Fic: The Great Random Xander Story - Iteration One (11a/?)
Yes, despite the fact that he's in maybe 20% of this story, this is still the Great Random Xander Story. Also, we're still in semi-NSFW territory, although most of that is just people talking about sexy stuff rather than actually doing sexy stuff. IF one were rating such things, one might call it rated R, but I of course am above such petty ratings and will never admit to such a thing.
Enjoy the every increasing insanity.
I'm doing two installments today, with each being smaller than the average installment. This is because I can't actually fit today's update into a single post (stupid LJ size limits) and I feel that this should all be read as one installment. So consider this Installment 11a and 11b.
I asked all of you out there to submit to me a bunch of ideas for things that could happen or become true for Xander. Then I used a random number generator and the AXIS (Alternate Xander Idea Selector - thanks, learnedhand_dj) to choose three random consecutive episodes and three random ideas, and I wrote a story based on those ideas.
Authors: please feel not only free, but actively encouraged to attempt your own Great Random Xander Story, using the AXIS listed above. I can tell you from personal experience, it's actually kind of fun and a very interesting writing exercise. Writing a story where you know at least two more major changes are coming but you don't know what they are going to be or when they will occur is pretty wacky. Try it out, and be sure to share your results with the rest of us!
This is the first attempt at that story, but will not be the last, so keep submitting your ideas. (We're up to about 130, I believe. New goal is 200!) First chapter and author notes can be found here
On with the story:
Awareness did not come to him slowly. It did not seep into place, gradually forming a fully realized reality. Existence was simply switched on, and he awoke, fully conscious and fully developed. He was innately aware of every part of himself, and when his eyes opened, they were not surprised by what he saw.
His creator, Margaret Walsh. PHDs in Psychology, Biology, and Cybernetics. Forty-nine years old. High blood pressure and perspiration indicated abnormal stress levels.
He looked at her, and she looked down at him.
“Welcome to the world, Adam,” she said, gazing down at him with an expression that he neither understood nor cared to understand.
Red lights flashed and klaxons sounded. His internal database recognized this as a Red Alert. He quickly accessed the base’s computer via the encrypted over-air frequency communicator built into his cortex. In the space of half a second, he witnessed the events of the last three days. Most of it did not interest him, but some of it did.
The girl: Willow Rosenberg.
She was an anomaly. He could not determine a material cause for her capabilities, and he was programmed to determine how to neutralize any potential threat.
The security of the base meant nothing to him, but he was somewhat intrigued by the energy weapons being employed by the three intruders. They too were a possible threat, but that was easily dealt with. He simply had the computer override the locks on all the cell blocks. The vampires and demons -- he was aware that they were not simply HSTs -- would, thanks to the malfunctioning weaponry of the soldiers, manage to create a tremendous amount of havoc. With luck, the intruders would be killed in the melee, and he could retrieve and study their weapons afterwards.
“Now,” Margaret Walsh said, placing a hand on his forehead. “Don’t try to get up too quickly. You’ll probably be disoriented for a--”
Adam reached up and grabbed her by the throat. Her eyes widened and she tried to gasp past his choking grip, but he was much too strong for that. Adam sat up and easily walked to the other side of the lab. He pressed Walsh up against the wall, holding her two feet off the ground. She clawed at his arm and kicked at him, but they were ineffective at best.
“Mommy,” Adam said. He felt a detached sense of humor at all of this. She had created him to be perfect, and yet he knew from his programming that she intended to control him. How could a perfect being be controlled by an inferior one? It was wholly illogical, and thus he had dismissed that programming as faulty. He began to rewrite it as he examined the fear in Walsh’s eyes.
“Intriguing,” he said, turning her face from side to side. “I recall what emotions are, and yet I find they no longer apply to me. I note your desperation, but I do not feel compelled to alter my own behavior as a result.”
He squeezed. Her neck snapped, and she went limp. Shrugging to himself, Adam let the lifeless body drop to the ground. The murder of his creator held no special significance to him. He simply noted it in his logs and timestamped it for his internal records.
Adam ran a simple self-diagnostic, which took only a moment. He noted his current capabilities did not match the specifications he found in the computer or even his internal database. He had been awakened before completion.
That was no matter. He could perform upgrades on himself as easily as his creator had. Already he noted several flaws in her design. She had been planning on equipping him with a bone skewer from a particularly strong HST. He found this to be a poor design decision. It would be much more effective to install a collapsible mini-gun and rocket-propelled-grenade launcher.
That would take time, of course. He needed to prioritize.
First, he would attempt to obtain the Willow Rosenberg girl, and abscond with her to a safer location; preferably one where he could examine her capabilities.
Second, he would attempt to obtain the energy weapons of the intruders.
Third, he would kill all of the inhabitants of the base. His creator had accidentally revealed his existence to Captain Riley Finn. It was entirely possible that the rest of the base was aware of him, and that could not be allowed. While he was much more powerful than any individual soldier, he calculated a very poor chance of survival if the full force of the Initiative came after him.
He would simply have to even the odds, that was all.
Adam turned and exited the lab. He turned immediately to his left and began to make his way down the hallway. When he turned another corner, he was faced with seven soldiers who were trying to hold back a vampire by shooting at it with conventional firearms. They had only a single M-16. The base was not stocked with very many conventional weapons.
Adam snapped the neck of the first, plunged his fist into the chest of the second, and backhanded the third so hard his skull shattered. The vampire was just beginning to react to this with a look of surprise when Adam pulled a combat knife from the belt of one of the dead soldiers and quickly slit the throat of two of the still-living ones. He then plunged the knife into the chest of the third before yanking it out and slamming it into the forehead of the final soldier.
The soldier fell lifelessly to the ground. Adam plucked the rifle from his grasp, then knelt down and picked up a few clips of extra ammunition. He expertly reloaded so he had a full clip, then stood up to look at the vampire.
“What are you?” the vampire -- a blonde woman who had likely been turned in her late teens -- asked.
“I am Adam,” he replied. He was no longer able to access the computer wirelessly now that he was outside of the lab, but his senses were good enough that he cold pinpoint where the biggest battle was taking place. He would go there and kill the soldiers.
“Is there a way out of here?” the vampire asked.
“Yes, several,” Adam said. Then he turned and walked away.
“Hey! Which way do I go?”
He didn’t answer her. Instead, he made his way to an access shaft. He access his database and found the code in eighteen milliseconds, then inputted it into the keypad. The door swung open, and he ducked into the shaft. He crawled exactly sixty-seven-point-eight meters, then exited the shaft. This brought him to what the soldiers referred to as The Pit. It was the largest single open space in the facility, and housed areas for impromptu autopsies, testing grounds for HST capabilities, holding pens, and several elevator shafts to the surface.
Adam surveyed the situation almost immediately. Roughly forty soldiers were scattered around the area, but only three of them had guns. The others were equipped with now-useless blasters. About a third of them were fighting against four escaped Polgara demons, while the others were trying to assault a position on the other side of the pit, where the three intruders had taken cover behind several large metal crates.
