But now I have her (3/?)
It was four in the morning and someone was shaking me awake. I didn't know who it was until I opened my eyes and Brendon was standing above me. The first thought that ran through my head was `OH shit who died?' and then I realized subconsciously I just was hoping it was Audrey.
“What?” I whispered-yelled at him.
“Come with me,” he said walking towards to lounge.
“No,” I told him defiantly.
He sighed loudly,”Ry, I just want to talk. Can we please go outside?” The expression on his face made my heart break.
“Well it's not like I'm going back to asleep,” I mumbled, reaching for my cigarettes. I got up to walk outside. “Lead the way.”
Brendon started walking towards the front of the bus, trying to be quiet as possible because Shane was asleep. He got to the door and opened it, then walked outside. There were two bodies already outside sitting on the ground talking. It was Will and Gabe sitting up against a street lamp talking quietly. I really hoped they were considering getting back together. Gabe would just have to break up with Callie.
“Hey Ryan, and err, Brendon,” Will greeted us.
“Hola! Como esta?” Gabe asked in Spanish, and started laughing.
I looked at Will hoping he knew what Gabe was saying. Will just smiled,. “He asked how you are?”
“OH, oh well tired,” I answered.
“We'll leave you two alone, I was too high to sleep so Gabe took me out here.” I rolled my eyes at the blush creeping onto Will's face.
“Adios,” Gabe said before they walked onto Cobra's bus.
I sat up against the bus, lit my cigarette and inhaled the sweet nicotine. Brendon was standing above me, rocking back and forth, biting his bottom lip. I wasn't going to be the one starting this conversation first. If he wanted to talk, he would have to start.
It was a cool night and I really wish I brought a jacket. The wind was slightly strong, but it was Chicago, why did I expect anything less? It was almost sunrise, the orange glow creeping up, it was the first sunrise I ever witnessed.
“You're not over me.”
“If you brought me out here to point out the obvious and make fun of me, I'm leaving.” I got up to go inside but he pushed me back down.
“No, that's not my plan. I just wanted to tell you don't give up hope.”
“And why not?” I asked.
“I did love you Ryan, I can't really lie to myself anymore about that, even you knew I was lying. I don't know why I started going with Audrey; it was just something that came over me.”
I inhaled my cigarette and blew a long stream of smoke. Obviously I knew he did love me but cheating on me, I just didn't get. I gave Brendon my heart, but I did know what I was getting myself into. I knew he had this loving problem, but I really thought I was different.
The sun was rising and it never failed to amaze me in beauty. I finished my cigarette, and lit another one which earned a sigh from Brendon, which got a smile from me. I suppose Brendon was waiting for a response but, I kind of like seeing him antsy, it may have turned me on the slightest. I mean Brendon was standing there biting his bottom lip and shifting from foot to foot, he looked so awkward. I have a thing for the awkward type.
I turned my head upwards to at him. He was looking down at me expectantly. Unfortunately for him I knew how to fuck with him. Words were never Brendon's strong suit, and I played my words like a fucking fiddle. So with a cocky grin on my face I started talking.
“Well what do you look forward to me saying? It's okay and all is forgiven? Brendon you broke my heart, and you cannot really expect me to accept as true that you thought a simple little run of the mill clarification would make it better. I hate everything about the situation. I hate how she gets to fall asleep next to you, how she gets to kiss you, and touch you. I want that,” I said to him.
He didn't answer, instead he came over and sat down next to me. Usually he avoided coming near me when I smoked, so this was new. I had a feeling this was going to take awhile before Brendon understood clearly what I meant. There was the one meaning where I was jealous of Audrey, but the under meaning, I'm not sure if he was going to understand that.
“Then have it.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“For someone who uses words to hide behind, you seem to forget what the easy ones mean,” he said and chuckled.
“Obviously I get what you mean. I guess with who would have been the better question.”
“Well I thought Shane and you. . .” he let his thought trail out.
I took a big inhale of my cigarette. “Shane wasn't my idea.”
“Huh?” He looked so fucking adorable when confused.
“Spencer, Jon, and William want me to get over you so they brought me Shane.”
“They brought you the dude who was fucking the photography teacher, that's fucking epic,” he laughed.
“No they really brought him to make you see.”
“Make me see what?” He furrowed his eyebrows together.
“And what ruin the surprise?” I said getting up.
He was still sitting down and didn't look like he was getting up. “Where are you going?”
“Well unlike you, I don't have energy when first woken up, so I may get coffee, or I'm going back to my bunk,” I stamped my cigarette out, “and if Audrey wakes up, this may not look too good.”
“She wont,” he mumbled.
I sighed, “Look Brendon, the way I see it is, you're not over me. You still love me and much rather be with me. If that's true Audrey has to go,” I told him, and then walked into the bus leaving him outside.
I walked back to my bunk forgetting about the coffee and plopped down on my bed. I rolled over onto my side and looked at my phone to get the time, but three text messages were blinking at me. I clicked X on all three and saw it was 5:23. I rolled my eyes and mentally cursed Brendon for waking me, and went back to the texts. Two of the texts were from Will, and one was from Gabe.
Ry-ry whats going on? W<3
Don't get hurt bby W<3
Dude you break his heart this time <3Gabanti
I smiled at the texts and laid my head back on my pillow. I heard Brendon come back in five minutes later and he was walking into the bunk area. He was just standing there doing nothing. I rolled my eyes at him and I don't even know if he saw me, but it felt necessary.
“Christ Brendon go to sleep.”
“I. . .” he sighed and walked off in the back room.
It all clicked for me right then. Every snide comment Brendon has made to me all had the double meaning. He did truly love me and I wasn't bullshitting myself outside when I told him that. I would give him two weeks to get rid of Audrey; I would flirt, and basically throw myself at him, but also be reserved at the same time. I'm winning Brendon Urie's heart back, and if I don't, then there will be a guitar player opening in a band.
SOO sorry for the delay. I had a report due on Ariminta Ross. First person to tell me what that is get something. I don't know what, but something. Anyway I love writing this story, its fun. Reviews are lovely.