Owned Part 4

[m_l_frost]

There was no sign of Ryan in any of the bunks and it was with mounting dread that the newly collared Brendon made his way to the back of the bus.  There was a small area back there where Ryan would often go to read when he wanted some alone time.  Brendon had only visited what he called “Ryan’s Geek Shack” once before, and that was only because he

Comments

[orangecrush070]

well...hot damn. thats pretty much it. oh and ILOVEYOU? yeah i do. this is crazzzy shit. please continue.

[orangecrush070]

FC! whoot.

[m_l_frost]

Hey thanks :)

[andinthemoment]

<3!
i shall go read now.
^_^

[andinthemoment]

i love you.
this story owns my soul
i might have to kidnap you
and hide you in my closet
and make you write storys all dayy
(insert maniacal laughter here)
heh
im random tonight
but seriously
if theres not more soon i'll cry
lots!

[m_l_frost]

Super random...but since you asked so nicely...

[ocelot_daemon]

This is really good.

Can I offer one of my own little tiny nit-picky pet peeves?
Brendon forced a swallow uncomfortably passed the tight black This should be "past" not "passed" I think. I see this a lot, and it always makes me stop and have to figure out what's going on. passed [past, pahst] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
-adjective
1. having completed the act of passing.
2. having received a passing grade on an examination or test or successfully completed a school course, year, or program of study.

vs.

-adverb
13. so as to pass by or beyond; by: The troops marched past.

I'm not trying to be annoying or pedantic... well, I am, slightly, because the difference between the two definitions can be blurred, it was just the one thing I saw that seemed out of place, and it's not something spellcheck would catch. Otherwise, I love this story so far!

[m_l_frost]

Hey you learn something new everyday. I had always assumed 'passed' was the past tense of the verb 'to pass' but, yeah I guess it is an adverbs as pertains to the verb 'to go'. Anal retentive fan of linguistics (me) says thank you!

[ocelot_daemon]

Hey, anytime. :)

[anonymous]

I seriously love this so much. Can I just say how happy I am that you have Brendon call Ryan "Ryan" instead of "Master". When I ever read people forcing someone to call them mater in a fic, it seriously turns me off. But for some reason, Ryan actually making him say "Ryan" is super sexy.

Post more soon please!

[m_l_frost]

Yeah, can't really see Ryro as the 'Master' type...too impersonal. Thanks for commenting xxx

[neechan_chana]

I feel a little like a pervert reading that cause, well, it's a little waird XD Ah ah, I like being a pervert ^___^
No, seriously, Your fic is really great !!
(and why does someone have to interrupt them ? I want more ! lol)

[m_l_frost]

I am a fan of weird.

Glad you like the story and thanks for commenting xxx