I haven't written in this journal for a while...
Today is going ok so far, I read the funniest story this morning! I think I will copy and paste it onto this entry...:
Subject: Chemistry Exam
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The
answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats
when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which
souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls
are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more
than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that
all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls
are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day
in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary
of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A
I just thought this was soo funny, I ended up emailing it to a whole bunch of people here at work! Anway, hopefully the day continues on this path!
Subject: Chemistry Exam
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The
answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats
when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which
souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls
are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more
than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that
all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls
are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day
in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary
of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A
I just thought this was soo funny, I ended up emailing it to a whole bunch of people here at work! Anway, hopefully the day continues on this path!