So this is what real psychic agony feels like
*looks at all her dark posts from the past few days/hours*
Yikes.
It all began on Monday night. I stayed up till past midnight (not unusual) to watch the news, eager to find out how to help out victims of the recent typhoon in Mindanao. I expected that, just like the time a major storm hit my city, that the government would start coordinating and mobilizing efforts for relief and rehabilitation. The news ended at nearly 1am. All I found out was:
-Most of the efforts present were from NGOs, schools, and religious groups...and that the government was still trying to get its act together
-Instead of having the dear President on top of the situation, he was trying to explain/justify his being at a party during the height of the storm. The man was planning to visit the disaster site four days after the tragedy...far too late for many people.
What gives? Do my countrymen and I really live in a system that can be so unfeeling? What can one do amid such rampant tragedy? I don't know what I can do or say since I'm so far way. But I only have to read one news story, see a photo of a parent cradling a drowned child, or hear about certain officials' finger-pointing and indifference, and again I want to cry knowing that what help I can do is only from afar. I have a degree in psychology but I cannot go and counsel someone. I'm training to be a doctor, but what can six months of training do to save a life? I really hope that when I go south next week that my friend Rocky can help me out with finding something to help with over there.
I don't even know if I can receive Christmas gifts with a smile this year. Maybe with gratitude to the giver, but not really with joy. I've been trying to figure out how to divide what resources I have between this calamity relief, things to do for Christmas, things to get for school, and upcoming plans. There isn't enough but the need is great.
So many people care but they don't know where to go or what to do. Those people who should know aren't doing what they should. It's ironic that DAYS before our president gave a feeble response to this situation, aid was pouring in from the private sector. Even Neil Gaiman gave a donation to help the flood victims. And the guy only has a literary interest here---but he still feels more for my people than our own leaders do!
I feel sick knowing that one day...maybe six, ten, or fifteen years from now, I will be that doctor in a calamity zone, trying to save lives when there are so few resources. I will be that person racing to bitch out local officials for withholding the ambulance or the water truck. I will be that policy maker going up against colleagues who insist on concentrating development within a few areas while neglecting the environment and the rural majority.
Is it ever going to change? I can only hope so one day. Maybe soon this psychic agony will ebb, but never the wanting to wake up to a better world.
Yikes.
It all began on Monday night. I stayed up till past midnight (not unusual) to watch the news, eager to find out how to help out victims of the recent typhoon in Mindanao. I expected that, just like the time a major storm hit my city, that the government would start coordinating and mobilizing efforts for relief and rehabilitation. The news ended at nearly 1am. All I found out was:
-Most of the efforts present were from NGOs, schools, and religious groups...and that the government was still trying to get its act together
-Instead of having the dear President on top of the situation, he was trying to explain/justify his being at a party during the height of the storm. The man was planning to visit the disaster site four days after the tragedy...far too late for many people.
What gives? Do my countrymen and I really live in a system that can be so unfeeling? What can one do amid such rampant tragedy? I don't know what I can do or say since I'm so far way. But I only have to read one news story, see a photo of a parent cradling a drowned child, or hear about certain officials' finger-pointing and indifference, and again I want to cry knowing that what help I can do is only from afar. I have a degree in psychology but I cannot go and counsel someone. I'm training to be a doctor, but what can six months of training do to save a life? I really hope that when I go south next week that my friend Rocky can help me out with finding something to help with over there.
I don't even know if I can receive Christmas gifts with a smile this year. Maybe with gratitude to the giver, but not really with joy. I've been trying to figure out how to divide what resources I have between this calamity relief, things to do for Christmas, things to get for school, and upcoming plans. There isn't enough but the need is great.
So many people care but they don't know where to go or what to do. Those people who should know aren't doing what they should. It's ironic that DAYS before our president gave a feeble response to this situation, aid was pouring in from the private sector. Even Neil Gaiman gave a donation to help the flood victims. And the guy only has a literary interest here---but he still feels more for my people than our own leaders do!
I feel sick knowing that one day...maybe six, ten, or fifteen years from now, I will be that doctor in a calamity zone, trying to save lives when there are so few resources. I will be that person racing to bitch out local officials for withholding the ambulance or the water truck. I will be that policy maker going up against colleagues who insist on concentrating development within a few areas while neglecting the environment and the rural majority.
Is it ever going to change? I can only hope so one day. Maybe soon this psychic agony will ebb, but never the wanting to wake up to a better world.