(no subject)
So yesterday was Christmas. Incredibly uneventful, however lightyears better than any past ones, which I cannot even remember. I smoked that day... I don't remember much that happened afterward. I have these pictures of the day, that are so extremely outrageous it makes me believe that it must have been a fantastic time, however I don't remember anything that isn't in a picture. It really saddens me... because that's how my life is... was.... if it wasn't in a picture then I wasn't sure if it was even there at all. How could I? I mean, I couldn't even distinguish between reality and dreams. Honestly, no idea... and this year, I have a few camera phone pictures (that Jason took), but that doesn't even begin to describe all that happened yesterday. I didn't feel that desperate need to record the day and night. I didn't even realize that time was passing me by the way I used to. I could appreciate the time spent with friends. And its not that I didn't have good friends before, if anything I was closer to them, its just, I didn't have even a comprehension on how to appreciate it. How to love, care. And even now I'm not sure how to... but i have a better idea. Nothing negative at all... everything is always taken care of. I don't know if this thought makes me so happy I could cry, or so sad I'm almost relieved. Both, probably.
Naptime Jason set this picture as my background.
hot.
SOHO rocks.