LJ Idol Week 14- Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here
Good morning, maggots, I trust you rested well. I am Seargeant Aemon Hamner. Did any of you pretty, pretty puffcakes see the sign above the door. Do any of you maggots recognize the inscription.
That's right Dante's Inferno, a literate maggot. You'll be on a transport home in a week. Oh not just literate maggots, illiterate maggots, multi lingual maggots, cunnilingual maggots almost all of you maggots aren't gonna make it.
Let's get back to the sign maggots, since some of you got the reference you might wonder...does this mean we are going to endure some kind of multi stage hell ?
Let me assure you maggots that will not be the case. There is no way in Dante's Eye-tallion, pizza scarfing hello kitty hell that I am going that easy on you.
I don't know why I am wasting my precious breath telling you this when good military statistics show 94 percent of you maggots are going to wash out, flunk out, flame out, burn out, pansy out or otherwise get out of here, while crying for your mothers, girlfriends, boyfriends, girlfriend's boyfriends, Budda and Sweet, Sweet Baby Jesus.
Room of 400 maggots....Hey Alligheri can you do math too.....that means I am wasting my valuable time on about 24 of you maggots who will fester gloriously and get a chance to become full grown fighting, flying and fucking Greenbottle Flies.
That is by design maggots, the Greenbottle armor costs millions and millions, I am not a fucking accountant but it is more money than both of us will ever see in our miserable lives.....and the U.S. Army does not want you maggots defiling their gorgeous one man, self- contained death machine with your miserable guts.
So maggots, do you still want to be Greenbottles. Even when there are perfectly acceptable professions available like toilet scrubber, cum sock disposal person class 2, and butt bitch available?
O.k Maggots, before I let you go I must tell you that I am a D.C......no it doesn't mean that, you perverted maggots. It means I am a downloaded conciousness.
You see maggots, the real Aemon "The Hammer" Hamner got himself killed in Tunisia, like 80 percent of our pilots do.
Enjoy your breakfast, maggots.