(no subject)
i turned 19
yay
thank you for calling if you did
if you didnt, and you are supposed to be my best friend through everything, then fuck you.... because I know you know my bday.... and it would have made it nicer if you had called...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
maybe past remnants of goood times mixed with bad experiences is just not enough to keep a friendship going when the other party is a fuckin stoner that lives for weed and big gatherings of her "friends" that dont seem much liek friends and dont care about her like I do...
oh the troubles of being a girl in a friendship... with you
naybe you dont care anymore becasue of how i was back then
ive paid my debts... fixed my black hearted sins donpe to you in drug-induced days in which all my undertakings were based around putting something in my body
maybe i shouldnt be mad that you are doing it now, but its not now, it is still, and still is way to long...
i thought we were supposed to grow up. move on. get over those little vices that hid the pain and angst of being rich, spolied teenage girls with screwed up pasts and a lack of trust for men.
maybe i font understand, maybe i am not better neway... maybe not drugs anymore and something else...
being fixed is impossible, isnt it? if it is broken before, it can not be fixed without some remaining evidence of past abuse... and if it is replaced, it is not the same, and I am the same... so am i fixed... i dont know... maybe jsut more socially acceptable in my endeavors to create divine meaning to everything around me.... maybe I am just better at making things appear okay in a baskin robbins 31 flavors of a world that we live in, but somehow, i still think im growing and you are being left behind and i never wanted to leave you behind.... you of all people were supposed to be with me in teh attempt to rectify wrongs and rights and pleasuers adn expirences that soured from the world.... si this all to dramatic?
can anythign be too dramatic?
in a world were television braodcasts news stories abotu unspeakable horrors and every single breathing thing is being affected by negativity from every direction, can a 19 year old girl be too dramatic? to emotional?
i dont know
and i dont know where this is going
but you wont read this, why would you, im nothign to you but a charity case because I am not cool enough fro you anymore.... a little to out there, a little too lost, a little too different, and a little too much of the same old thing....
but I love you.
oh, i do love you
the understanding
the defying of gravity into a world were we could not think about anythign that causes pain... oh ...
I AM SO SORRY I LEFT YOU BEHIND!
yay
thank you for calling if you did
if you didnt, and you are supposed to be my best friend through everything, then fuck you.... because I know you know my bday.... and it would have made it nicer if you had called...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
maybe past remnants of goood times mixed with bad experiences is just not enough to keep a friendship going when the other party is a fuckin stoner that lives for weed and big gatherings of her "friends" that dont seem much liek friends and dont care about her like I do...
oh the troubles of being a girl in a friendship... with you
naybe you dont care anymore becasue of how i was back then
ive paid my debts... fixed my black hearted sins donpe to you in drug-induced days in which all my undertakings were based around putting something in my body
maybe i shouldnt be mad that you are doing it now, but its not now, it is still, and still is way to long...
i thought we were supposed to grow up. move on. get over those little vices that hid the pain and angst of being rich, spolied teenage girls with screwed up pasts and a lack of trust for men.
maybe i font understand, maybe i am not better neway... maybe not drugs anymore and something else...
being fixed is impossible, isnt it? if it is broken before, it can not be fixed without some remaining evidence of past abuse... and if it is replaced, it is not the same, and I am the same... so am i fixed... i dont know... maybe jsut more socially acceptable in my endeavors to create divine meaning to everything around me.... maybe I am just better at making things appear okay in a baskin robbins 31 flavors of a world that we live in, but somehow, i still think im growing and you are being left behind and i never wanted to leave you behind.... you of all people were supposed to be with me in teh attempt to rectify wrongs and rights and pleasuers adn expirences that soured from the world.... si this all to dramatic?
can anythign be too dramatic?
in a world were television braodcasts news stories abotu unspeakable horrors and every single breathing thing is being affected by negativity from every direction, can a 19 year old girl be too dramatic? to emotional?
i dont know
and i dont know where this is going
but you wont read this, why would you, im nothign to you but a charity case because I am not cool enough fro you anymore.... a little to out there, a little too lost, a little too different, and a little too much of the same old thing....
but I love you.
oh, i do love you
the understanding
the defying of gravity into a world were we could not think about anythign that causes pain... oh ...
I AM SO SORRY I LEFT YOU BEHIND!