I don't know.
What is the meaning of this thing we call life? i dont know but i want to fucking die. i hate this life. I hate every thing in it. I know this sounds dumb but if I wasnt so scared to die I would take a gun to my head right now. i would every day. thats how much i hate to live. I see no point in it. its all a game. to see who can get hurt the most. yeah thats it. its just like a game. and why do we have to fall in love? it makes us so stupid. i jsut wish for once that someone would love me for who i am. and they wouldnt want to change anything about me. I've always been big. I cant help it. I just wish that someone could look past that and just hold on to me with out being disgusted. I dont know what to do. I feel lost. I feel like im screaming and no one can hear me. i just want to go and crawl in my bed and cry my self to sleep.