comment_fic of the day
myinkyfingers asked for "SG1, Jack/Daniel, "It wasn't me, but I remember everything..."
and i LOVE AMTDI stories - i think you all know that.
So, without further ado
Jack/Daniel, NC 17, "It wasn't me, but I remember everything..."
Daniel woke up covered in sweat and achingly hard. Again. No matter what he did when he was awake, the moment he closed his eyes the images assailed him. Long nights on a hot, humid planet, breathing his lover’s breath and shivering despite the heat. Erotic images flashed through his sleeping mind, heating his blood and making him harder than he could ever remember being. He remembered the feel of callused fingers on his sweaty skin, thin lips dragging across his naked chest, three-day stubble catching on his own.
He hated himself for it as he wrapped his hand around his hard shaft, but he was too far gone not to. Five pumps of his own fist while those images were fresh in his mind and he was coming hard and long, his body contracting and shaking as he let go in pulse after pulse.
It was too early to be up but he didn’t trust himself to go back to sleep. Didn’t trust that the dreams wouldn’t come back again. So he got up and went to the shower to clean the orgasm and the dream and the sweat and the shame from himself.
Three gallons of coffee and five reports later, Daniel went into the office early. He smelled the coffee in his own office as he came down the hall.
Jack was in early too, stealing The Good Coffee from Daniel’s office. They looked at each other and stopped, frozen in tableaux except for the creeping blush on both of their necks.
“Morning,” Daniel managed.
“Yeah. Coffee?” Jack picked up the pot like a peace offering.
Daniel picked up his favorite mug and held it out. He hated himself for the small gasp of breath when Jack’s fingers slid across his own.
Callused fingers catching on his sweaty flesh, drawing out an agonizing moan as he fought against the rising tide of needwanttake that was crashing over him.
“I should get going,” Jack said suddenly.
Daniel holed up in his office for the entire day. When Sam brought him lunch he was both grateful and bitchy. He didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t want to think about it. And Sam sitting across from him, being sympathetic and touchy-feely, neither of which was her forte, did not help anything. It was true, she was probably the only one who could really understand, but she was so far from being able to really understand as to make it laughable.
He worked through until well after seven, when the halls had quieted of the day shift scientists and only the late shift military and medical were wandering the halls until SG-12 came back in a few hours. He grabbed his jacket and bolted for the safety of his home.
But somehow on the way home, the wheel of his car turned and he found himself pulling not into his parking space, but into Jack’s driveway. He turned off the engine and just sat there, trying to dissect why he was here; trying to figure out what the hell his subconscious mind had been doing when it had brought him here of all places.
He had finally decided that this was just insane and maybe he should ask Janet to okay some personal time for him. He had his hand on the key when there was a knock on the window.
It was Jack.
Daniel pulled the keys from the ignition and got out of the car.
“You doin’ alright?” Jack asked.
Daniel sighed. “No,” he said honestly.
Jack buried his hands in his pockets and looked uncomfortable, but he jerked his head in the direction of the door and lead the way in.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” Daniel blurted as soon as they were inside with the door closed. “I thought that I could, and I know that I talked you into it, and maybe I shouldn’t have - in fact I know that I shouldn’t have - but we had to, there wasn’t really a choice and - and - I’m sorry. OK? There, I said it. I- I- I’ve ruined our friendship and I’m sorry. I’m just so sorry.”
Jack’s eyebrows were up, his lips were pursed with that no-seriously-keep-digging-you’ll-get-out-of-that-hole look.
Daniel stood in the foyer, panting, now that he’d said it all out loud he felt like an idiot. And Jack giving him that look didn’t help anything.
“It was a bad situation,” Jack said at last.
“I know that. You think I don’t know that?”
Jack took a deep breath and tried again. “They’re our allies. And sometimes the military has to get into bed -“ He stopped himself. “Bad choice of words. I don’t know what you want me to say, Daniel.”
“I know… I know that it wasn’t… you know, it wasn’t us.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“It wasn’t me, but I remember everything… everything, Jack. And I keep trying to put it out of my mind, I swear I do, but… but then I go to sleep.”
Jack winced. He tried to hide it, but Daniel saw it and Jack knew it. “We’ll just… I don’t know, we’ll take a break or something. Take some time, tell Hammond that there are some after effects of the blendings. I’ll go fishing. You’ll go… to the library.”
“Thanks,” Daniel said, even though his tone actually said bite me.
