I left this comment at the 'thon but wanted to post it here too.
Wow, Mariks. This was brutal. I love the little girl footage intertwined here and your view of Kara's childhood. I love the teenage stuff too. So much violence! And it explains so much. All of that self-destructive behavior, the feeling she had of being a cancer, it all stems from here.
I immediately sat up and took notice as the vid unfolded (it's around 6:30am where I am and I am now fully awake). I was so concerned about her. Worried about that little girl. I'm still worried.
Excellent, excellent vid. Must have been hard to make. I'll watch it lots but it won't be easy. I am so glad that you made your take on the demons inside of Kara and were they began. And I could go on and on about this vid. I liked the use of hands here. Particularly the doctor bandaging that small hand. Great use of differing sources and well, your vids are always layered and emotional and just so very well done.
WOW! That was powerful. I wish I could be more creative in what I say but I'm a bit speechless. You've said and done more in this 3 min vid about Kara's childhood and her relationship with her mother then TPTB did in 4 years.
Fabulous job! The images of those other Kara look a like was at different phases in her life was excellent. The end with Cain was a nice suprise. Well done!
Thank you very much for your lovely comments! I did my best to show one of those many things that should've been acknowledged on Battlestar. Kara's story had an unbelievable potential...
It felt right to have that ending with vulnerability and disbelief at hearing the words of praise from Cain, and Kara shaking herself awake in fear, all sweaty and disoriented. Those feelings mingled with pain/terror/hatred/hope are a testament of her childhood after all, something she dragged along in her life as an adult too, even though she did her best to cover it, could even fool so many people with her "Don't mess with me, I'm unbreakable!" attitude.
Wow, that was amazing. Such powerful use of external footage. Often when I see external footage it seems random - unclear what's happening, but you blend it so well with the sports and the piano and the actresses that look right for the part - it's a fullblown and brutal narrative. I'm also really impressed by the way you carry your visual parallels - such as the reaching - the palms of hands - through all your sources, external and BSG - it makes it feel really cohesive.
Thanks for sharing this - definitely one I'll be downloading.
ETA: Just read your author's notes and want to agree about the very odd way that the ultimate treatment of Kara's destiny seemed like a justification for what happened to her. I have incredibly complex feelings about the episode Maelstrom mainly because I think it works perfectly as an exploration of Kara's state of mind before she committed suicide - fitting an impossible, childishly perfect reconciliation with her mother into the only space in her entire life it could still fit - the last few
( ... )
Oh my, this vid is amazing--really beautifully painful. I was actually flinching throughout much of it. I don't know where the external footage came from, but you wove it in so well that I all but forgot it wasn't part of Kara's canon.
*sobs and sobs and sobs* I know comments like that always sound like exaggeration. But ... if you were here you could touch my tears. I started crying ten seconds in and didn't stop and was left gasping at the end. The unexpected coda really worked for me emotionally because I kept thinking it was over and then there was more--and that's kind of fitting given that Kara's abuse cycles keep on coming. That look she gives Cain! And oh the way she shakes herself awake in horror! Waaahhhh
( ... )
*sobs and sobs and sobs* I know comments like that always sound like exaggeration.
Hmm. Not to me. And not from you.
But ... if you were here you could touch my tears. I started crying ten seconds in and didn't stop and was left gasping at the end.
I can touch your tears... I have no words. *hugs... and hugs and hugs some more* Can you imagine me vidding it? The last three weeks were a nightmare of a sort. I had to go through this story over and over again, and it didn't get any easier. Every second beat of this vid was like a scorching hook through my heart. I could say that's I'm sorry it made you feel this way, but I'm not: I think we need this for now.
The unexpected coda really worked for me emotionally because I kept thinking it was over and then there was more--and that's kind of fitting given that Kara's abuse cycles keep on coming. That look she gives Cain! And oh the way she shakes herself awake in horror! Waaahhhh!The "I don't know why, but I have a lot of faith in you" line and the ending with Cain were what I saw
( ... )
I'm not: I think we need this for now. WE DO. Badly. The show never showed the full horror inherent in this story properly, it treated it as a trivial sensationalist gimmick and they weren't true to the content of that story in that stupid 'reconciliation' in Maelstrom... well you know how I feel about it.
You know how it scares me that I might mess up... And I'm so excited for you and proud of you that you took this plunge with it! If I didn't know, I wouldn't see your anxiety in this vid because you handle it all so well--your perfectionism pays off!
I shudder to think what this must have taken for you to vid it though. Considering you wrote to me only a few days ago saying you felt unsure if you wanted to show it to anyone, you've managed to push through those emotions very fast!! In some ways maybe that's the only way to do it, push through the storm? Living with this for too long would be... ::shudders::
That little triumph shot is very much connected to that.The shot of the car pulling out of the driveway really gets to me
( ... )
I love your editing SO MUCH. It's so fluid and so intuitive and you built these little beats between beats of the music, and you integrate still moments so well.
