hello again
I haven't written in a while. Roxanne, sorry for not getting you the cell phone number i'm using, i don't know the number off the top of my head. I'll text your cell phone with it when im finished writing.
Let's see. I feel pretty confident about school nowadays, which is something i'm not used to. I like being a math major for a couple of reasons. 1) I love the challenge! 2) Homework isn't homework, it's like doing Sudoku puzzles in the New York Times. and 3) I love the impression it gives lol. It's awesome telling people you are a math major because everyone is always so impressed. It's not really that hard, at least not now. Being an english major is probably more demanding. Then again, i'm just starting. I bet when i get into Quantum Physics and Statistics things will spice up a little more.
I've noticed a couple of changes about my social behavior compared to last year. I'm not as quiet as i was last year. I think i was so fucked up because i was really self-conscious. I tried so hard to lose weight and look pretty that it got the best of me and i felt like i was being judged. Now, i haven't been to the gym in months, i'm a flabby, lazy, pot-smoking, working student and i just don't care anymore. It's weird because i felt a lot prettier last year but was unable to socialize. This year i hate my appearance, but am able to socialize. However, my sex life is more fucked up than it's ever been. I feel so ugly in bed and can't enjoy myself which is not a good thing. I need to get my ass off the couch and get it back in the gym. My lovehands are killing me inside.
I wish there was something more fun to do than go to the gym. I wish i was involved in a sport or something. It's too late to sign up for anything because everyone else will already be in shape, i'd just bring them down. Who the fuck am i kidding? I'll never sign up for a sport. I was thinking of purchasing a cardio dance tape just because i think it would be fun. Normally i would start running on my mother's treadmill to get myself ready to go back to the gym, but fucking Moose's presence fucks that up. I don't know why, but whenever i take a leave of absence from the whole "gym" thing, i need to build my stamina on my own before returning. This may be the reason i haven't been back in a while. There have been plenty of times when i really feel like running, but not at the gym, and i can't because Moose has taken over the entire fucking house. For example, my mother is in Chicago for a week... and Moose is still in the fucking house. What the hell is that? They got into a fight a couple of weeks ago and she was about to throw him out, but then they just settled that they are going to get therapy instead.... Okay, they haven't even been dating for a year and they need counseling to keep their relationship working? That doesn't make any sense! Just break up! Obviously it's not working! Jesus Christ my mother is stupid.
Working at my dad's has its pros and cons. It sucks because the work is just so repetitive. After two hours of it i start to go crazy. I say the same thing over and over and over! I don't think i would mind if i was in a room all by myself, it's just that i feel like everyone hates me because i just don't stop! And most days i don't even make $10 and hour. However, the hours are really good. I love how i have the weekends to myself. I wouldn't be able to find that anywhere else. I don't know, maybe by the end of the year i will actually be able to do some recruiting. I would be making phat dollars if i could do that. Baby steps i guess.
I have a little dilemma: I want to cut off all of the disgusting ends of my bleached hair, but i still want to keep it long. Each day that goes by, my split ends get worse and worse and worse. And it's nothing that a little trim will take care of. The nastiness is at least 5 or 6 inches long. That's a year's worth of growing. I love how my hair is long now, but the condition of it is horrendous. I want to go to the hair salon tomorrow, but i still don't know what to do with it. I don't know whether i should cut a couple of inches (which will basically do nothing), or take off a chunk that will leave it just grazing my shoulders (which still won't get rid of the disgustingness, but will take off a significant portion). I just don't know. ALSO, i don't know whether to cut the gross ends off my layers (which i'm also trying to grow out, but are the root of the problem in the first place). I just don't know. I think what i'll do is just get a "dusting" of my layers and cut my hair to where it was in the winter time (just about past my shoulders). This will even things out a bit and take off a lot of the dead hair, all the while leaving it semi-long. It's just gonna be another 6 months before it gets back to where it is now. Like i said this is a major issue... Forgive me for being so superficial.
Alright, i'm done.
Let's see. I feel pretty confident about school nowadays, which is something i'm not used to. I like being a math major for a couple of reasons. 1) I love the challenge! 2) Homework isn't homework, it's like doing Sudoku puzzles in the New York Times. and 3) I love the impression it gives lol. It's awesome telling people you are a math major because everyone is always so impressed. It's not really that hard, at least not now. Being an english major is probably more demanding. Then again, i'm just starting. I bet when i get into Quantum Physics and Statistics things will spice up a little more.
I've noticed a couple of changes about my social behavior compared to last year. I'm not as quiet as i was last year. I think i was so fucked up because i was really self-conscious. I tried so hard to lose weight and look pretty that it got the best of me and i felt like i was being judged. Now, i haven't been to the gym in months, i'm a flabby, lazy, pot-smoking, working student and i just don't care anymore. It's weird because i felt a lot prettier last year but was unable to socialize. This year i hate my appearance, but am able to socialize. However, my sex life is more fucked up than it's ever been. I feel so ugly in bed and can't enjoy myself which is not a good thing. I need to get my ass off the couch and get it back in the gym. My lovehands are killing me inside.
I wish there was something more fun to do than go to the gym. I wish i was involved in a sport or something. It's too late to sign up for anything because everyone else will already be in shape, i'd just bring them down. Who the fuck am i kidding? I'll never sign up for a sport. I was thinking of purchasing a cardio dance tape just because i think it would be fun. Normally i would start running on my mother's treadmill to get myself ready to go back to the gym, but fucking Moose's presence fucks that up. I don't know why, but whenever i take a leave of absence from the whole "gym" thing, i need to build my stamina on my own before returning. This may be the reason i haven't been back in a while. There have been plenty of times when i really feel like running, but not at the gym, and i can't because Moose has taken over the entire fucking house. For example, my mother is in Chicago for a week... and Moose is still in the fucking house. What the hell is that? They got into a fight a couple of weeks ago and she was about to throw him out, but then they just settled that they are going to get therapy instead.... Okay, they haven't even been dating for a year and they need counseling to keep their relationship working? That doesn't make any sense! Just break up! Obviously it's not working! Jesus Christ my mother is stupid.
Working at my dad's has its pros and cons. It sucks because the work is just so repetitive. After two hours of it i start to go crazy. I say the same thing over and over and over! I don't think i would mind if i was in a room all by myself, it's just that i feel like everyone hates me because i just don't stop! And most days i don't even make $10 and hour. However, the hours are really good. I love how i have the weekends to myself. I wouldn't be able to find that anywhere else. I don't know, maybe by the end of the year i will actually be able to do some recruiting. I would be making phat dollars if i could do that. Baby steps i guess.
I have a little dilemma: I want to cut off all of the disgusting ends of my bleached hair, but i still want to keep it long. Each day that goes by, my split ends get worse and worse and worse. And it's nothing that a little trim will take care of. The nastiness is at least 5 or 6 inches long. That's a year's worth of growing. I love how my hair is long now, but the condition of it is horrendous. I want to go to the hair salon tomorrow, but i still don't know what to do with it. I don't know whether i should cut a couple of inches (which will basically do nothing), or take off a chunk that will leave it just grazing my shoulders (which still won't get rid of the disgustingness, but will take off a significant portion). I just don't know. ALSO, i don't know whether to cut the gross ends off my layers (which i'm also trying to grow out, but are the root of the problem in the first place). I just don't know. I think what i'll do is just get a "dusting" of my layers and cut my hair to where it was in the winter time (just about past my shoulders). This will even things out a bit and take off a lot of the dead hair, all the while leaving it semi-long. It's just gonna be another 6 months before it gets back to where it is now. Like i said this is a major issue... Forgive me for being so superficial.
Alright, i'm done.