Utilizing his perfect knowledge of the layout of the facility, Adam realized they were in a strategically superior position. There was a computer terminal behind those crates. It was unlikely that anyone outside of the Initiative could break into the computer, but it was not impossible. The energy weapons used by the intruders indicated a high level of technical skill.
Adam raised his stolen rifle to the group of soldiers fighting the Polgaras. He pulled the trigger, not bothering to fire in short bursts as was standard protocol. His enhanced reflexes, accuracy, and visual acuity meant he was able to hit eleven of the soldiers in a single burst. Screams and gurgling choking sounds erupted as they fell to the ground, bleeding and dying. The Polgaras looked to Adam for only a moment before they fell upon the survivors, easily overwhelming them.
As he reloaded his rifle, Adam watched as a young blonde woman -- he judged her to be perhaps eighteen to twenty years old -- peeked around the crates and fired off several shots of green sparks. She hit several soldiers with the green sparks. Thanks to his enhanced sensors, Adam was able to determine that the soldiers were having their molecules disassembled. He was not able to determine where those molecules went, however. It was possible they were simple dissipated.
The girl intrigued him. She moved much more quickly and fired with much greater accuracy than any human could have hoped for. He judged her to be possibly as fast, if not faster than himself. That was anomalous.
In the ensuing six milliseconds, Adam decided to create a new file based on the anomalous existence of young women who exhibited ostensibly impossible capabilities. The first was Willow Rosenberg. The second was this blonde woman.
The soldiers split their forces once again, sending more of their number against the rapidly approaching Polgaras. Adam pointed his rifle at them once more, this time firing a few quick bursts that killed another six soldiers. It was then that the soldiers seemed to notice his presence. One of the armed ones shot at him with a nine-millimeter semi-automatic pistol, but his demonic hide and armored exterior meant the bullets had no effect on him. He decided it was best not to take any chances, however, and quickly killed his attacker with a single bullet to the forehead.
With the soldiers being overwhelmed by the Polgaras, Adam turned his full attention to the intruders. He was certain he could move quickly enough to avoid the green sparks the young woman was shooting off. Then it would be a simple matter of killing her and the other two intruders, and then he could acquire their energy weapons. Judging by the compact nature of the weapon the girl held, it would be extremely easy to incorporate it into his design.
Adam moved forward. His internal processor ran nonstop battle calculations as he determined exactly where he should stand and how he should move. The pattern exploited human nature and limitations of thinking to mean he would always be one step ahead of the defenders. There was--
A green spark spat across The Pit and slammed into Adam’s right arm. For a split second, his processor overloaded as he attempted to calculate what was happening to him. A sensation that might have been pain erupted up through his arm, and he dropped to his knees. He watched in fascination as his right arm dissolved away. His cybernetic and human components disassembled in less than half a second, and for a moment he was certain he was about to be completely destroyed. Such a possibility had not occurred to him, and in the impossibly long period of 500 milliseconds, Adam contemplated the nature of his own death.
Then it stopped. His right arm was completely gone, as was a great portion of his shoulder, but the green spark had stopped its disassembly of his body once it spread to the demonic hide of his upper chest. Adam hypothesized almost immediately that his demonic portions were somehow immune to the effect of the disassembly. If he were capable of such a feeling, he would say that he was pleased with such a discovery.
However, that did not put him out of danger. He was more than two-thirds human and cybernetic components, and those had been easily destroyed.
And so, before the young woman could fire off a second shot at him, Adam turned and retreated. He would not risk near-total annihilation on what amounted to his own curiosity. No, he would escape. After all, thanks to his Uranium core, he was effectively immortal. He had plenty of time to find out who the intruders were, acquire their technology, and neutralize them as a potential threat to his existence.
He ran.
Willow gasped for breath as she rounded a corner, but skidded to a halt when she saw five soldiers struggling to contain a single bone-covered demon. She whimpered a little to herself and then threw herself down the opposite hall, hoping that would lead to a way out of the insane world she found herself in.
Everywhere she went she ran into soldiers fighting with demons or vampires, and while it was usually at least five soldiers for every demon, that didn’t seem to matter. The soldiers were almost all unarmed, and they were almost all losing.
She had to find a way out of here. Her chest was burning and her legs were aching from running. Her head was pounding from the really-bad-idea of casting two Hera’s Fury spells in the same day, and she wasn’t sure she could float a feather, let alone anything that could actually be used as a weapon. She was barefoot, bleeding from a spot where a soldier had tried to grab at her arm, and was completely unarmed.
There was nothing else for her to do but run, so that’s what she did. Down corridor after corridor, she tried desperately to find a way out of the maze-like military base. She eventually ran across a few dead soldiers lying in a pool of blood, and had managed to ignore the horror and strong desire to throw up long enough to take one of their knives. She had know idea how to fight with a knife, but it felt better to have some kind of weapon.
After another five minutes of frantic running, Willow turned another corner. She froze at what she saw. The blonde head of a female vampire was pressed against the neck of one of the soldiers. There were six more all around. It looked like they had been shot.
The vampire raised her head and then looked back to Willow. Her mouth was covered in blood, but Willow recognized her all the same.
“Harmony?”
Harmony grinned. “Willow. Is this day great for me, or what? First I get let out of my cell, then that guy kills all these tasty soldiers for me, and now I get to kill you?”
“S-stay back,” Willow said, brandishing the knife. “I know magic.”
Of course, just the thought of casting the most minor of spells made her stomach churn and her head pound, but Harmony didn’t need to know that.
Harmony got to her feet and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Like Willow, she was barefoot, but she was also dressed in what looked like a hospital gown. Her face twisted into the deformed visage that was a vampire’s true demonic self, and she bared her fangs as she grinned at Willow.
“I just hope I don’t catch nerd from you when I eat you,” Harmony said. She sprang at Willow, moving with the kind of speed only a vampire that has freshly-fed could ever manage. Willow screamed and slashed the knife out in front of her. It caught Harmony across the face, slicing diagonally down from her right eye to the left side of her chin.
Harmony slammed into her a moment later and pressed Willow up against the wall. Willow struggled to bring the knife back up, but Harmony easily slapped it away. Willow whimpered as Harmony, her face bleeding profusely, licked up the side of Willow’s neck.
“Mmm, you’re going to taste so good.”
This could not be happening. She could not be killed by Harmony Kendall! It just wasn’t fair!
“This is kind of turning me on,” Harmony whispered into Willow’s ear. “You know I once had a dream about you where you were like, my boyfriend. It was really weird. I gave you a blowjob in my car and then you turned into my mom.”
“Just let me go, please, Harmony.”
“I don’t want to,” Harmony said. “I really want to just hurt you and make you scream. Maybe I’ll make you into one of my minions! Then I could hurt you whenever I want. I’m not gay or anything, but ever since I became a vampire I just loooove hurting people. It’s so hot.”
