(no subject)
as i sit here, at 4 am, in this hotel room i cant stop thinking that im somehow losing my best friends. It seems like ive become an outcast, like i dont fit in with the very group of people ive spent my whole life with. I have made some other friends, but they live in other states. I feel like i havent seen or really hung out with ryan since taste of chaos. I dont do anything anymore, i sit at home watch tv and go to work, and occasionally make plans maybe go to donuts, but i dont know about anything anymore. when i do see the guys it seems like shit has changed so much that im so left out, i get bummed out about anything that has to do with them. i hardly ever see jared or steven. i havent hung out with steven once since ive been home. this is what i think about at night. if i didnt have a certain someone to talk to about whatever, id probably be fucked. i miss home, i miss my friends