i don't believe in new year's resolutions
so i'm just back today from my 10-day trip to houston, and all it's done is reaffirm the fact that i can not spend as much time as i'd like to with my loves in texas. it's also reaffirmed, however, that the time apart just makes the days i do get to spend with them all the more special. AND i'm also gonna venture to say that my being in st. louis allows me to escape most of the drama that all the kids who to go school together/in close proximity with one another have to deal with more often. although some of it does get back to me all the way up in st. louis. but mostly the trip to h-town was completely invigorating, even though i didn't get to see everybody i wanted to. sometimes i feel like being around them just lets me be... myself. like, not that i'm not myself around other people, but i guess it just takes me such a long time to get completely comfortable around people that i just walk around with this front for such a long time. i wish i didn't walk around guarded so much of the time. and the coolest thing, i think, was nobody ever said that they wanted to be back in high school. nobody kept trying to make it seem like everything was just like it was a year ago. because we all know it's not. i feel like the only way these friendships can really survive is if people let them grow. no, we're not in high school anymore. and yeah, that means things will be different. but they'll work out if you know when to try and make things work and when to back off and let fate do its thing. i guess i'm just saying all of this to say that even though i don't talk to everyone in houston on a regular basis, and even though i'm not best friends with everybody there, it does me good to go back and see myself in a different light. i thoroughly enjoyed everybody's company, and i thank everybody who let me crash at their house so much, you have no idea how much it means to me that you'd open up your homes to me for numerous days in a row. i love you all tremendously, and though i don't say it all the time, yall are in my heart always. i'm making new friends at WashU, and some of them are pretty incredible, but nothing can take the place of time, and we've had that together. i love you.