RP with animus_nocendi

[mabofwinterdark]

She didn't pace. She felt like it. She felt like a lot of things but she didn't feel like going with her husband to get him looked after. She tried to keep things together. Really did. Made it through the seizures and the leaving and the threat of divorce. But then Annika fled and she found her absolute brick wall. Ada should have been dealt with a

Comments

[animus_nocendi]

Bobby momentarily puts his book down on the counter beside the stove and grabs the phone. He cradles in between his shoulder and cheek before picking the book up again. He's multi-multi-tasking: cooking, reading, and now phoning. "Hello?" he asks, partially paying attention.

[mabofwinterdark]

There's a pause while she tries to decide which of a dozen things to say first. She could start with an accusation or telling him she's not coming. But that's not what she needs to say to one of the few people who might understand. He chose wrong but he's her only choice on this. "Annika ran away to Ada and wants to stay with them." Frustration and pain and sorrow come out in her voice. They both picked her. And maybe it was the right choice this time.

[animus_nocendi]

He puts the book down again and his hand stops stirring what he had on the stove. "The hell?" he asks. He leaves for a few days and all hell breaks loose. "...why?" he added with more of an accusative tone.

[mabofwinterdark]

"She said because you left but blames me for letting you." She rubs her face and considers hanging up for one brief and glorious moment. It'd be washing her hands of him and Annika both. No more rejection or accusation. No more competing with ghosts. But she doesn't. "I'm letting her stay with Ada until next weekend, but she has to call me each day. I think I scared the shit out of Annika and I know I'm going to file a complaint against Ada with the police."

[animus_nocendi]

"Okay," he says, taking in everything she told him. "What do you want from me?" he asks after a moment. It's a legitimate question with no hidden accusations; he genuinely wants to know. Mab has his full attention as he flicks the stove off and goes to sit at his small kitchen table.

[mabofwinterdark]

There's the sound of a deep breath. It feels like a trap even knowing he doesn't mean it like that. But she knows better than to trust her own wants to actually matter when Ada's involved. "I'm not going to ask you to talk to Ada again." Raw as the words make her feel, she keeps her voice level, without accusation. "So I don't know. I really don't." For just a moment she sounds like a lost little girl before returning to her competent sounding self. "But you're her dad and you deserve to know what's going on."

[animus_nocendi]

"She'll do exactly what you told her to do. Don't worry," he says and then pauses, thinking. After what seems like a really long time, he says, "And Ada won't hurt her." He traces invisible patterns in the Formica table top.

[mabofwinterdark]

There's a long near silence. Just the sound of her breathing. "I could have. Earlier, I could have. I didn't. I won't. But I could have." Another pause filled with nothing but breath. "I don't have it in me to be kind and understanding and caring right now, Bobby. I'm hitting a wall and...I'm scared of what I'm going to do when the next big disaster demands I step up and give what I don't have. I...feel like I've been missing some important piece of myself and have only just felt it's loss." In their kitchen she slides down to sit on the floor. "I don't know what to do."

[animus_nocendi]

He listens to every word she says, thinking, trying to find the right answer for her. He doesn't have it. He's horrible in these kinds of situations; his lack of empathy completely hindering his ability to help her or to say anything constructive even. So he says what he hopes will help diffuse the situation. "After Annika leaves Ada's, she can come stay with me. Then you won't have to worry about her. One less ill-behaved child in your way." He has absolutely no clue if that's even close to helpful.

[mabofwinterdark]

She looks at the floor. It's not what she wants to hear from him, but she doesn't expect him to do anything for her with this. The point was to say it to someone and get it out of her head. To clear some of the sickness out of her head and her heart. To get to a point where she can say one of the most hateful things that ever had to come out of her mouth. "Do you...do you think that it might be better for her to stay with Ada?" It's clear from her tone of voice it's not what she wants, but it has to be asked.

[animus_nocendi]

"Not really, no," he answers after a brief pause to think, "I think...maybe she should visit Ada more often, but I don't trust her entirely. But clearly she needs to see Ada."

[mabofwinterdark]

Another pause in which she gets a handle on the loathing she feels toward Ada. "Because she needs to be able to run away from home to er mother who can make it easy because she doesn't have to be there through the difficult parts." She can't keep the frustration out of her voice. She contemplates killing the woman for the thousandth time and just can't come up with a way to hide her involvement from both Bobby and Annika.

[animus_nocendi]

"Fine. What do you want me to say? She can't see Ada ever at all," he snapped back, his own frustration starting to creep into his tone. In his mind, it had nothing to do with Ada and everything with choosing the option that be best for the kid. He figured letting Annika see her mother once a week or so would act like a pressure-release valve on a lot of the trouble. But apparently not.

[mabofwinterdark]

The snap has her pulling back further. If they were face to face, she'd walk away, but they're not. So she has to stay on the line. "I'm feeling backed into a corner." She says it levelly because the next time he snaps at her she will hang up. "Andy didn't matter. Ada does. Because I know what you'd both choose. You couldn't tell her to back off when I was pregnant. I know you wouldn't now. So the choice is either to tell her to fuck off myself and end up with an unhappy kid who hates me or have her around constantly." Neither was acceptable, but they all know which sacrifice is going to be made.

[animus_nocendi]

"You know what, just do whatever you want. Either way, I'm going to end up with someone mad at me, so I don't care anymore," he answered. He's still annoyed, but being honest. She felt like she was backed into a corner but he felt like she was pushing him into his own particularly dark, out of the way corner. And he'd rather have Annika mad at him than Mab.

[mabofwinterdark]

She sighs into the phone, rubbing her temple. Her voice isn't angry, just tired. "So you get to wash your hands of it and decide I'm going to be angry. Like it or not, this was me trying to tell you what was going on in my head. I seem to remember you trying to get me to do that more than once. My mistake. You said you think she should see Ada. Annika wants to see Ada. Ada suddenly wants to see Annika. So she sees Ada. I can be an adult." She pulls herself off the floor and goes to the refrigerator, poking through it halfheartedly for something they probably stopped making a hundred years ago.