Weekend Nap
Slept way too much, through most of Thanksgiving, through most the night, through most the day, through most of my homework, and I realized everyone sleeps through most their life. Not just that approximate 1/3, but dangerously more, few people have any sense of motion anymore. I remember when I was much smarter than I now am, and realize sleep and indulgence and lonliness and necessity and indifference all detract, all have finally caught up to me, despite me seeing it take so many before and after me.
And Mr. Rooney questions why last year the U.S. Mint minted 7 billion brand new pennies despite never being able to buy anything for a penny. Some people are in motion for the sake of being in motion, so too are some countries, and in this case some unneeded currencies. We don't like letting things die...
And Jay Green a 12 year old composer, signs all his works "Blue Jay", is a prodigy that our world hasn't seen in nearly 200 years, playing Beethoven upside down and backwards due to boredom, five symphonies under his belt at 12 when previous genius required a lifetime to do so. Yet if he continues to see his gift as natural, free flowing, and not needing to revert to process, and tradition, his genius is already lost. He taught me something about myself and why I've lost what I have...
And talks of great importance and gravity help me realize why I feel disconnected at times, why I feel out of a loop I so admire and wish to be an integral part of, and above all made me realize I have the greatest friends a single person has ever known...
And now I sit combining my two loves, one reborn, the other just reaching puberty, writing about math as an art form, and pointing out that no one ever finds truth without it. As I told Eric, my lot in life is not to find God, nor Heaven, nor happiness per se, mine is a pursuit of truth, be it natural, metaphysical, emotional, personal, through love, through reason, through experience, or even through negation, I am a creature of process not of destinations...
And above all I admit that nothing lasts forever, the Buddhist mind states as much, although cycles exist, and I question if what I know to be true about people (general and specific people) and of love and of hate and of knowledge and of ignorance is applicable in the now, or must I wait for the next cycle to validate it all?
I'm waiting for it all to just fit, but then again that would end my process, and more importantly I'd have little reason to stay awake at all...
And Mr. Rooney questions why last year the U.S. Mint minted 7 billion brand new pennies despite never being able to buy anything for a penny. Some people are in motion for the sake of being in motion, so too are some countries, and in this case some unneeded currencies. We don't like letting things die...
And Jay Green a 12 year old composer, signs all his works "Blue Jay", is a prodigy that our world hasn't seen in nearly 200 years, playing Beethoven upside down and backwards due to boredom, five symphonies under his belt at 12 when previous genius required a lifetime to do so. Yet if he continues to see his gift as natural, free flowing, and not needing to revert to process, and tradition, his genius is already lost. He taught me something about myself and why I've lost what I have...
And talks of great importance and gravity help me realize why I feel disconnected at times, why I feel out of a loop I so admire and wish to be an integral part of, and above all made me realize I have the greatest friends a single person has ever known...
And now I sit combining my two loves, one reborn, the other just reaching puberty, writing about math as an art form, and pointing out that no one ever finds truth without it. As I told Eric, my lot in life is not to find God, nor Heaven, nor happiness per se, mine is a pursuit of truth, be it natural, metaphysical, emotional, personal, through love, through reason, through experience, or even through negation, I am a creature of process not of destinations...
And above all I admit that nothing lasts forever, the Buddhist mind states as much, although cycles exist, and I question if what I know to be true about people (general and specific people) and of love and of hate and of knowledge and of ignorance is applicable in the now, or must I wait for the next cycle to validate it all?
I'm waiting for it all to just fit, but then again that would end my process, and more importantly I'd have little reason to stay awake at all...