As if to prove this, she reached out and dug her fingernails into the wound on Willow’s arm. Willow screamed and felt like she might pass out.
“So hot!” Harmony said with a growl, and then gyrated her hips slightly against Willow. She reached her hand up and gripped Willow by the throat. “I just wish I could kill you more than once. It’s going to be so awesome when you just like, die right in front of my eyes. Stupid nerd Willow, and I get to kill her! How awesome is that going to--”
“Leave her alone! She’s sweet and pretty and I feel really guilty at bringing her here!” a voice shouted. A moment later, Harmony was yanked away from Willow. Willow gasped for air and slid down the wall before sitting hard on her butt. She clutched her throat and breathed in as deeply as she could.
Riley Finn stood over her. He had a collapsible baton in one hand and a knife in the other. His blaster was slung over his back, and he was dressed in full combat attire.
“Are you okay?” Riley asked, only half-glancing back at her.
“N-not really,” Willow croaked.
“Just stay there. I’ll protect you. It’s mostly because I feel it’s just the right thing for a guy to do for a girl in trouble, but it’s also because I want to make up for bri--”
Harmony screamed and launched herself at Riley. Willow let out a little shriek as well, but was surprised when Riley moved with enough speed to crack Harmony across the face with the baton. She fell to one side, clutching her face and screaming. Riley quickly followed up with a kick to her midsection that caused Harmony to flop onto her back. He quickly flipped his baton around a pressed a button that caused a wooden point to extend out from the base. He slammed the point down onto Harmony’s chest. She gasped, shot Willow a hateful look, and burst into ash.
Riley let out a steadying breath, and then turned around to offer Willow a hand.
“It’s okay,” he said. “I’m not going to hurt you. I played back the footage of Professor Walsh talking to you. I know what she threatened you with. I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I know ‘I was just following orders’ isn’t good enough, but that’s my only excuse. I’m going to help you get out of here.”
“You are?”
“Yeah. You’re not an HST. I know that. I can get you to one of the emergency access shafts back to the surface.”
Willow took his hand, and he helped her to her feet. “W-what about you?”
“I’m going to try and get my people out of here. Our weapons aren’t working and someone opened the cells. We can’t hope to contain the prisoners right now.” He pulled a walkie-talkie from his vest and brought it to his mouth. “Forrest, it’s Riley, you read?”
“Sort of,” came a reply that was only barely understandable through a spray of static and hissing. “Something’s jamming up comms pretty bad.”
“I know. I got the girl. I’m going to try to get her out. You and Graham okay?”
“Yeah, for now. Lucky for us Graham is a good ol’ boy. Guy had more guns in his quarters than the armory.”
Riley smiled. “Good. Try and secure what you can, but get out if things get bad. Wish we had a self-destruct set up for this place. I don’t like the idea of all these HSTs getting loose.”
“Me neither,” Forrest said. “And I-- oh shit!”
“Forrest? Forrest!?”
There was silent for a few moments. Riley looked to Willow. “I want to tell you he’s probably okay, but I think he’s probably dead.”
Willow swallowed nervously and Riley frowned at her. “Why do I keep telling you things like that? Is it just because I think you’re pretty and would love to go out with you sometime?”
Blushing, Willow stammered out, “Uh, n-no, I just, um, I-I think I got cursed.”
“Cursed?”
“Yeah. I think someone cast a spell on me so that, um, people tell me the truth.”
Riley gave her a skeptical look. “I’m disappointed because I think you’re probably crazy. I was really hoping that by showing you what I good guy I am, you might be interested in dating me. I find you really physically attractive, but if you’re crazy I don’t think I want to date you. Magic isn’t real.”
Willow blushed some more. “Uh, n-no. It is.”
“You’re really cute when you blush,” Riley said, then his eyes widened.“Okay, this really sucks. Soon I’m going to tell you that I masturbate twice a day or that I once kissed a girl who was really a guy when I was drunk at a bar one night, and that I kind of liked it.”
He slapped a hand over his mouth. Muffled by his hand, he said, “Mokay. Mo more malking.”
Willow nodded. “Yeah, th-that might be a good idea.”
He nodded for her to follow him. As they went, one thought penetrated her mind.
Did he really think she was cute?
Xander’s hands flew over the keyboard. It had been almost a year since he last used a conventional computer, and even though this one was tied into a mainframe that was at least ten years ahead of anything on the market, it was like a solar-powered calculator compared to his home system. It was interminably slow, and incredibly easy to break into. He had accessed the core systems and administrative functions in less than a minute, and all while Buffy and Giles provided him with cover fire from their MCD Mark IIs.
He was amazed at all the information he had found. He had become very adept at speed reading, and tended to have a photographic memory for most of what he read, but even still, there was too much for him to absorb at once. From what he could gather, the Initiative was intended to react as a military response to the threat of demons -- HSTs, in the military vernacular -- except that he had managed to find hidden files that suggested they weren’t there simply to neutralize demons. No, they were there to co-opt demons for military purposes. He had seen glimpses of reports mentioning something called ADAM, and if he was right, they were talking about some kind of demon cyborg super soldier. It was crude in comparison to his version of cybernetic enhancement, but he had to admit from the schematics he’d seen that what it lost in elegance it made up for in pure strength and power. Faith’s own cybernetic enhancements were somewhat limited thanks to her Slayer physiology, but with a demonic base, this ADAM could reach untold levels of physical strength and endurance.
As fascinated as he was by the reports, they were not what Xander was looking for. He was forced to bypass the tantalizing documents and instead focus on the schematic for the entire base. He called it up, intent on finding Willow’s cell and releasing her, only to find that every cell had been opened, most of the security protocols had been permanently disabled, and from what few security feeds he could tap into, there was mass chaos erupting all over the base.
“Not good,” Xander muttered to himself. They had to find Willow, especially now that it looked like at least a dozen demons and maybe more vampires were lose in the base. With her Scooby Watch disabled, Willow would be almost entirely helpless. She might even be dead.
“She’s not!” Buffy roared over the sounds of screams and gunfire. She popped off a few MCD shots, then ducked back behind the crate. She had to have at least twenty soldiers stored in the capacitor of the MCD. He wondered what they were going to do with all of them once this was over. “Xander! Just focus on Willow!”
Right. She was right. He had to find Willow. This time, he would not allow himself to become distracted. That’s partly how they’d gotten in this mess in the first place. If Willow hadn’t been so angry at them, someone would have been with her when she was attacked.
He quickly scanned through the remaining security feeds, searching for signs of Willow. What he found was not promising. There were multiple scenes of dead and injured soldiers. Sometimes they were being fed on by vampires, other times they were simply left there by demons. A few had clearly been killed by gunfire. When he searched through the top secret feeds, he found the security footage for the most well-concealed area: Room 314. Inside was a single dead body of a middle-aged woman in a labcoat.
