just thought you all should know....
i have come to the conclusion that no body cared about who i am or what i want..i feel likewi have gone thought my whole high school career with nobody really taking the time to know me... all my firneds are abandoning me, it feels, maybe i have more dreams and aspirations then them, maybe i just want to achieve more...whatever thehell it is, it fucking sucks. yeah, most of you are taking this as me being a bitch, but you know what? when was the last time i REALLY complained about anything? i mean really let loose and screamed and bitched a fit? unless i am missing a certain part of my life, i cant remember a recent time. also, i am always willing tohelp people with their problems, but nobody seams to care for mine. everyday there is the casual convos with past friends, of how are you? good, you? it is fucking gay. im tired of being petty, and fake. this is the real me. i am always open to helping people, but nobody seams to be there for me. everyone's life seamsso much better then mine. everyone hasa crush or a boyfriend/girlfriend, and i don't. im not tryin g to be self pittying here, but what does everyone else have that i dont? and about the moving thing, fuck you all who have asked me what is wrong with y house. it was not my fucking decision to move. hell, i rewally don't want to, but i have no choice, and with my family having money, that's not my problem either! god damnit, i just get so fed up with people saying shit to me, well, here is my response, go fuck yourself. seriously, i am not depressed right now, this is stuff i have always been wanting to say, so here you go. some of you cant see what is right in front of your noses, it makes me sick. chasing after something that will never be your own, but hell i guess that is what im doing with my life. i guess now i have a real reason...im so tired of always trying to be positive about crap, people always looking to me to make hte right choice, hell, how do i know what the right choice is? i might seem like im an adult, but hell, inside i feel like a five year old. i just hope that someone will read this and prove to me that i am loved and not be fake. throwing bullshit out the window. yeah, i just want to have a rock-ass time like the rest of everyone, but no one seems to see that in me. i hope now if you talk to me, you won't be fake, and will see the real me, the me that i try constantly to hide in my closet, hid from all humanity, because humanity is a crule thing. im not going to comit suicide, but these are the thoughts that swim though my head constantly, day after day, and i just need to let them out. one last thing, god savve humanity, and god save me, or what are we? we are no better then animals resorting to survival instinct, and hell if im going down, your all going down with me.