Medication makes the world go 'round.
So thanks to my flu I am temporarily off my most recent migraine medication. What does this mean? First, it means I have a whopping migraine. Hooray. Second, it means I am temporarily in full control of my faculties again. So I figure I might as well say this now:
( Ranting, writing, braining, self-indulging, and maybe a little whining. )
( Ranting, writing, braining, self-indulging, and maybe a little whining. )
It's the most eerie feeling, really. I don't know what it's like for other people, but my life is about imagining. When I go to sleep, I go to sleep playing out stories in my head. It's how my fics eventually become fics. Before I ever write them down I've played out most of the story in my head night after night.
Once I started that medication though, that just stopped. I physically (mentally) could not imagine. I'm switching up the medication so that hopefully won't happen again, but it was incredibly frustrating and one of the more frightening aspects of neurology. It's sobering to realize that what you consider to be an innate part of yourself is really dictated by your brain chemistry.
Like if you said to me, "Xander at a bus station, penniless, and he just realized he lost his bus ticket" I could normally tell you very easily what would happen next, how he would react, and what possibilities could come from that. When I was on this stuff: nothing. It would actually make my head hurt to try, and soon I would start almost panicking as I tried to force my mind to go through simple scenarios like that. Very freaky.
So I'll do what I can and write when I can, but yeah, it's not just lucidity, it's the very basic building blocks of writing.
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And now I think about what it would be like to *not* be able to imagine a movie or book set in a world without imagination, and I am recursively horrified.
I hope things get better for you soon.
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