Long ago there was an angel. The most sublime of his kind. So much so that he was sometimes called Morning Star. Despite his standing, he was still, of course, considered inferior to the one that created him. This angel decided that it was "better to reign in hell, than serve in heaven" and managed to turn fellow angels against the very being they
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As for your second example, refusing to obey orders of genocide (are you alluding to Dogma because I <3 that movie) again, that is making it seems as though Angels and Humans are alike in the way they think. Also, in the case of Dogma, I'm pretty sure the problem was flipping God off.
Basically, for me a "Fallen Angel" is dark and an Angel put on earth to have a lover or because they disagreed with God is just...a former angel turned human.
We turn Angels into human figures, which they are not, and therefore we make it seem as though our thought process about God's actions are the same as their own. If they are on such a level with God, then they know his action and the reasons for them on a level that we humans can only speculate.
But that is just my opinion on the topic.
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Too many people assume that humanoid=human, which is not the case and it would actually make a story more interesting if they made those leaps.
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