Owned Part Nine
Once Brendon’s breathing had slowed and his whimpers had ceased, Ryan had simply taken the boy’s hands, now untied, and led him out of the room to a back door and into the moonlit street. Ryan had hailed a cab and opened the door to let Brendon inside. Ryan had only spoken to direct the driver to a hotel a few blocks away and Brendon had shuffled ( Read more... )
I'm a big fan of BDSM stories, but only if the dynamics are portrayed correctly. And I love the dynamics you have going on between Brendon and Ryan, especially Brendon's internal struggle to submit, but the urge and need to do so ultimately winning out in the end. The fact that you've dealt with the issue of trust also sticks with me because a BDSM relationship can't even begin without trust. I like that you've dealt with that in the one part where Brendon gets really weird with Ryan, until they have the talk, and build that trust up again.
I also think Ryan's a great Dom, for the simple fact, he gives Brendon what he needs and takes him out of his comfort-zone, ultimately taking his control. The way you express and show the difference between Ryan as a Dom and him as himself is great. The part with Ryan revealing and telling Pete had me pausing for a moment, but I realized that Ryan wouldn't do anything to truly hurt Brendon, he only gives Brendon what he knows he needs.
You said in your author's note that you feel this story is plotless and you've read better, well-structured stories. I'm here to tell you, you're wrong. This is one of the best stories I've read. It's one of the best BDSM P!ATD stories on livejournal. I think you're selling yourself short and don't realize how awesome this piece is. Honestly, the plot of this story has lots of boy sex, but it also demonstrates the complexity of the type of relationship Brendon and Ryan have, which makes it stand out beyond the sex.
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I'm interested that you raised the Pete issue because so many other people have too. Personally I see the involvement of one or more other people (liberal, consensual people) as kind of a vital part of the D/s process. In my experience it becomes relatively easy to submit after a while because you are only having to admit it to yourself and the one person you trust more than anyone in the whole world. To then be forced to submit in front of others, to admit to the world at large that you like to be owned, now that's some scary (but extremely arousing) shit.
Basically my question is this: Are people going to be disappointed if I take Brendon's submission into a more public arena, because that was kind of where I was going with this?
I would appreciate your opinion since you seem to know what you're talking about, and anyone elses point of view would be great too because, well it's kind of interesting to hear other people's views on D/s relationships in general, but also because I want to please my audience!
Thanks again for commenting, much love to you xxx
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So, your question. The chapter when the whole first "Pete incident" occurred, I'm fairly certain my comment was more on the silly side with a "oh you meany, Ryan...you have Brendon following your every order and you do this...etc, etc." Here's my honest feedback about it.
You're completely correct. It does eventually become a relatively easy task to submit to that one person you're trusting. So it follows that when made to become submissive in public, it becomes more of a little more of a challenge again. But you're right about something else as well: it is all the more arousing if one is able to give in, surrendering everything and trusting completely in their master.
Before one is able to accomplish this, the total blind trust regardless of the presence of others, this does feel rather humiliating. This is where I would make a very very slight change in the way you wrote something, I think. The submissive, in the beginning, is humiliated as it is just because the d/s is being practiced in public. They look to their dom, naturally, for some kind of reassurance. This is where we should see at least a tiny bit of a sweeter Ryan.
Although he is the dom, Ryan obviously loves Brendon greatly and would never do anything to intentionally hurt him (well...you know what I mean). Anyway, although Ryan still does need to assert his dominance in front of others for it to work, I would say you need to make sure he isn't quite as malicious as he was when he was with Pete, sitting across the table whispering and smirking about the look of embarassment on Brendon's face. Brendon should be awarded for his obedience and loved on in public as well. He needs it. Open praise and love directed toward the submissive from the dom is so important. It strengthens their bond and makes the submissive love and trust even further, becoming even more sure about giving themselves completely over to be under the control of another.
Okay. So there was my very long-winded opinion on the subject. Talking intelligently on here is fun! We should all do it more often. Anyway, I hope some part of this helps you. Your portrayal of this type of relationship is very realistic and it's written so well. Not that I didn't say that before, I just thought I'd repeat myself. So you knew. Because this story's awesome and has succeeded in distracting me from writing my own things for my classes. Which is kind of horrible because I'm a writing major. But kind of okay because you're awesome. So, now that I've officially digressed - <3
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A couple of things since we're getting all philosophical on here... firstly I agree about the intelligence thing and it supports one of my long held theories that a certain level of creativity and intellect go hand and hand with any kind of D/s kink. I have actually read more interesting comments about BDSM relationships on here than I have on some of the D/s communitis that I occasioannly frequent. Which leads me to a new theory...is there something inherently kinky about P!ATD and other bands of their ilk? I couldn't imagine people on a Jennifer Lopez forum for example discussing the pros and cons of public humiliation in a D/s relationship. But maybe that's just my own musical prejudices coming out.
As for the intelligent conversation - I likey, but that's not to take anything away from the detailed discussions about Brendon's bottom or the long-winded rants about particular plotlines or characterisations. I pretty much love this community.
And I pretty much love you too by the way :)
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Now I hate myself.
Spelling and grammar are kind of an obsession.
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It is strange, though. I never really thought about it too much but you do have a point. There does seem to be a heavy concentration of people people who belong to the Panic! communities that have an affinity for BDSM, d/s, and other kinks of that nature. I couldn't tell you why this has occurred. I'd say it helps that most of the boys in these bands are all very beautiful (cite Brendon Urie and his ample posterior you referenced earlier). That aside, we do seem to congregate quite heavily here for some reason meaning obviously we're interested in this specific type of music as well. Hmm...that's interesting to think about.
As for the grammar, me as well...I'm like a grammar nazi, which makes reading some of the things posted on these communities quite difficult.
And hey - who says we can't have an intelligent conversation ABOUT said bottom of Brendon Urie. It's possible. I know it is. My roommate and I have talked at great length about it. And him. And just about any other boy we love in a band. It's a wonder we get any work done, honestly.
Aww...I love you too! :)
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As for me, I have my kinks in D/s and Spanking. So this chapter was extra great for me. As to my thoughts on the public humiliation, I think that it should be subtle..like wearing the collar in public. Or having to stay close, not wonder off. Things like that, and then gradually progress to bigger feats of trust and sumbisive behaviors. So that is my oppinion.
And while I am on here I might as well say... OMG FUCKING AWSOME XXXXXXX
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Personally I see the involvement of one or more other people (liberal, consensual people) as kind of a vital part of the D/s process. In my experience it becomes relatively easy to submit after a while because you are only having to admit it to yourself and the one person you trust more than anyone in the whole world.
I agree, after a time it becomes too easy and bringing in another person definitely pushes the limits and strengthens the trust, but not all people are able to handle that. In Brendon and Ryan's case, and the way you've written their relationship, I think Brendon will be able to handle it as long as Ryan gives him positive cues and rewards him in the end.
Looking back over this part, I think Brendon's reward after his submission in front of Pete, comes later in the scene where him and Ryan are simply lounging. It would be interesting to see Brendon and Ryan discuss bringing in someone else and how Brendon would feel about it.
Are people going to be disappointed if I take Brendon's submission into a more public arena, because that was kind of where I was going with this?
I personally wouldn't be disappointed because like you said, "that's some arousing shit". Submitting in front of others and showing that you are owned. The situation with Pete was only a small test, it'd be great to see Ryan push the limits. I know others might be uncomfortable with it, since this isn't just a mindless smut story and is far more complex in the dynamics, but this is a BDSM story, so they'll just have to deal if you decide to take it in that direction (which I'm suspecting and hoping you are lol).
Love you much :)
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