Almost....
I remember when I was in college, most of my classes were at the 5th floor of our building..... Most of my classrooms were facing the famous hotel, Marco Polo of Davao.....From my seat I can count how many rooms are lighted and often, I would wonder, what people from those rooms does for a living and where they came from..... I thought, most must be the rich and the famous or mnga foreigners..... Obviously, ordinary creatures like me, won't be able to afford their rates. I don't even think I can afford a sip of their coffee, matulog pa kaya sa mnga kuarto nila.... that's why, I always thought and wondered who these guys were.....Sometimes nga na aaninag ko pa yung mnga shadows sa mnga bintana.... Those kept me busy and awake in school heheheh....
Pero maliban sa Marco Polo, kitang kita rin sa floor namin ang mnga christmas decors ng kalsada ng Davao pag malapit na ang pasko..... I would know its almost christmas when the streets are extra brightly lit, and the air is a bit chilly.... Pero, it so weird na, in spite of the merry feeling the christmas was supposed to convey to me, or what it is supposed to program me to feel, basta alam kong malapit na ang pasko I get really sad.... This is the exact feeling I get when it starts raining...... basta nalulungkot na lng ako ng bigla.....
I suddenly remember Marie who is far. The year that is about to pass, the people I have failed and even the things that I would soon miss.....It's like sa sobrang sarap, I get choked with its sweetness.... that's how christmas is to me... Pero as I write this blog, I slowly realized that the reason why I get malancholic during christmas is because I am more scared of the new year to come..... I am fazed na maybe, life would not be as good or maybe it will no longer be as beautiful..... Tama, yun nga ang dahilan...... Hinde pala lungkot ang nadarama ko kung hinde, takot sa bukas.....
All my life, God has blessed me with a life that is more than what I deserve. All my life, He had been patient with all my shortcomings. I was blessed early with a husband who would love and understand me.... I was born with parents who would accept me unconditionally. I was given a sister who will provide me what I do not have and do not know..... and more so, I was given a new family thru my husband's family another kind of world which I would learn to enjoy and embrace as well...... Am I not lucky?...... Certainly I am, I will say that without bashing an eyelash.
Have you ever watched Maging Sino ka Man? Well, that's a tv series where the plot is like the bida got amnesia and was cradled by Eli who fell in love with him, but due to a fire sa market fell and hit her head again so got back her old memory but forgot all about Eli and the good life she temporarily had with this people......
Ako, di katulad ni Jakie ng Maging Sino ka man, sa mnga alaala ko, my past are all vividly remembered..... I still see in my head the things I used to do and I used to go to ten years ago..... I remember the disappointmen when a jeepney would deny me a ride just cause our place was not at the main street..... I remember the rumble in my tummy when I get home and there's no food cause our kasera is already closed and got home late..... I remember all of those..... And up to now, I enjoy looking back at them.... Para silang mnga lumang pelikula na masarap alalahaning ulit pag walang ibang maisip and magawa....
I say this because, today its December 20 and it's 5 days from Christmas..... Konting tulog na lng New year na..... Sana maging kasing bait ng 2006 ang buhay sa 2007.... Maraming sugat man ang naksakit sa akin sa taong ito, tahasan ko pa ring sasabihin na naging masuerte ako sa taong eto..... Sinuerte ako kasi hangang ngayon buhay pa ako..... May konting problema sa kalusugan pero masigla pa rin. Masuerte ako kasi maligaya ang buo kong pamilya..... Pero higit sa lahat sasabihin kong masuerte ako dahil na tutunan kong tingnan sa positibong paraan ang lahat ng kakulangan ng buhay nuong 2006. Alam kong hinde eto gaano kadaling magawa.... Mas masarap maging mapaghanap kesa sa makunteto yan ang katunayan sa mnga taong tulad nating wlang ka busogan.... Kaya congrats....
Huhuuuummmm ang gulo ko no..... Well since I can't articulate my thoughts, might as well go to bed and catch a sleep.... Baka sakali pag gising ko, alam ko na kung ano ang gusto kong sabihin....