for science
Next week, when I'm between jobs, there's a few things I have to get done. I have to find university jobs. I have to find informational interviews for places I'd like to work. I have to find volunteer work in a field I want to break into. And I have to go to UMass Boston and/or the local community colleges to decide if I can handle school.
Oh school. I hate school with the passion of a thousand burning suns. I hate school because school hates me and makes me crazy and delusional and sick. But I think I need to go. I need to get into science. It's what I've always wanted, but I don't know if I'm smart enough. I wanted to get tested for learning disorders, but those $3000 tests are certainly not covered by insurance. I kind of feel bad for wanting the tests, like I'm looking for an excuse or something. I should just suck it up.
Maybe if I take one class at a time for a while. That would be more affordable, among other things. Affordable in monetary terms and in sanity terms. A part of me wants to just do the best I can in class and ignore the grades, but why do poorly on paper if I'm paying for it? Then again, a bad grade on paper doesn't mean I didn't learn anything. In my experience, the good grade on paper has NOTHING to do with whether you learned anything, and everything to do with how fast you can bullshit. School stops being about learning and becomes a showcase of doing tricks to get the numbers right.
One of the reasons to meet with an advisor is to see if I can engineer the courses to suit my meandering needs. I need to do undergrad all over again for science, and there is NO WAY I am doing gen eds again. No effing way.
And then there's the costs. Community college is $100 per credit, and science classes are generally four credits each. UMass Boston is even higher. If I went to community college, I'd have maximum flexibility and savings. If I went to UMass Boston, the classes might be better and I could get a dance minor.
*ponders*
I really don't want to do homework anymore, but that's too damn bad, isn't it?
And I kind of want to go to school as a way to meet people. That would be nice.
Oh school. I hate school with the passion of a thousand burning suns. I hate school because school hates me and makes me crazy and delusional and sick. But I think I need to go. I need to get into science. It's what I've always wanted, but I don't know if I'm smart enough. I wanted to get tested for learning disorders, but those $3000 tests are certainly not covered by insurance. I kind of feel bad for wanting the tests, like I'm looking for an excuse or something. I should just suck it up.
Maybe if I take one class at a time for a while. That would be more affordable, among other things. Affordable in monetary terms and in sanity terms. A part of me wants to just do the best I can in class and ignore the grades, but why do poorly on paper if I'm paying for it? Then again, a bad grade on paper doesn't mean I didn't learn anything. In my experience, the good grade on paper has NOTHING to do with whether you learned anything, and everything to do with how fast you can bullshit. School stops being about learning and becomes a showcase of doing tricks to get the numbers right.
One of the reasons to meet with an advisor is to see if I can engineer the courses to suit my meandering needs. I need to do undergrad all over again for science, and there is NO WAY I am doing gen eds again. No effing way.
And then there's the costs. Community college is $100 per credit, and science classes are generally four credits each. UMass Boston is even higher. If I went to community college, I'd have maximum flexibility and savings. If I went to UMass Boston, the classes might be better and I could get a dance minor.
*ponders*
I really don't want to do homework anymore, but that's too damn bad, isn't it?
And I kind of want to go to school as a way to meet people. That would be nice.