(no subject)
have you ever wondered how much people might take you for granted? I think I just found out from one group.
I have a couple who I have been friends with for... about seven or eight years, I think. Even though we have always had a set time each week to hang out it has always been me getting a hold of them to see if we are still on, because you never know what schedules might do. Now when I say always its literally about 95% of the time. And lately that has really been grating on me. Usually the only time they get a hold of me about it is when they need to cancel or move the night we hang out.
This weekend I decided to see how long, if at all, it would take them to get to me. I didn't text or anything, I just let it sit still. I wound up going to my neighbors party, having a great time, and playing poker for about four hours. I just now got a text asking what happened on Saturday night. It's been 3 days since then, and just now I get the text? And the reason why I never heard from them? He got drunk and forgot. It's really times like these when you wonder what is really going on. I used to be one of their closest friends, but lately it feels like I am on the outside looking in.
He once said that he was a bit sad because we never go out and do stuff like adults. Well, they never ask, or set anything up. What I am supposed to do about that?
And I think they expect me to help them move, and I don't know if I can, or even if I want to. All I know is that I want to feel some sort of recognition other than when they are drunk.
Sorry for writing pretty much downers when I write. I usually have a hard time actually saying what is going in my life, what i'm thinking about me, and so on because I never really had that growing up. Or if I tried I would get shot down, knocked about, and left alone about it. So I write here when I really need to get something out. And yes, I still feel alone sometimes. And I always replay a quote from Ray when I am feeling down and out. It pretty much says that when I walk out that door I feel like I walk out alone. And aside from my relationship with God, that is sometimes how I feel. And it sucks, and I wish I didn't. Usually that just hits when I am tired, and not totally feel all there. And I know I should feel that way, but you can't always hold back stuff when you really should. And I know you are going through your own stuff right now, because we all do from time to time, and that's another reason I don't talk much about myself. I don't want to be a bother to anyone with my trivial matters that I have to deal with. I mean they aren't trivial to me, but in the grand scheme of things they can look that way. And, you know, I just want to feel like I'm not trivial.
Like I'm not taken just for granted...
I have a couple who I have been friends with for... about seven or eight years, I think. Even though we have always had a set time each week to hang out it has always been me getting a hold of them to see if we are still on, because you never know what schedules might do. Now when I say always its literally about 95% of the time. And lately that has really been grating on me. Usually the only time they get a hold of me about it is when they need to cancel or move the night we hang out.
This weekend I decided to see how long, if at all, it would take them to get to me. I didn't text or anything, I just let it sit still. I wound up going to my neighbors party, having a great time, and playing poker for about four hours. I just now got a text asking what happened on Saturday night. It's been 3 days since then, and just now I get the text? And the reason why I never heard from them? He got drunk and forgot. It's really times like these when you wonder what is really going on. I used to be one of their closest friends, but lately it feels like I am on the outside looking in.
He once said that he was a bit sad because we never go out and do stuff like adults. Well, they never ask, or set anything up. What I am supposed to do about that?
And I think they expect me to help them move, and I don't know if I can, or even if I want to. All I know is that I want to feel some sort of recognition other than when they are drunk.
Sorry for writing pretty much downers when I write. I usually have a hard time actually saying what is going in my life, what i'm thinking about me, and so on because I never really had that growing up. Or if I tried I would get shot down, knocked about, and left alone about it. So I write here when I really need to get something out. And yes, I still feel alone sometimes. And I always replay a quote from Ray when I am feeling down and out. It pretty much says that when I walk out that door I feel like I walk out alone. And aside from my relationship with God, that is sometimes how I feel. And it sucks, and I wish I didn't. Usually that just hits when I am tired, and not totally feel all there. And I know I should feel that way, but you can't always hold back stuff when you really should. And I know you are going through your own stuff right now, because we all do from time to time, and that's another reason I don't talk much about myself. I don't want to be a bother to anyone with my trivial matters that I have to deal with. I mean they aren't trivial to me, but in the grand scheme of things they can look that way. And, you know, I just want to feel like I'm not trivial.
Like I'm not taken just for granted...