LJI, Week 12: Failure
"Thee should have known better," And then there came the slap.
Quakers are a quiet, gentle people. Except the ones who aren't, and mask their demons in plain speech and claims of being birthright and tales of all the souls their great grandparents saved.
I still catch myself using plain speech. "Thee" will fly out of my mouth before I even notice, and I can't swallow back those four little letters. And I still flinch, waiting for the slap to follow.
Be a good wife. Live a good life. You really don't want that'--it's selfish. Tend to the babies. Make Father his tea. Pretend this is who you want to be.
Spread your legs and pretend you're dead. Wait until you have to fake some pleasure. If not, then comes the slap again.
But at least that feels like something.
Bow your head, pretend you're dead, wait for the end.
And it ends with my failure as a wife and a quiet "Fuck thee."
Quakers are a quiet, gentle people. Except the ones who aren't, and mask their demons in plain speech and claims of being birthright and tales of all the souls their great grandparents saved.
I still catch myself using plain speech. "Thee" will fly out of my mouth before I even notice, and I can't swallow back those four little letters. And I still flinch, waiting for the slap to follow.
Be a good wife. Live a good life. You really don't want that'--it's selfish. Tend to the babies. Make Father his tea. Pretend this is who you want to be.
Spread your legs and pretend you're dead. Wait until you have to fake some pleasure. If not, then comes the slap again.
But at least that feels like something.
Bow your head, pretend you're dead, wait for the end.
And it ends with my failure as a wife and a quiet "Fuck thee."