314. That was the room where the ADAM project was being worked on.
“Xander!” Buffy shouted, and Xander turned to look back at her. “They’re getting overrun!”
He frowned and carefully peeked around the crates. Sure enough, the few remaining soldiers had stopped firing at them and were trying to hold back a small horde of five or six demons and about ten vampires.
“We should help them,” Giles said. He was bleeding from a bullet wound that had grazed his upper arm, but he was otherwise unhurt.
“Help the guys who were just shooting at us,” Buffy said with a sigh. “I guess we have to.”
A new burst of gunfire erupted into the room. Buffy stood on her toes to look over the top of the crates, then quickly ducked back down.
“Two new guys just showed up, and they have really big guns!”
Xander wondered who they were shooting at, and as usual when she was rushed for time, Buffy did not wait for him to ask.
“They’re shooting at the vampires, but it’s not really doing anything,” she said, peeking around the crates again. “Yeah, I think we definitely have to help them.”
Be careful, Xander thought.
Buffy grinned, leaned forward, and kissed him on the side of the face. “Don’t worry about me. Just find--”
A loud clanging sound caught their attention. Buffy, Xander, and Giles all turned to look at a metal plate that had been fitted over the wall beside the computer console. Buffy and Giles both pointed their MCDs at the plate.
Something on the other side of it banged against it loudly. On the second bang, the metal bulged slightly. It burst forward on the third hit, clattering across the ground and sliding to a halt just before Giles.
Xander quickly noted the access shaft that had been revealed from behind the plate. It was probably used for computer maintenance, but that was just all kinds of inefficient. He began to wonder if someone had specifically designed this place to be a maze-like death trap.
His thoughts on the nature of the base were set aside when he next realized that the shaft wasn’t empty. A tall, powerfully built young man wielding a collapsible baton and a combat knife was crouched within it.
“Don’t move!” Giles shouted, MCD at the ready.
“Riley?” Buffy said in surprise. Then her expression turned dark. “Where’s Willow? What did you do with her!?”
“I--” Riley began, but Buffy reached in and grabbed him by the collar before he could move. She hauled him out of the shaft and slammed him up against the metal crate. He coughed and gasped for air as his weapons fell from nerveless fingers.
“Where is she!?” Buffy roared. “If you soldier freaks have hurt her, I’m going to--”
“Buffy!”
Xander blinked and turned back to the shaft. Inside, barefoot, frazzled, and with a blood-soaked bandage wrapped around her arm, was Willow.
“Willow!” he cried, and reached in to hug her without thinking. “You’re alive!”
He scooped her out and spun her around. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so relieved.
“I am, but I’m going to be sick if you don’t stop!” Willow exclaimed.
Xander spun slowly to a halt, then set her back down on her toes. He didn’t let go, however. “God, I’m so glad to see you. I was afraid you you were dead, and that I’d never be able to make up for what I did to you. I couldn’t bear the thought that you’d die hating me, Will.”
Willow gave him a curious look. “Really?”
He nodded earnestly. “I’m so sorry, Will. Buffy and I just got so distracted thanks to how sexy she is, especially now that she seems to really like giving me blowjobs, so I just--”
Xander’s eyes widened. Buffy coughed nervously. Giles paled.
“I didn’t meant to say that,” Xander said. “I’m really embarrassed right now, although you’d think I would be used to it since Buffy can hear my thoughts all the time and always knows when I’ve been daydreaming about playing with your breasts, Will. Wait! No! I didn’t meant to say that! I really don’t want you to know that a couple of times Buffy’s pretended to be you when we had sex! No! Someone stop me! Buffy! Help!”
Willow was turning absolutely beet red. She carefully extricated herself from his grip, but gave him a small smile. “I-It’s okay. M-maybe we should talk later?”
“Yes. Later. Let’s not talk now, otherwise I might tell you that Buffy masturbates to my dreams when she wakes up before me in the morning.”
“Xander!” Buffy shouted.
“I-I-I--” Xander stuttered, but could think of nothing to say.
“Ahem,” Giles said, clearing his throat. “I’m going to change the subject since this is making me extremely uncomfortable, particularly because while I feel my relationship with Buffy and Willow is quite paternal, I am nevertheless sexually excited at the idea of either of them being naked or engaging in sexual activity, which makes me feel quite ashamed of myself. I-- Oh dear. I-It’s happening to me as well. L-let’s just focus on a way out of here, shall we?”
“I-If you could let me down?” Riley asked in a strained voice. Buffy was still holding him up against the crate. She glared at him, then looked to Willow.
“He helped me,” Willow said. “I trust him. He said he would help me get out of here.”
“I will,” Riley said. “Even though I’m kind of freaking out over how strong Buffy is, not to mention how jealous I am that this guy apparently has sex with her.”
Buffy grumbled slightly, but let Riley down. He coughed a few times and then caught his breath. Ignoring him for a moment, Buffy leaned around the crate and took an assessment of the situation.
“They’re getting overrun,” Buffy said. She looked to Riley. “You know a quick way out of here? We can’t get to the shaft we climbed down from here.”
“Yeah,” Riley said. “Um, over that way. There’s an emergency staircase that leads up to the basement of Lowell House.” He peeked around the crate. “Holy-- those are my men! I have to help the--”
Buffy pulled him back and pressed him against the crate again. “You have to get Willow out of here, becaue it’s your fault she’s in here in the first place.” She turned and looked at Xander. “Can you take a look for me?”
He nodded quickly stuck his head out. He took in the full situation at once. There were twelve soldiers left. Two of them -- the newly arrived ones -- were using heavy caliber assault rifles against the remaining demons and vampires, but they were outmatched and outclassed. He quickly determined the avenues of attack that had the highest probability of successed based on a number of fluctuating variables.
Buffy kissed him on the cheek and unclipped her plasma-blade. “Got it. You guys get Willow out of here. I’m going to help those guys.”
“You?” Riley said in disbelief. “I get that you’re strong, but those HSTs are not joke, Buffy.”
Buffy scoffed and ignited her plasma-blade. Riley took a step back in shock.
“Neither am I,” she said. “Now go. I’ll catch up with you guys when I’m done.”
“I’ll provide cover fire until you’re within melee distance,” Giles said.
“Okay. Xander, are you good to go?”
He didn’t bother answering her, as she was provided with the answer the moment she asked him the question. Instead, he turned back to the computer and quickly tapped in a few commands.
“Right,” Buffy said. “I’ll meet up with you guys at Xanders’ when I’m done.”
Xander couldn’t help but worry about her. She touched his upper arm and said, “I’ll be fine, Xander. Now go!”
She darted out from behind the crate, plasma-blade whirling as she ran. He wasn’t entirely sure if she was deflecting -- or more accurately, vaporizing -- stray bullets with it as she ran, but it wouldn’t surprise him if she were. Buffy crossed the vast distance in mere seconds, moving far faster than any human could hope for. She plunged into the fray, taking the limbs of two demons with her plasma-blade before anyone had ever registered her presence.