Thank you! I'm a perfectionist, I do everything I can where vidding's concerned. Well, except for figuring out how to make the image quality better.
The last time I was this affected by anything was after reading the first book of Chaos Walking. Ironically I read it at the hairdressers too!
Oh, I've never read it. You think I should try? I usually cry in public transport at the most inconvenient of moments. That can get really embarrassing for me.
Thanks a lot for letting me know that you watched! I didn't realise I was holding my breath until I got your comment. *hugs*
Comments 31
Wow, Mariks. This was brutal. I love the little girl footage intertwined here and your view of Kara's childhood. I love the teenage stuff too. So much violence! And it explains so much. All of that self-destructive behavior, the feeling she had of being a cancer, it all stems from here.
I immediately sat up and took notice as the vid unfolded (it's around 6:30am where I am and I am now fully awake). I was so concerned about her. Worried about that little girl. I'm still worried.
Excellent, excellent vid. Must have been hard to make. I'll watch it lots but it won't be easy. I am so glad that you made your take on the demons inside of Kara and were they began. And I could go on and on about this vid. I liked the use of hands here. Particularly the doctor bandaging that small hand. Great use of differing sources and well, your vids are always layered and emotional and just so very well done.
Reply
Fabulous job! The images of those other Kara look a like was at different phases in her life was excellent. The end with Cain was a nice suprise. Well done!
Reply
It felt right to have that ending with vulnerability and disbelief at hearing the words of praise from Cain, and Kara shaking herself awake in fear, all sweaty and disoriented. Those feelings mingled with pain/terror/hatred/hope are a testament of her childhood after all, something she dragged along in her life as an adult too, even though she did her best to cover it, could even fool so many people with her "Don't mess with me, I'm unbreakable!" attitude.
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Thanks for sharing this - definitely one I'll be downloading.
ETA: Just read your author's notes and want to agree about the very odd way that the ultimate treatment of Kara's destiny seemed like a justification for what happened to her. I have incredibly complex feelings about the episode Maelstrom mainly because I think it works perfectly as an exploration of Kara's state of mind before she committed suicide - fitting an impossible, childishly perfect reconciliation with her mother into the only space in her entire life it could still fit - the last few ( ... )
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And I couldn't prevent the vid from getting painful to see and razor-edged by the end. Thanks a lot for watching nonetheless, and for your feedback!
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Hmm. Not to me. And not from you.
But ... if you were here you could touch my tears. I started crying ten seconds in and didn't stop and was left gasping at the end.
I can touch your tears... I have no words. *hugs... and hugs and hugs some more*
Can you imagine me vidding it? The last three weeks were a nightmare of a sort. I had to go through this story over and over again, and it didn't get any easier. Every second beat of this vid was like a scorching hook through my heart.
I could say that's I'm sorry it made you feel this way, but I'm not: I think we need this for now.
The unexpected coda really worked for me emotionally because I kept thinking it was over and then there was more--and that's kind of fitting given that Kara's abuse cycles keep on coming. That look she gives Cain! And oh the way she shakes herself awake in horror! Waaahhhh!The "I don't know why, but I have a lot of faith in you" line and the ending with Cain were what I saw ( ... )
Reply
WE DO. Badly. The show never showed the full horror inherent in this story properly, it treated it as a trivial sensationalist gimmick and they weren't true to the content of that story in that stupid 'reconciliation' in Maelstrom... well you know how I feel about it.
You know how it scares me that I might mess up...
And I'm so excited for you and proud of you that you took this plunge with it! If I didn't know, I wouldn't see your anxiety in this vid because you handle it all so well--your perfectionism pays off!
I shudder to think what this must have taken for you to vid it though. Considering you wrote to me only a few days ago saying you felt unsure if you wanted to show it to anyone, you've managed to push through those emotions very fast!! In some ways maybe that's the only way to do it, push through the storm? Living with this for too long would be... ::shudders::
That little triumph shot is very much connected to that.The shot of the car pulling out of the driveway really gets to me ( ... )
Reply
Thank you! I'm a perfectionist, I do everything I can where vidding's concerned. Well, except for figuring out how to make the image quality better.
The last time I was this affected by anything was after reading the first book of Chaos Walking. Ironically I read it at the hairdressers too!
Oh, I've never read it. You think I should try?
I usually cry in public transport at the most inconvenient of moments. That can get really embarrassing for me.
Thanks a lot for letting me know that you watched! I didn't realise I was holding my breath until I got your comment. *hugs*
Reply
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