I'm only sleeping.
Last night, among other things, I dreamt that I had to run away from a toxic explosion set off by a little girl throwing a toaster into a bonfire. Maybe more ridiculous is that I can't shake the feeling of being in that dream -- panic, a sick knot in my stomach.
Or maybe the sense of the dream is kind of blending in with the sense of needing to be around people and not being able to do so; something that happens, I guess, every other month or so. At first I thought it was because of the fear of change (boys, school, moving?), but I think it's my temporary job -- sitting alone in the anthro lib in museums, repeating the same motions, trying to listen to the same music all day, and then coming home with nothing else at the ready to keep me busy, occupied, happy. Being a happy hermit takes, it appears, a very delicate balance. Probably zoloft would be easier.
Or maybe the sense of the dream is kind of blending in with the sense of needing to be around people and not being able to do so; something that happens, I guess, every other month or so. At first I thought it was because of the fear of change (boys, school, moving?), but I think it's my temporary job -- sitting alone in the anthro lib in museums, repeating the same motions, trying to listen to the same music all day, and then coming home with nothing else at the ready to keep me busy, occupied, happy. Being a happy hermit takes, it appears, a very delicate balance. Probably zoloft would be easier.