“Let’s go!” Giles shouted, lowering his MCD and gesturing for the emergency access shaft. Xander wasted only a half-second looking back to Buffy before he turned and left with the others.
Continued in Installment 11b
Enjoy the every increasing insanity.
I'm doing two installments today, with each being smaller than the average installment. This is because I can't actually fit today's update into a single post (stupid LJ size limits) and I feel that this should all be read as one installment. So consider this Installment 11a and 11b.
I asked all of you out there to submit to me a bunch of ideas for things that could happen or become true for Xander. Then I used a random number generator and the AXIS (Alternate Xander Idea Selector - thanks, learnedhand_dj) to choose three random consecutive episodes and three random ideas, and I wrote a story based on those ideas.
Authors: please feel not only free, but actively encouraged to attempt your own Great Random Xander Story, using the AXIS listed above. I can tell you from personal experience, it's actually kind of fun and a very interesting writing exercise. Writing a story where you know at least two more major changes are coming but you don't know what they are going to be or when they will occur is pretty wacky. Try it out, and be sure to share your results with the rest of us!
This is the first attempt at that story, but will not be the last, so keep submitting your ideas. (We're up to about 130, I believe. New goal is 200!) First chapter and author notes can be found here
On with the story:
Awareness did not come to him slowly. It did not seep into place, gradually forming a fully realized reality. Existence was simply switched on, and he awoke, fully conscious and fully developed. He was innately aware of every part of himself, and when his eyes opened, they were not surprised by what he saw.
His creator, Margaret Walsh. PHDs in Psychology, Biology, and Cybernetics. Forty-nine years old. High blood pressure and perspiration indicated abnormal stress levels.
He looked at her, and she looked down at him.
“Welcome to the world, Adam,” she said, gazing down at him with an expression that he neither understood nor cared to understand.
Red lights flashed and klaxons sounded. His internal database recognized this as a Red Alert. He quickly accessed the base’s computer via the encrypted over-air frequency communicator built into his cortex. In the space of half a second, he witnessed the events of the last three days. Most of it did not interest him, but some of it did.
The girl: Willow Rosenberg.
She was an anomaly. He could not determine a material cause for her capabilities, and he was programmed to determine how to neutralize any potential threat.
The security of the base meant nothing to him, but he was somewhat intrigued by the energy weapons being employed by the three intruders. They too were a possible threat, but that was easily dealt with. He simply had the computer override the locks on all the cell blocks. The vampires and demons -- he was aware that they were not simply HSTs -- would, thanks to the malfunctioning weaponry of the soldiers, manage to create a tremendous amount of havoc. With luck, the intruders would be killed in the melee, and he could retrieve and study their weapons afterwards.
“Now,” Margaret Walsh said, placing a hand on his forehead. “Don’t try to get up too quickly. You’ll probably be disoriented for a--”
Adam reached up and grabbed her by the throat. Her eyes widened and she tried to gasp past his choking grip, but he was much too strong for that. Adam sat up and easily walked to the other side of the lab. He pressed Walsh up against the wall, holding her two feet off the ground. She clawed at his arm and kicked at him, but they were ineffective at best.
“Mommy,” Adam said. He felt a detached sense of humor at all of this. She had created him to be perfect, and yet he knew from his programming that she intended to control him. How could a perfect being be controlled by an inferior one? It was wholly illogical, and thus he had dismissed that programming as faulty. He began to rewrite it as he examined the fear in Walsh’s eyes.
“Intriguing,” he said, turning her face from side to side. “I recall what emotions are, and yet I find they no longer apply to me. I note your desperation, but I do not feel compelled to alter my own behavior as a result.”
He squeezed. Her neck snapped, and she went limp. Shrugging to himself, Adam let the lifeless body drop to the ground. The murder of his creator held no special significance to him. He simply noted it in his logs and timestamped it for his internal records.
Adam ran a simple self-diagnostic, which took only a moment. He noted his current capabilities did not match the specifications he found in the computer or even his internal database. He had been awakened before completion.
That was no matter. He could perform upgrades on himself as easily as his creator had. Already he noted several flaws in her design. She had been planning on equipping him with a bone skewer from a particularly strong HST. He found this to be a poor design decision. It would be much more effective to install a collapsible mini-gun and rocket-propelled-grenade launcher.
That would take time, of course. He needed to prioritize.
First, he would attempt to obtain the Willow Rosenberg girl, and abscond with her to a safer location; preferably one where he could examine her capabilities.
Second, he would attempt to obtain the energy weapons of the intruders.
Third, he would kill all of the inhabitants of the base. His creator had accidentally revealed his existence to Captain Riley Finn. It was entirely possible that the rest of the base was aware of him, and that could not be allowed. While he was much more powerful than any individual soldier, he calculated a very poor chance of survival if the full force of the Initiative came after him.
He would simply have to even the odds, that was all.
Adam turned and exited the lab. He turned immediately to his left and began to make his way down the hallway. When he turned another corner, he was faced with seven soldiers who were trying to hold back a vampire by shooting at it with conventional firearms. They had only a single M-16. The base was not stocked with very many conventional weapons.
Adam snapped the neck of the first, plunged his fist into the chest of the second, and backhanded the third so hard his skull shattered. The vampire was just beginning to react to this with a look of surprise when Adam pulled a combat knife from the belt of one of the dead soldiers and quickly slit the throat of two of the still-living ones. He then plunged the knife into the chest of the third before yanking it out and slamming it into the forehead of the final soldier.
The soldier fell lifelessly to the ground. Adam plucked the rifle from his grasp, then knelt down and picked up a few clips of extra ammunition. He expertly reloaded so he had a full clip, then stood up to look at the vampire.
“What are you?” the vampire -- a blonde woman who had likely been turned in her late teens -- asked.
“I am Adam,” he replied. He was no longer able to access the computer wirelessly now that he was outside of the lab, but his senses were good enough that he cold pinpoint where the biggest battle was taking place. He would go there and kill the soldiers.
“Is there a way out of here?” the vampire asked.
“Yes, several,” Adam said. Then he turned and walked away.
“Hey! Which way do I go?”
He didn’t answer her. Instead, he made his way to an access shaft. He access his database and found the code in eighteen milliseconds, then inputted it into the keypad. The door swung open, and he ducked into the shaft. He crawled exactly sixty-seven-point-eight meters, then exited the shaft. This brought him to what the soldiers referred to as The Pit. It was the largest single open space in the facility, and housed areas for impromptu autopsies, testing grounds for HST capabilities, holding pens, and several elevator shafts to the surface.
Adam surveyed the situation almost immediately. Roughly forty soldiers were scattered around the area, but only three of them had guns. The others were equipped with now-useless blasters. About a third of them were fighting against four escaped Polgara demons, while the others were trying to assault a position on the other side of the pit, where the three intruders had taken cover behind several large metal crates.
