elite_muses, topic #24: Cabin Fever
Not one to give in to cabin fever. I want to go out, I go out.
Cept on a full moon of course.
That's a different kind of cabin fever, folks. You know, the kind that’s fuckin torture instead of mopey assed boredom.
When I'm like that, every goddamned instinct in me is to hunt. Kill. Find prey, shred the skin, gorge on the hot bloody meat, crunch on and suck the marrow from the bones.
Real pretty picture, ain't it?
That's what I used to do; men, women, kids...I ain't gonna sit here and lie. Some of you hunter types, yeah, you're probably reading this. You think you wanna hunt me down and put an end to my miserable little existence? You're welcome to try, you think you're big enough.
I couldn't stop it then. I barely even fuckin remember what all I did back then. Usually I only knew what I ate cause I puked it up the next day.
I can stop it now. I dunno how I manage it--maybe I just fought it for so long that I beat it back. The wolf. The instinct. But when I shift now, I'm me. I stay me.
Mostly me, at least, cause the instinct? Yeah, it's still there. I still want to hunt, chase, kill, feed.
I probably could, you know. Not humans, but animals. In fact, I used to at first, after I started keeping the brain in my head when I shifted. Killed cats, livestock, possums...then one night a kid came cross my path. 16 or so years old. Pretty little blonde thing. Needless to say I scared her shitless.
She smelled like food, and I damn near lost it.
So ever since then, I don't go out during the moon. I don't let myself hunt; and it ain't easy. Wherever it is I'm squatting? Place gets wrecked. I claw at the walls, the floor, break anything in sight. Cause that fucking instinct is always there.
Bee tries to tell me I'm tamed, but that's a fucking joke. That don't happen and it never will.
Conscience or not, I'm a monster.
That's just how it is.
Muse: Max Carter
Fandom: BtVS/Angel OC
Word Count: 363