talk is cheap
i am a mix of emotions right now.
i was going to start putting together the binder of Brian stuff and i just couldn't. i dont know when i'll be able to do that. or when i can respond to all the cards that people wrote me during that time. its too hard to even read them or think about what to write back. its almost been two years, but i just cant yet..
i have really random shit on my mind. listening to incubus right now makes me really dislike you. i could use ur name i suppose because u never read this. and we never talk. but i wont. i dont ever see us being friends again and as much as i dislike you it still hurts me. we went through so much and grew up together and the fact you just throw it away after 'caring' about me so much pisses me off. what the hell did you ever want from me? you werent ever happy with me.. it seems like i was always doing something wrong but you were too stubborn to ever say what until it was too late. yet at the same time you never felt anyone was ever good enough for me. you did all the things i thought i wanted someone to do for me.. but in the end i feel like there wasnt any real emotion behind it... or if there was why is it that you cant talk to me now? i dont want anything but to be your friend but that wasnt ever good enough for you.. and i can understand that at one point if was because you wanted more than that and for awhile i thought i did too.. but why isnt that good enough for you now..?
i was going to start putting together the binder of Brian stuff and i just couldn't. i dont know when i'll be able to do that. or when i can respond to all the cards that people wrote me during that time. its too hard to even read them or think about what to write back. its almost been two years, but i just cant yet..
i have really random shit on my mind. listening to incubus right now makes me really dislike you. i could use ur name i suppose because u never read this. and we never talk. but i wont. i dont ever see us being friends again and as much as i dislike you it still hurts me. we went through so much and grew up together and the fact you just throw it away after 'caring' about me so much pisses me off. what the hell did you ever want from me? you werent ever happy with me.. it seems like i was always doing something wrong but you were too stubborn to ever say what until it was too late. yet at the same time you never felt anyone was ever good enough for me. you did all the things i thought i wanted someone to do for me.. but in the end i feel like there wasnt any real emotion behind it... or if there was why is it that you cant talk to me now? i dont want anything but to be your friend but that wasnt ever good enough for you.. and i can understand that at one point if was because you wanted more than that and for awhile i thought i did too.. but why isnt that good enough for you now..?