Utilizing his perfect knowledge of the layout of the facility, Adam realized they were in a strategically superior position. There was a computer terminal behind those crates. It was unlikely that anyone outside of the Initiative could break into the computer, but it was not impossible. The energy weapons used by the intruders indicated a high level of technical skill.
Adam raised his stolen rifle to the group of soldiers fighting the Polgaras. He pulled the trigger, not bothering to fire in short bursts as was standard protocol. His enhanced reflexes, accuracy, and visual acuity meant he was able to hit eleven of the soldiers in a single burst. Screams and gurgling choking sounds erupted as they fell to the ground, bleeding and dying. The Polgaras looked to Adam for only a moment before they fell upon the survivors, easily overwhelming them.
As he reloaded his rifle, Adam watched as a young blonde woman -- he judged her to be perhaps eighteen to twenty years old -- peeked around the crates and fired off several shots of green sparks. She hit several soldiers with the green sparks. Thanks to his enhanced sensors, Adam was able to determine that the soldiers were having their molecules disassembled. He was not able to determine where those molecules went, however. It was possible they were simple dissipated.
The girl intrigued him. She moved much more quickly and fired with much greater accuracy than any human could have hoped for. He judged her to be possibly as fast, if not faster than himself. That was anomalous.
In the ensuing six milliseconds, Adam decided to create a new file based on the anomalous existence of young women who exhibited ostensibly impossible capabilities. The first was Willow Rosenberg. The second was this blonde woman.
The soldiers split their forces once again, sending more of their number against the rapidly approaching Polgaras. Adam pointed his rifle at them once more, this time firing a few quick bursts that killed another six soldiers. It was then that the soldiers seemed to notice his presence. One of the armed ones shot at him with a nine-millimeter semi-automatic pistol, but his demonic hide and armored exterior meant the bullets had no effect on him. He decided it was best not to take any chances, however, and quickly killed his attacker with a single bullet to the forehead.
With the soldiers being overwhelmed by the Polgaras, Adam turned his full attention to the intruders. He was certain he could move quickly enough to avoid the green sparks the young woman was shooting off. Then it would be a simple matter of killing her and the other two intruders, and then he could acquire their energy weapons. Judging by the compact nature of the weapon the girl held, it would be extremely easy to incorporate it into his design.
Adam moved forward. His internal processor ran nonstop battle calculations as he determined exactly where he should stand and how he should move. The pattern exploited human nature and limitations of thinking to mean he would always be one step ahead of the defenders. There was--
A green spark spat across The Pit and slammed into Adam’s right arm. For a split second, his processor overloaded as he attempted to calculate what was happening to him. A sensation that might have been pain erupted up through his arm, and he dropped to his knees. He watched in fascination as his right arm dissolved away. His cybernetic and human components disassembled in less than half a second, and for a moment he was certain he was about to be completely destroyed. Such a possibility had not occurred to him, and in the impossibly long period of 500 milliseconds, Adam contemplated the nature of his own death.
Then it stopped. His right arm was completely gone, as was a great portion of his shoulder, but the green spark had stopped its disassembly of his body once it spread to the demonic hide of his upper chest. Adam hypothesized almost immediately that his demonic portions were somehow immune to the effect of the disassembly. If he were capable of such a feeling, he would say that he was pleased with such a discovery.
However, that did not put him out of danger. He was more than two-thirds human and cybernetic components, and those had been easily destroyed.
And so, before the young woman could fire off a second shot at him, Adam turned and retreated. He would not risk near-total annihilation on what amounted to his own curiosity. No, he would escape. After all, thanks to his Uranium core, he was effectively immortal. He had plenty of time to find out who the intruders were, acquire their technology, and neutralize them as a potential threat to his existence.
He ran.
Willow gasped for breath as she rounded a corner, but skidded to a halt when she saw five soldiers struggling to contain a single bone-covered demon. She whimpered a little to herself and then threw herself down the opposite hall, hoping that would lead to a way out of the insane world she found herself in.
Everywhere she went she ran into soldiers fighting with demons or vampires, and while it was usually at least five soldiers for every demon, that didn’t seem to matter. The soldiers were almost all unarmed, and they were almost all losing.
She had to find a way out of here. Her chest was burning and her legs were aching from running. Her head was pounding from the really-bad-idea of casting two Hera’s Fury spells in the same day, and she wasn’t sure she could float a feather, let alone anything that could actually be used as a weapon. She was barefoot, bleeding from a spot where a soldier had tried to grab at her arm, and was completely unarmed.
There was nothing else for her to do but run, so that’s what she did. Down corridor after corridor, she tried desperately to find a way out of the maze-like military base. She eventually ran across a few dead soldiers lying in a pool of blood, and had managed to ignore the horror and strong desire to throw up long enough to take one of their knives. She had know idea how to fight with a knife, but it felt better to have some kind of weapon.
After another five minutes of frantic running, Willow turned another corner. She froze at what she saw. The blonde head of a female vampire was pressed against the neck of one of the soldiers. There were six more all around. It looked like they had been shot.
The vampire raised her head and then looked back to Willow. Her mouth was covered in blood, but Willow recognized her all the same.
“Harmony?”
Harmony grinned. “Willow. Is this day great for me, or what? First I get let out of my cell, then that guy kills all these tasty soldiers for me, and now I get to kill you?”
“S-stay back,” Willow said, brandishing the knife. “I know magic.”
Of course, just the thought of casting the most minor of spells made her stomach churn and her head pound, but Harmony didn’t need to know that.
Harmony got to her feet and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Like Willow, she was barefoot, but she was also dressed in what looked like a hospital gown. Her face twisted into the deformed visage that was a vampire’s true demonic self, and she bared her fangs as she grinned at Willow.
“I just hope I don’t catch nerd from you when I eat you,” Harmony said. She sprang at Willow, moving with the kind of speed only a vampire that has freshly-fed could ever manage. Willow screamed and slashed the knife out in front of her. It caught Harmony across the face, slicing diagonally down from her right eye to the left side of her chin.
Harmony slammed into her a moment later and pressed Willow up against the wall. Willow struggled to bring the knife back up, but Harmony easily slapped it away. Willow whimpered as Harmony, her face bleeding profusely, licked up the side of Willow’s neck.
“Mmm, you’re going to taste so good.”
This could not be happening. She could not be killed by Harmony Kendall! It just wasn’t fair!
“This is kind of turning me on,” Harmony whispered into Willow’s ear. “You know I once had a dream about you where you were like, my boyfriend. It was really weird. I gave you a blowjob in my car and then you turned into my mom.”
“Just let me go, please, Harmony.”
“I don’t want to,” Harmony said. “I really want to just hurt you and make you scream. Maybe I’ll make you into one of my minions! Then I could hurt you whenever I want. I’m not gay or anything, but ever since I became a vampire I just loooove hurting people. It’s so hot.”
As if to prove this, she reached out and dug her fingernails into the wound on Willow’s arm. Willow screamed and felt like she might pass out.
