oh God help me
i can't think clearly. i don't think i've ever taken a big risk in my life, and now i believe i'm on the brink of one. i suck. i suck at being true to myself. i suck at making decisions. i didn't seek anyone's approval, i didn't seek Gods guidance, i decided selfishly and now i'm in complete torment daily. the kind of people that i can't stand the most are phonies and right now i, am, a, giant, phony. maybe i feel like i have to be unhappy. i wish i could hear the answer and how to go about it. gah i'm deaf. i hate how deaf and selfish i am. also i'm a chicken. i can't trust.