“We’ll get over this. We’ll be fine.”
“What if we’re not?”
Jack didn’t have an answer to that. “You wanna beer?”
Daniel found himself nodding even though he knew that he should be leaving. He was taking off his jacket when he should be getting back in his car. About the time he should be getting back on the highway, he was standing in the kitchen doorway admiring the way Jack moved. And when he should have been nearing the gas station with the really terrible coffee but the doughnuts that Jack liked, he was moving over to Jack, turning his best friend in his arms and pressing their lips together.
He hadn’t planned it, in fact it was exactly the opposite of what he should be doing. This was stupid. This was dangerous. This was going to kill their friendship. This was not what he wanted. Except that Jack was kissing him back and it was the only thing he wanted.
And as they made their way to Jack’s bedroom, as they tore their clothes off and kissed and bit and licked and scratched and fought for dominance, they were both amazed at how much better this was than the sketchy memories from when they were blended. Those memories, that had seemed so real before, were now proven to be a watercolor proof of a vibrant oil painting. It was sharper, deeper, richer.
The calluses were the same, but the way they moved over him, the way they touched him, that was all new. This wasn’t a Tok’Ra. This was Jack. Jack who knew him and who loved him and who was the most important person in his universe. Jack was the one whose weight was pressing him into the mattress, Jack’s mouth teasing his nipples and driving him crazy, Jack’s eyes staring up at him with wonder.
And when Jack slid into his body, the burn was nothing to the pleasure. They moved together slowly, making love gently, paying attention to every sigh, every moan, every stutter of breath.
They moved from gentle to frantic and couldn’t contain themselves. Daniel wrapped his thighs around Jack’s hips and pulled him into his body harder and faster. Jack was cursing, his lips pressed against Daniel’s throat. He bit savagely into the soft flesh of Daniel’s shoulder and came long and hard with a guttural sound. He pulled Daniel so tightly against him and pistoned so hard into him that Daniel was lost to orgasm too.
They laid together, sweaty, sated and panicing.
Finally Daniel spoke up. “I could come fishing with you.”
He felt Jack smile against the bruising skin where Jack had so savagely bitten him. “Sweet.”
ok, and now that the bunny is asleep, i'm going to bed too. g'night flist.
and i LOVE AMTDI stories - i think you all know that.
So, without further ado
Jack/Daniel, NC 17, "It wasn't me, but I remember everything..."
Daniel woke up covered in sweat and achingly hard. Again. No matter what he did when he was awake, the moment he closed his eyes the images assailed him. Long nights on a hot, humid planet, breathing his lover’s breath and shivering despite the heat. Erotic images flashed through his sleeping mind, heating his blood and making him harder than he could ever remember being. He remembered the feel of callused fingers on his sweaty skin, thin lips dragging across his naked chest, three-day stubble catching on his own.
He hated himself for it as he wrapped his hand around his hard shaft, but he was too far gone not to. Five pumps of his own fist while those images were fresh in his mind and he was coming hard and long, his body contracting and shaking as he let go in pulse after pulse.
It was too early to be up but he didn’t trust himself to go back to sleep. Didn’t trust that the dreams wouldn’t come back again. So he got up and went to the shower to clean the orgasm and the dream and the sweat and the shame from himself.
Three gallons of coffee and five reports later, Daniel went into the office early. He smelled the coffee in his own office as he came down the hall.
Jack was in early too, stealing The Good Coffee from Daniel’s office. They looked at each other and stopped, frozen in tableaux except for the creeping blush on both of their necks.
“Morning,” Daniel managed.
“Yeah. Coffee?” Jack picked up the pot like a peace offering.
Daniel picked up his favorite mug and held it out. He hated himself for the small gasp of breath when Jack’s fingers slid across his own.
Callused fingers catching on his sweaty flesh, drawing out an agonizing moan as he fought against the rising tide of needwanttake that was crashing over him.
“I should get going,” Jack said suddenly.
Daniel holed up in his office for the entire day. When Sam brought him lunch he was both grateful and bitchy. He didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t want to think about it. And Sam sitting across from him, being sympathetic and touchy-feely, neither of which was her forte, did not help anything. It was true, she was probably the only one who could really understand, but she was so far from being able to really understand as to make it laughable.
He worked through until well after seven, when the halls had quieted of the day shift scientists and only the late shift military and medical were wandering the halls until SG-12 came back in a few hours. He grabbed his jacket and bolted for the safety of his home.