“So hot!” Harmony said with a growl, and then gyrated her hips slightly against Willow. She reached her hand up and gripped Willow by the throat. “I just wish I could kill you more than once. It’s going to be so awesome when you just like, die right in front of my eyes. Stupid nerd Willow, and I get to kill her! How awesome is that going to--”
“Leave her alone! She’s sweet and pretty and I feel really guilty at bringing her here!” a voice shouted. A moment later, Harmony was yanked away from Willow. Willow gasped for air and slid down the wall before sitting hard on her butt. She clutched her throat and breathed in as deeply as she could.
Riley Finn stood over her. He had a collapsible baton in one hand and a knife in the other. His blaster was slung over his back, and he was dressed in full combat attire.
“Are you okay?” Riley asked, only half-glancing back at her.
“N-not really,” Willow croaked.
“Just stay there. I’ll protect you. It’s mostly because I feel it’s just the right thing for a guy to do for a girl in trouble, but it’s also because I want to make up for bri--”
Harmony screamed and launched herself at Riley. Willow let out a little shriek as well, but was surprised when Riley moved with enough speed to crack Harmony across the face with the baton. She fell to one side, clutching her face and screaming. Riley quickly followed up with a kick to her midsection that caused Harmony to flop onto her back. He quickly flipped his baton around a pressed a button that caused a wooden point to extend out from the base. He slammed the point down onto Harmony’s chest. She gasped, shot Willow a hateful look, and burst into ash.
Riley let out a steadying breath, and then turned around to offer Willow a hand.
“It’s okay,” he said. “I’m not going to hurt you. I played back the footage of Professor Walsh talking to you. I know what she threatened you with. I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I know ‘I was just following orders’ isn’t good enough, but that’s my only excuse. I’m going to help you get out of here.”
“You are?”
“Yeah. You’re not an HST. I know that. I can get you to one of the emergency access shafts back to the surface.”
Willow took his hand, and he helped her to her feet. “W-what about you?”
“I’m going to try and get my people out of here. Our weapons aren’t working and someone opened the cells. We can’t hope to contain the prisoners right now.” He pulled a walkie-talkie from his vest and brought it to his mouth. “Forrest, it’s Riley, you read?”
“Sort of,” came a reply that was only barely understandable through a spray of static and hissing. “Something’s jamming up comms pretty bad.”
“I know. I got the girl. I’m going to try to get her out. You and Graham okay?”
“Yeah, for now. Lucky for us Graham is a good ol’ boy. Guy had more guns in his quarters than the armory.”
Riley smiled. “Good. Try and secure what you can, but get out if things get bad. Wish we had a self-destruct set up for this place. I don’t like the idea of all these HSTs getting loose.”
“Me neither,” Forrest said. “And I-- oh shit!”
“Forrest? Forrest!?”
There was silent for a few moments. Riley looked to Willow. “I want to tell you he’s probably okay, but I think he’s probably dead.”
Willow swallowed nervously and Riley frowned at her. “Why do I keep telling you things like that? Is it just because I think you’re pretty and would love to go out with you sometime?”
Blushing, Willow stammered out, “Uh, n-no, I just, um, I-I think I got cursed.”
“Cursed?”
“Yeah. I think someone cast a spell on me so that, um, people tell me the truth.”
Riley gave her a skeptical look. “I’m disappointed because I think you’re probably crazy. I was really hoping that by showing you what I good guy I am, you might be interested in dating me. I find you really physically attractive, but if you’re crazy I don’t think I want to date you. Magic isn’t real.”
Willow blushed some more. “Uh, n-no. It is.”
“You’re really cute when you blush,” Riley said, then his eyes widened.“Okay, this really sucks. Soon I’m going to tell you that I masturbate twice a day or that I once kissed a girl who was really a guy when I was drunk at a bar one night, and that I kind of liked it.”
He slapped a hand over his mouth. Muffled by his hand, he said, “Mokay. Mo more malking.”
Willow nodded. “Yeah, th-that might be a good idea.”
He nodded for her to follow him. As they went, one thought penetrated her mind.
Did he really think she was cute?
Xander’s hands flew over the keyboard. It had been almost a year since he last used a conventional computer, and even though this one was tied into a mainframe that was at least ten years ahead of anything on the market, it was like a solar-powered calculator compared to his home system. It was interminably slow, and incredibly easy to break into. He had accessed the core systems and administrative functions in less than a minute, and all while Buffy and Giles provided him with cover fire from their MCD Mark IIs.
He was amazed at all the information he had found. He had become very adept at speed reading, and tended to have a photographic memory for most of what he read, but even still, there was too much for him to absorb at once. From what he could gather, the Initiative was intended to react as a military response to the threat of demons -- HSTs, in the military vernacular -- except that he had managed to find hidden files that suggested they weren’t there simply to neutralize demons. No, they were there to co-opt demons for military purposes. He had seen glimpses of reports mentioning something called ADAM, and if he was right, they were talking about some kind of demon cyborg super soldier. It was crude in comparison to his version of cybernetic enhancement, but he had to admit from the schematics he’d seen that what it lost in elegance it made up for in pure strength and power. Faith’s own cybernetic enhancements were somewhat limited thanks to her Slayer physiology, but with a demonic base, this ADAM could reach untold levels of physical strength and endurance.
As fascinated as he was by the reports, they were not what Xander was looking for. He was forced to bypass the tantalizing documents and instead focus on the schematic for the entire base. He called it up, intent on finding Willow’s cell and releasing her, only to find that every cell had been opened, most of the security protocols had been permanently disabled, and from what few security feeds he could tap into, there was mass chaos erupting all over the base.
“Not good,” Xander muttered to himself. They had to find Willow, especially now that it looked like at least a dozen demons and maybe more vampires were lose in the base. With her Scooby Watch disabled, Willow would be almost entirely helpless. She might even be dead.
“She’s not!” Buffy roared over the sounds of screams and gunfire. She popped off a few MCD shots, then ducked back behind the crate. She had to have at least twenty soldiers stored in the capacitor of the MCD. He wondered what they were going to do with all of them once this was over. “Xander! Just focus on Willow!”
Right. She was right. He had to find Willow. This time, he would not allow himself to become distracted. That’s partly how they’d gotten in this mess in the first place. If Willow hadn’t been so angry at them, someone would have been with her when she was attacked.
He quickly scanned through the remaining security feeds, searching for signs of Willow. What he found was not promising. There were multiple scenes of dead and injured soldiers. Sometimes they were being fed on by vampires, other times they were simply left there by demons. A few had clearly been killed by gunfire. When he searched through the top secret feeds, he found the security footage for the most well-concealed area: Room 314. Inside was a single dead body of a middle-aged woman in a labcoat.
314. That was the room where the ADAM project was being worked on.
“Xander!” Buffy shouted, and Xander turned to look back at her. “They’re getting overrun!”
He frowned and carefully peeked around the crates. Sure enough, the few remaining soldiers had stopped firing at them and were trying to hold back a small horde of five or six demons and about ten vampires.
