But now I have her(7/7)
60 minutes
I have always loved the hour before the show. That's when everyone is nervous. No one is nervous a minute before they go on. Everyone shows the way they cope with the nervousness an hour before the show. Jon talks a lot compared to his normally quiet nature; Jon really only talks when spoken too. Spencer drums on his thighs with them bouncing up and down, for a drummer I'm guessing that's pretty normal.
Brendon doesn't change his personality or antics when he's nervous, it’s just intensified. He talks ten times more, dances around a lot and drinks more red bull then I have ever seen. I’m usually very shocked that he doesn't pass out from his high sugar level on stage. Tonight though, he's different. He's in the corner of the rather large dressing room talking very quietly with Shane, which is strange in itself.
50 minutes
Jon gets up and sits next to Spencer and grabs his hands to stop the drumming. Spencer's whole face relaxes and he doesn't look so tense anymore. I feel an instantaneous pierce of jealousy. I remember a time when Brendon could sit next to me and stop the feeling of having the desire of a cigarette. Now I'm at about a pack a day and I want my Brendon back.
Shane was looking at me and smiled mischievously and turned back to look at Brendon. I was a little put off, I mean didn't they bring Shane in to help me and not to be all secretive with Brendon? Damn Brendon, just thinking about him gets the butterflies in my stomach in a frenzy.
40 minutes
Spencer and Jon come over and sit down next to me. I looked at both of them and they two both had smiles on their faces. Everyone was in on a secret, all but me. Usually I would be demanding that I know what was going on but, I just didn't care. I was still busy thinking about how Brendon was going to prove to me that he loved me.
“I want you to know Ryan, that I wont ever let him hurt you again,” Spencer murmured from my right.
“So you do know what's going on.”
“Of course. Brendon asked me before he told anyone else what he was going to do. Before you ask me what, don't bother because there is no way in hell that I'm telling you.”
I sighed. “Whatever.” Spencer laughed and kissed the side of my head. I made a face that I don't think anyone saw and continued to sulk in my little corner.
30 minutes
With 30 minutes until the show, I realized that I was not dressed yet and had no make-up on. I sighed to myself and got up. Everyone in the room looked up, and I felt so insecure at the moment that I almost sat back down.
I quickly got over the feeling of everyone staring at me and walked over to the closet were it held the disgusting outfit that hasn't been washed in god knows how long. I pulled the gray t-shirt I originally had on off and20tossed that somewhere on the floor and pulled over the white button down shirt, then slipped the rose vest. I decided that my black skinny jeans were good enough and kept those on.
At the make-up counter I was looking at all the assorted colors of eyeliners. I couldn't decide on what to do. A pair of arms wrapped around my neck, shot all my thoughts out the door.
“I like the birds,” Brendon said.
“Do you?”
“I do.” His arms came undone and in the mirror I could see him sitting on the couch, drumming a beat on his legs.
I took liquid black eyeliner and proceeded to draw three black birds near my eyes. The whole time I tried to avoid Brendon's smirking glance.
20 minutes
I heard the door open and saw Will walk in. He was smiling, and for a split second I thought he knew the secret too. I knew that smile too well, and automatically knew that he did not know the secret, and I was grateful that someone was as clueless as I.
“Who did you fuck?” I asked him.
“I didn't fuck anyone, I made love to someone.”
“So, Gabe broke up with his girlfriend?” I asked with a smirk.
Will stuck his tongue out at me. “Yes.”
I spun around on the chair so that I was facing him. “Awesome, I`m happy for you.”
He smiled again, said goodbye and walked out the door. I spun back around and finished the eyeliner on my left eye. I looked at my reflection, I looked lost. All I want is to be loved, by the boy who can't show his feelings to the world.
10 minutes
Everyone was running around getting ready for the show, but I still sat there staring at my reflection. I was watching the chaos behind me and wondered when the world left me. As emo as it sounds, I feel invisible.
Spencer and Jon were on the couch heavily making out with each other, as they do every night before the show. Shane was working on his camera making sure it was all good for our show. I didn't know were Brendon was, but I thought I saw him leave to take a phone call.
I got off the chair and walked out of the dressing room, down the corridor to where the stage was. I was in the wings watching the last minute touches on the set. I heard a giggle behind me. Brendon and Audrey were talking. Audrey had a big smile on her face, and Brendon looked, well Brendon looked very nervous.
I turned my head around and once again felt arms wrapped around my neck. This time the arms belonged to an awesome Jon Walker. I leaned back into him and sighed.
“You trust me right, Ry-ro?”
“Of course Jon.”
“Then believe me when I say everything will be okay.”
I turned around and he had a huge smile plastered on his face as well as everyone else. Was I the only one feeling like shit?
SHOWTIME!
We start off every concert by playing But It's Better If You Do. I feel like it a good song to start with, it gets everyone moving. Plus, watching Brendon get flustered with the lap dancer is almost worth it.
Time to Dance is the next song. My personal favorite song. If you weren't moving by the end of the first song, you were by the end of this one. I loved how everyone sounded on Time to Dance. Brendon, Jon and I seemed to just connect during this song.
I hated our next song though. Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off. Brendon, and his stupid dream sequence. In the beginning I didn't really care, because I had no hope on getting Brendon back, so I let him do what he wanted. I noticed though recently that he lingered a little longer when he went in to kiss me.
“I know you all know what comes next, but I think I want to change it up a little bit, as long as that's okay with the band.” Brendon looked at all of us. Jon and Spencer nodded of course, and what could I do? Say no?
“Good. First off, I have some news that I would like to share.” He paused, waiting for the crowd to quiet a little. “I'm single.”
He shook his head and laughed into the microphone. “I know, I know. Don't blame Audrey, it was all me. I'm already in love with someone.”
My eyes widened, and I'm sure my breathing stopped. “Yeah, I've k ind of been in love for the past year and a half. I was really stupid not to see it, but I was afraid of the reaction I was going to get. I really don't give a fuck anymore.”
Brendon started walking closer to me. He stopped about five feet away. “See everyone, I'm in love with someone in my band.” After the screams he started again. “Spencer and Jon are taken, so it’s obvious to see I'm in love with Ryan Ross.”
“Ryan makes my life complete. Without Ryan in it, I'm basically a puddle on the ground waiting to evaporate.” He turned to me and smiled. “I can't seduce you with big words, or awesome lyrics, but I hope this was enough to prove to you I really love you.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a velvet box. I swear my legs were going to give right underneath me. “If that wasn't enough though, maybe this will be?” He got down on one knee and opened the box. “I love you Ryan Ross, will you marry me?”
I opened my mouth to talk plenty of times, but words never came. I pulled him up off of his knee, slipped the gold band onto my ring finger and kissed him.
I am deeply sorry for the wait, but it took my forever to write this because it sucked every time, two it took me forever to finally get post it because I forgot to check my mail.
On a sad note, it is done. I realized writing a epilogue would ruin this ending and I love this one. Everybody is happy.
This would have never been posted if for not my awesome beta Shannon melody_so_sweet
Please review.