(no subject)
I apologize
I've spent the past few weeks feeling as if I'm a monstrosity
retrospectively inclined, and it's bullshit in hindsight.
I'm still the villain for speaking what everybody was thinking.
for assuming the logical to be true.
yet in spite of my caring, I'm still the asshole, because I was honest.
I guess that old wive's tale is false, at best.
if moses was showing us the promised land, this sure as hell isn't it.
there's life everywhere except in myself.
I love her. I don't love her. But I'll be damned if I don't try to see if that happens.
...because as I said, I do love her. She is a saint to a sinner like myself, and I owe her my life.
I will not be the ritual shit in the hole that festers until it ruins everything around it.
I will decay properly, and allow my filth to do something good for a change.
I must feed something's growth with my own impurities.
I've spent the past few weeks feeling as if I'm a monstrosity
retrospectively inclined, and it's bullshit in hindsight.
I'm still the villain for speaking what everybody was thinking.
for assuming the logical to be true.
yet in spite of my caring, I'm still the asshole, because I was honest.
I guess that old wive's tale is false, at best.
if moses was showing us the promised land, this sure as hell isn't it.
there's life everywhere except in myself.
I love her. I don't love her. But I'll be damned if I don't try to see if that happens.
...because as I said, I do love her. She is a saint to a sinner like myself, and I owe her my life.
I will not be the ritual shit in the hole that festers until it ruins everything around it.
I will decay properly, and allow my filth to do something good for a change.
I must feed something's growth with my own impurities.