But somehow on the way home, the wheel of his car turned and he found himself pulling not into his parking space, but into Jack’s driveway. He turned off the engine and just sat there, trying to dissect why he was here; trying to figure out what the hell his subconscious mind had been doing when it had brought him here of all places.
He had finally decided that this was just insane and maybe he should ask Janet to okay some personal time for him. He had his hand on the key when there was a knock on the window.
It was Jack.
Daniel pulled the keys from the ignition and got out of the car.
“You doin’ alright?” Jack asked.
Daniel sighed. “No,” he said honestly.
Jack buried his hands in his pockets and looked uncomfortable, but he jerked his head in the direction of the door and lead the way in.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” Daniel blurted as soon as they were inside with the door closed. “I thought that I could, and I know that I talked you into it, and maybe I shouldn’t have - in fact I know that I shouldn’t have - but we had to, there wasn’t really a choice and - and - I’m sorry. OK? There, I said it. I- I- I’ve ruined our friendship and I’m sorry. I’m just so sorry.”
Jack’s eyebrows were up, his lips were pursed with that no-seriously-keep-digging-you’ll-get-out-of-that-hole look.
Daniel stood in the foyer, panting, now that he’d said it all out loud he felt like an idiot. And Jack giving him that look didn’t help anything.
“It was a bad situation,” Jack said at last.
“I know that. You think I don’t know that?”
Jack took a deep breath and tried again. “They’re our allies. And sometimes the military has to get into bed -“ He stopped himself. “Bad choice of words. I don’t know what you want me to say, Daniel.”
“I know… I know that it wasn’t… you know, it wasn’t us.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“It wasn’t me, but I remember everything… everything, Jack. And I keep trying to put it out of my mind, I swear I do, but… but then I go to sleep.”
Jack winced. He tried to hide it, but Daniel saw it and Jack knew it. “We’ll just… I don’t know, we’ll take a break or something. Take some time, tell Hammond that there are some after effects of the blendings. I’ll go fishing. You’ll go… to the library.”
“Thanks,” Daniel said, even though his tone actually said bite me.
“We’ll get over this. We’ll be fine.”
“What if we’re not?”
Jack didn’t have an answer to that. “You wanna beer?”
Daniel found himself nodding even though he knew that he should be leaving. He was taking off his jacket when he should be getting back in his car. About the time he should be getting back on the highway, he was standing in the kitchen doorway admiring the way Jack moved. And when he should have been nearing the gas station with the really terrible coffee but the doughnuts that Jack liked, he was moving over to Jack, turning his best friend in his arms and pressing their lips together.
He hadn’t planned it, in fact it was exactly the opposite of what he should be doing. This was stupid. This was dangerous. This was going to kill their friendship. This was not what he wanted. Except that Jack was kissing him back and it was the only thing he wanted.
And as they made their way to Jack’s bedroom, as they tore their clothes off and kissed and bit and licked and scratched and fought for dominance, they were both amazed at how much better this was than the sketchy memories from when they were blended. Those memories, that had seemed so real before, were now proven to be a watercolor proof of a vibrant oil painting. It was sharper, deeper, richer.
The calluses were the same, but the way they moved over him, the way they touched him, that was all new. This wasn’t a Tok’Ra. This was Jack. Jack who knew him and who loved him and who was the most important person in his universe. Jack was the one whose weight was pressing him into the mattress, Jack’s mouth teasing his nipples and driving him crazy, Jack’s eyes staring up at him with wonder.
And when Jack slid into his body, the burn was nothing to the pleasure. They moved together slowly, making love gently, paying attention to every sigh, every moan, every stutter of breath.
They moved from gentle to frantic and couldn’t contain themselves. Daniel wrapped his thighs around Jack’s hips and pulled him into his body harder and faster. Jack was cursing, his lips pressed against Daniel’s throat. He bit savagely into the soft flesh of Daniel’s shoulder and came long and hard with a guttural sound. He pulled Daniel so tightly against him and pistoned so hard into him that Daniel was lost to orgasm too.
They laid together, sweaty, sated and panicing.
Finally Daniel spoke up. “I could come fishing with you.”
He felt Jack smile against the bruising skin where Jack had so savagely bitten him. “Sweet.”
ok, and now that the bunny is asleep, i'm going to bed too. g'night flist.