~Touch Me ~ Unlove you fic #15 and #11

[m8ilm]

To make up for the hideous post with the table, here is the second fic of that universe. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be allowed to do that if I posted it in a comunity, but since I don't... *shrugs* Anyway, I couldn't bring myself to choose between the two prompts that inspired this story, so, as long as I don't come up with a new plot idea for

Comments

[bookstorequeer]

*waves* Hi. I'm here on a rec and I just have to say... wow. Holy cow. Wow. That's brilliant.

I'm really starting to get into these sorts of emotional, character study bits, so I'm in the 'right' sort of mode to appreciate this. It's fascinating. It's interesting how much you don't even know, come to the end of it. You feel like there's been this big revelation and, in a way, there has been. But at the same time, there's still so much undiscovered and that makes it more fascinating that I would have imagined.

You're very good! I like how it all fits together. I'd recommend, if you don't mind, just re-reading a couple times [I always end up frantically re-reading until I'm sick of it!] just to make sure that you don't have any words missing or any extra bits from sentences that you rewrote. :) Nicely done.

[m8ilm]

*blink* I've been rec'd??!.... O_o This is just too good! *faints

[bookstorequeer]

Oh honey, you mistook me - the things you leave out are GOOD. If you have to lay out the story completely and lead the reader by the hand then they shouldn't be reading your story in the first place. It's important to write how you want to and to form it as it is in your own head. It's wonderful, how it is.

I just meant: You don't tell us the sex of the narrator or where it's taking place or a million other things. But that doesn't take away from the moment, the split instant that we do get to see. I think that's the mark of a solid piece, that it doesn't need those extra bits, it can stand on its own. :)

Sometimes it's difficult to tell the difference between what you know and what the reader knows. I find myself doing tons of research, at times, and it never even comes across in the story itself. I just like to know. ;) So long as we can tell a bit about who the characters are and why they are, we can work on figuring out the rest ourselves. We shouldn't have to be spoonfed the story

[m8ilm]

See, that's the way to make a previously very good comment into an awesome one *grins hugely*

And what I meant about too much info is that sometimes I lose perspective, because I've got it all figured out in my head and I forget that people who will read me don't know that, and maybe they should to understand what I really mean. I try to be careful though :)

And yep, the rec is as good as expected, totally worth it! (let's try not to forget this is actually the second fic I post on LJ, ever. People reading it is in itself good enough for me!) *g*

[bookstorequeer]

I try to be careful though
-- You've done awesome so far. Just keep it up. ;) It's easy to forget other people aren't inside your head - I get a little confused with all the voices sometimes... *snerk*

this is actually the second fic I post on LJ, ever
-- shanmara's good like that. She told me to wander over here, so blame her for my intensive babbling in that other comment (and anything else I can get away with).

[m8ilm]

Well, obviously, shanmara deserves home-made cookies. *wanders off to bake her some*

Thanks again for the lovely and helpful comments!

[bookstorequeer]

You're most welcome, dahlink. It was fun. I'm around and I like to babble (apparently), if you ever feel like chatting further. :)