50 minute phone conversations will do this to u.
So i have been thinking. I know I know oh god Marie is thinking again. But no seriously I have been thinking about how society doesnt make it okay for people to be alone. And for those people who are alone (like being lonely isnt bad enough already) they have to face societal pressures to find somebody. I personally think society is shit...but we do have to live in it..so i need to find ways to deal.
First of all sexual identity isn't so black and white. The other day in my women's studies class we were discussing how some people are asexual and other non-sexual but does society or media ever portray these people? No. So therefore the majority of people find that when u dont choose a mate or something to be attracted to...u just dont belong. If people cant or dont want to be attracted to either gender who cares. its their life as long as they arent hurting anybody then they can keep being asexual or non-sexual for all i care.
Secondly, this whole boyfriend/girlfriend/lover/husband/wife shit is really becoming bogus to me. Being a 20 year old female in college surrounded by couples makes me want to vomit. Now i am not saying i dont want to get married eventually or have a boyfriend but, i dont want to have either of those because society tells me thats what i should do. I want to chose somebody to love because I love them and they love me back, not because society says I should have somebody.
And thirdly, who the hell thinks that being alone or with somebody is easy. Either way u are fucked. Obviously being alone sucks because like i said earlier u are the minority in a society where finding that "someone" is like the main goal in life. But then being with somebody sucks as well because almost always there is a point u realize either u hurt them or u are being hurt. Even in succesful marriages people are getting hurt left and right. Look at my parents for example they have been together almost 30 years i believe. they fight over the stupidest shit. but i think they still love each other. BUT....they both have been hurt in the process. And seeing them fight as a child has obviously done something to me mentally to where i never want a relationship like theirs...or atleast a "love" like theirs. So i guess being involved in their relationship has hurt me as well.
So after thinking about all of this it makes me wonder...this whole time have i been searching for somebody because I wanted to or because I didnt want to be different? I know i am not asexual,non-sexual, bisexual, or homosexual...those of u who know me obviously know this. LOL. but, what I really want or atleast thought I wanted isnt evident to me anymore. If something or somebody comes along I think i am going to look at the situation completely differently and through my own mind and not through societys. So basically what I am saying is just think about what you truly want...and look at past relationships and think was I with them because I wanted to be or because society tells me I should date around? You may be surprised as to what you find out.
FUCK SOCIETY. who's with me?
First of all sexual identity isn't so black and white. The other day in my women's studies class we were discussing how some people are asexual and other non-sexual but does society or media ever portray these people? No. So therefore the majority of people find that when u dont choose a mate or something to be attracted to...u just dont belong. If people cant or dont want to be attracted to either gender who cares. its their life as long as they arent hurting anybody then they can keep being asexual or non-sexual for all i care.
Secondly, this whole boyfriend/girlfriend/lover/husband/wife shit is really becoming bogus to me. Being a 20 year old female in college surrounded by couples makes me want to vomit. Now i am not saying i dont want to get married eventually or have a boyfriend but, i dont want to have either of those because society tells me thats what i should do. I want to chose somebody to love because I love them and they love me back, not because society says I should have somebody.
And thirdly, who the hell thinks that being alone or with somebody is easy. Either way u are fucked. Obviously being alone sucks because like i said earlier u are the minority in a society where finding that "someone" is like the main goal in life. But then being with somebody sucks as well because almost always there is a point u realize either u hurt them or u are being hurt. Even in succesful marriages people are getting hurt left and right. Look at my parents for example they have been together almost 30 years i believe. they fight over the stupidest shit. but i think they still love each other. BUT....they both have been hurt in the process. And seeing them fight as a child has obviously done something to me mentally to where i never want a relationship like theirs...or atleast a "love" like theirs. So i guess being involved in their relationship has hurt me as well.
So after thinking about all of this it makes me wonder...this whole time have i been searching for somebody because I wanted to or because I didnt want to be different? I know i am not asexual,non-sexual, bisexual, or homosexual...those of u who know me obviously know this. LOL. but, what I really want or atleast thought I wanted isnt evident to me anymore. If something or somebody comes along I think i am going to look at the situation completely differently and through my own mind and not through societys. So basically what I am saying is just think about what you truly want...and look at past relationships and think was I with them because I wanted to be or because society tells me I should date around? You may be surprised as to what you find out.
FUCK SOCIETY. who's with me?