scene in Empire, I'm aware Luke and Leia are white, but when Vader removed his helmet, I earnestly expected him to be black. Well, thems the breaks, I guess.
65. I like this movie a lot and think Richard Marquand did a terrific job, but, it's kind of unfortunate that George Lucas's name isn't the name we see as the film, and the saga, conclude. Ah, who cares.