Beetlebutt And Fern's Amazing Adventure
Once Beetlebutt and Fern, two friends,
Went to a fairy ball;
And one was fancifully dressed,
The other, not at all.
Was Beetlebutt all silk and tweed,
And Fern forgot his sleeves;
Had Beetlebutt a pipe of reed,
Fern had a hat of leaves.
The fairy guard was keen in eyes,
He stopped them on the spot.
“The sight of you could sour pies,
You miserable lot!”.
“Good sir, of pies we have no need,
We've only come to please”.
Showed Beetlebutt his pipe of reed,
Fern tipped his hat of leaves:
“I'll lead you all a merry dance
To Beetlebutt's gay tune”.
“Some artists! You shall have one chance -
To patience, I'm immune!”.
And thus, the wild spirit free'd,
They sprang like barmy eels;
Piped Beetlebutt his pipe of reed,
Fern tossed his hat of leaves.
So sweet the piping music was,
As of a calving cow;
The guard was standing way too close,
He clasped his tender brow;
The ball came to a halt at speed,
And who could challenge these?
Bellowed and whined the pipe of reed,
Fern torn his hat of leaves!
Wider and wilder went the prance,
The fairies stunned and pale,
As Fern was squashing scones and tarts
And splashing all the ale!
So Fern went whirling on and on,
No rhyme or reason anymore;
Smashed Beetlebutt his pipe of reed -
It followed Fern's ex-hat of leaves!..
'Twas then the fairies came around,
All searching for the horrid pair;
Yet Beetlebutt could not be found,
And Fern was seen nowhere.
“Hey Fern, your feet are stuck in pies”
“Hey Beetlebutt, call me a thief?!”
So Fern had to get rid o'th' pies,
And Beetlebutt had to leave!