the deal...

[mac_tassels]

ok. so, here's the deal. I hate this thing, but i just cant stay away. Lately i have been feeling like i dont exist, like noone would notice if i dropped off the face of the planet. In testing my theory i found that it is true. No one notices unless you make them notice. I decided that i dont really like that feeling, but i cant just go on being in

Comments

its all in the perception

[witch_baby11]

Lara, you say no one notices you, and that you are invisible. I say that you should be more aware of the people who do notice you and see you. If you saw them, maybe you wouldn't feel so alone.

Re: its all in the perception

[witch_baby11]

i think imogen is more or less dead on. maybe its not so much that no one notices you, its that perhaps you are so concerned with people noticing you, that maybe you forget the duality and mutuality of a friendship. for the record, when i've felt this way in the past (which i have) i find that giving a little more to the friendships that are important to me allows me not only to feel connected, but to remind others of the importance of the relationship. good luck :-)

[mac_tassels]

well, there is only so much one can put out. sometimes it feels really good for someone to talk to you for no reason...or for someone to call just to say hi or even for someone to let you know what is going on and not just assume that either you dont want to be a part of whatever "it" is, or that you already know. i do not want to have to be the one following people around all the time. sometimes i want to feel actually included. I see your point...but it does not always apply, and i am feeling like the more i put myself out there, the more of a fool i am made out to be. Not to be depressing or nuthin....

reevaluation

[witch_baby11]

well, perhaps then you need to reevaluate what you're "putting out there" and how it is being perceived. maybe changing your efforts would produce a different result

Re: reevaluation

[mac_tassels]

it sounds tome like you have somewhat of a vested interest, but, as i do not know who you are, i cannot see what that might be. If there is something that i am doing that is making a situation for you (or anyone, for that matter) uncomfortable i would be happy to talk about it. At the moment i had some things that were bothering me and i needed to write them down. I am noticing that i feel like i am writing out of defense of my feelings. I will not let myself feel as if i have to defend or justify the way i was feeling at a particular moment as i am now in a different place and can only speak about the way i feel now.

Re: reevaluation

[witch_baby11]

no vested interest. don't know you or your situation well, just suggesting options to help clarify what you're feeling and how you might change your actions to experience a difference in friendship. did not intend to make you defensive, intended to make you think.

Re: reevaluation

[mac_tassels]

Thank you for the different view of things. i am feeling a lot better.