“We should help them,” Giles said. He was bleeding from a bullet wound that had grazed his upper arm, but he was otherwise unhurt.
“Help the guys who were just shooting at us,” Buffy said with a sigh. “I guess we have to.”
A new burst of gunfire erupted into the room. Buffy stood on her toes to look over the top of the crates, then quickly ducked back down.
“Two new guys just showed up, and they have really big guns!”
Xander wondered who they were shooting at, and as usual when she was rushed for time, Buffy did not wait for him to ask.
“They’re shooting at the vampires, but it’s not really doing anything,” she said, peeking around the crates again. “Yeah, I think we definitely have to help them.”
Be careful, Xander thought.
Buffy grinned, leaned forward, and kissed him on the side of the face. “Don’t worry about me. Just find--”
A loud clanging sound caught their attention. Buffy, Xander, and Giles all turned to look at a metal plate that had been fitted over the wall beside the computer console. Buffy and Giles both pointed their MCDs at the plate.
Something on the other side of it banged against it loudly. On the second bang, the metal bulged slightly. It burst forward on the third hit, clattering across the ground and sliding to a halt just before Giles.
Xander quickly noted the access shaft that had been revealed from behind the plate. It was probably used for computer maintenance, but that was just all kinds of inefficient. He began to wonder if someone had specifically designed this place to be a maze-like death trap.
His thoughts on the nature of the base were set aside when he next realized that the shaft wasn’t empty. A tall, powerfully built young man wielding a collapsible baton and a combat knife was crouched within it.
“Don’t move!” Giles shouted, MCD at the ready.
“Riley?” Buffy said in surprise. Then her expression turned dark. “Where’s Willow? What did you do with her!?”
“I--” Riley began, but Buffy reached in and grabbed him by the collar before he could move. She hauled him out of the shaft and slammed him up against the metal crate. He coughed and gasped for air as his weapons fell from nerveless fingers.
“Where is she!?” Buffy roared. “If you soldier freaks have hurt her, I’m going to--”
“Buffy!”
Xander blinked and turned back to the shaft. Inside, barefoot, frazzled, and with a blood-soaked bandage wrapped around her arm, was Willow.
“Willow!” he cried, and reached in to hug her without thinking. “You’re alive!”
He scooped her out and spun her around. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so relieved.
“I am, but I’m going to be sick if you don’t stop!” Willow exclaimed.
Xander spun slowly to a halt, then set her back down on her toes. He didn’t let go, however. “God, I’m so glad to see you. I was afraid you you were dead, and that I’d never be able to make up for what I did to you. I couldn’t bear the thought that you’d die hating me, Will.”
Willow gave him a curious look. “Really?”
He nodded earnestly. “I’m so sorry, Will. Buffy and I just got so distracted thanks to how sexy she is, especially now that she seems to really like giving me blowjobs, so I just--”
Xander’s eyes widened. Buffy coughed nervously. Giles paled.
“I didn’t meant to say that,” Xander said. “I’m really embarrassed right now, although you’d think I would be used to it since Buffy can hear my thoughts all the time and always knows when I’ve been daydreaming about playing with your breasts, Will. Wait! No! I didn’t meant to say that! I really don’t want you to know that a couple of times Buffy’s pretended to be you when we had sex! No! Someone stop me! Buffy! Help!”
Willow was turning absolutely beet red. She carefully extricated herself from his grip, but gave him a small smile. “I-It’s okay. M-maybe we should talk later?”
“Yes. Later. Let’s not talk now, otherwise I might tell you that Buffy masturbates to my dreams when she wakes up before me in the morning.”
“Xander!” Buffy shouted.
“I-I-I--” Xander stuttered, but could think of nothing to say.
“Ahem,” Giles said, clearing his throat. “I’m going to change the subject since this is making me extremely uncomfortable, particularly because while I feel my relationship with Buffy and Willow is quite paternal, I am nevertheless sexually excited at the idea of either of them being naked or engaging in sexual activity, which makes me feel quite ashamed of myself. I-- Oh dear. I-It’s happening to me as well. L-let’s just focus on a way out of here, shall we?”
“I-If you could let me down?” Riley asked in a strained voice. Buffy was still holding him up against the crate. She glared at him, then looked to Willow.
“He helped me,” Willow said. “I trust him. He said he would help me get out of here.”
“I will,” Riley said. “Even though I’m kind of freaking out over how strong Buffy is, not to mention how jealous I am that this guy apparently has sex with her.”
Buffy grumbled slightly, but let Riley down. He coughed a few times and then caught his breath. Ignoring him for a moment, Buffy leaned around the crate and took an assessment of the situation.
“They’re getting overrun,” Buffy said. She looked to Riley. “You know a quick way out of here? We can’t get to the shaft we climbed down from here.”
“Yeah,” Riley said. “Um, over that way. There’s an emergency staircase that leads up to the basement of Lowell House.” He peeked around the crate. “Holy-- those are my men! I have to help the--”
Buffy pulled him back and pressed him against the crate again. “You have to get Willow out of here, becaue it’s your fault she’s in here in the first place.” She turned and looked at Xander. “Can you take a look for me?”
He nodded quickly stuck his head out. He took in the full situation at once. There were twelve soldiers left. Two of them -- the newly arrived ones -- were using heavy caliber assault rifles against the remaining demons and vampires, but they were outmatched and outclassed. He quickly determined the avenues of attack that had the highest probability of successed based on a number of fluctuating variables.
Buffy kissed him on the cheek and unclipped her plasma-blade. “Got it. You guys get Willow out of here. I’m going to help those guys.”
“You?” Riley said in disbelief. “I get that you’re strong, but those HSTs are not joke, Buffy.”
Buffy scoffed and ignited her plasma-blade. Riley took a step back in shock.
“Neither am I,” she said. “Now go. I’ll catch up with you guys when I’m done.”
“I’ll provide cover fire until you’re within melee distance,” Giles said.
“Okay. Xander, are you good to go?”
He didn’t bother answering her, as she was provided with the answer the moment she asked him the question. Instead, he turned back to the computer and quickly tapped in a few commands.
“Right,” Buffy said. “I’ll meet up with you guys at Xanders’ when I’m done.”
Xander couldn’t help but worry about her. She touched his upper arm and said, “I’ll be fine, Xander. Now go!”
She darted out from behind the crate, plasma-blade whirling as she ran. He wasn’t entirely sure if she was deflecting -- or more accurately, vaporizing -- stray bullets with it as she ran, but it wouldn’t surprise him if she were. Buffy crossed the vast distance in mere seconds, moving far faster than any human could hope for. She plunged into the fray, taking the limbs of two demons with her plasma-blade before anyone had ever registered her presence.
“Let’s go!” Giles shouted, lowering his MCD and gesturing for the emergency access shaft. Xander wasted only a half-second looking back to Buffy before he turned and left with the others.
Continued in Installment 11b