Comments | m4moony: An Unforgivable Request

m4moony

An Unforgivable Request

Feb 18, 2006 22:12

Date: January 19 & 25, 2000
Time: Just after sunset each day
Character(s) Involved: Remus & Harry
Rating: PG for weighty emotional content and potential strong language and/or some violence

( Day was almost done by the time he arrived in London... )

notes: backstory, 2000: 01-january

Comments 45

broken_harry February 19 2006, 07:03:01 UTC

Harry had been waiting.

Waiting for this day. Waiting to ask these words. Waiting to see how Remus would respond. And now he waited for Remus to arrive.

Knowing the man would come in the back entrance, he always did, Harry took to sitting on a kitchen counter perpendicular to the back kitchen entrance. From there he'd see Remus enter before Remus could see him. By no means did Harry feel threatened by Remus' company, quite the opposite actually, but Harry had become overly cautious in recent years. His back was never exposed or unprotected if he could help it.

"I'm here." Sliding off the counter, he waited until Remus had said his name before making his presence known.

He may be yelling it after I say what I have to say."It's good to see you, Remus. Thanks for coming." Formality aside, he reached to embrace the other man in a warm hug. Besides Ron and Hermione, Remus was as close to family as Harry had. To ask what he was about to ask of the man may just risk that realationship, but Harry had no choice. There were few he would ( ... )

m4moony February 19 2006, 07:28:17 UTC

There were times when it still surprised Remus to see this serious young man where there once was an innocent young boy. The Harry who greeted him here was a much more somber Harry than the one who had whispered secrets to his friends on the Hogwarts Express years ago ( ... )

broken_harry February 19 2006, 07:52:22 UTC

Harry let out a small laugh, both at how well Remus knew him and at the thought of Remus having 'old' bones. To Harry, the man would always be timeless - much like his parents and Sirius. Maybe it was Harry's reluctance to think of the man as anything less than a survivor, the final link to a life Harry might have had if only. Or perhaps it was simply because the image Harry held of Remus now was the one he imagined having for the rest of his life. His very short life.

"To the study then, Old Man." Harry gestured towards the door to the rest of the house. "Can you make it on your own or should I fetch a cane for you?"

m4moony February 20 2006, 05:58:28 UTC

"I've a few years yet before I am incapable of scaling a handful of stairs," Remus chuckled, reaching out to ruffle his young friend's already unruly hair affectionately ( ... )

Thread 24

broken_harry February 27 2006, 11:38:03 UTC

Slowly, as slowly as Harry's ill-fated confidence in his own logic faded, he rounded the chair and sat down again. His stare fell from Remus to his two open palms resting on his own knees in front of him, watching the fine tremor coursing through to his fingertips.

Harry had heard Remus' words, but the louder, overpowering sound had been of his own logic shattering. It all made sense, on a completely factual level. But Harry wasn't dealing very well with facts at the moment, not in this situation.

Eyes glued to his still trembling hands, Harry spoke in an almost inaudible whisper. Whether he was talking to Remus, to the hands that might actually have to do this thing, or to the fates that brought him to this day - it was't clear.

"There has to be another way."

Trembling fingers clenched to form fists, fists that slammed into Harry's own knees with a sudden visitation from emotions he had been forcing back for nearly three years now. Rational and acceptance flew right out the window, replaced by the old familiar It's not fair! ( ... )

m4moony February 27 2006, 16:31:32 UTC

"There isn't any other way," he said quietly ( ... )

broken_harry February 28 2006, 02:36:06 UTC

He couldn't look at him. Not like this, not when he was supposed to be strong and better than the tears that burned at the corners of his eyes. Not after yelling at the man and having him be so kind in return.

Not when he knew Remus was right and what that meant.

Harry's eyes slid closed when Remus declared him a son for all of us. Those words hurt as much as they brought joy to the now broken boy forced into being a man before his time. The truth behind them wasn't questioned, not from Remus. Harry felt as close to what a son should feel for a father, or what he believed that to be based on what little experience he had, for the man now on his knees before him. There had been others, Sirius and Dumbledore, that Harry had been as close to - but they were gone. Remus was the one who had seen him through the past nearly three years and he was the last. The last person Harry had to go to, to lean on, to show any kind of weakness to. And now - what had to happen - may just destroy that. Something Harry had asked of him, and now couldn' ( ... )

m4moony February 28 2006, 20:55:04 UTC

Remus Lupin was not destined for a wife and children. That future had been taken from him nearly thirty-six years ago with a flash of fangs and the rending of flesh. It was a loss he had come to accept early in his own life. If the pangs of loneliness which crept up on him in the dead of night seemed to do so more and more often as the years progressed, that was to be expected and survived ( ... )

Thread 7

m4moony March 3 2006, 01:55:42 UTC

Once again it was dusk as Remus Lupin made his way to Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. He had arrived promptly at dusk every day since Harry had requested his help. Every day but the day of the Full Moon, that is. Luckily, it had been a sufficient amount of time since that he had mostly recovered his physical strength ( ... )

broken_harry March 3 2006, 04:49:00 UTC

The last week had been the hardest of Harry's life. Not so much physically, but emotionally and mentally. Learning the Imperius had been taxing and difficult to say the least, but being successful in controlling Remus' mind and bending him to Harry's will was far more draining. The idea of having such an ability was in and of itself disturbing - to use it on someone you loved and respected, watching the fight in his face and seeing it break under Harry's will was heartwrenching and torturous.

And nothing compared to what they were about to attempt.

Harry had been listening for the back door, for Remus to call his name as he always did. He wasn't surprised when the sound of the back door opening reached his ears, but Remus' voice did not. They both could use a moment to themselves before the evening's lesson was to begin ( ... )

m4moony March 3 2006, 19:17:40 UTC

At the sound of the door opening, Remus looked up from the pile of old matresses and pillows he'd chosen to settle into and bit back a sigh when Harry's eyes slid away from him again. It was tearing him apart to do this. He'd raged at the world upon returning to the camp after each of their previous lessons until Glamis had come into the tent and told him to stop acting like a twelve year old screaming 'it's not fair'. The older werewolf had no idea what had the pack alpha so upset and Remus didn't want to tell him, so he's calmed down...at least outwardly ( ... )

broken_harry March 3 2006, 22:29:02 UTC

Somewhere deep down, Harry knew this was coming. This conversation. Yes, the decision to start on this training had been discussed, but that was logistics compared to the words that hung in the air between them, unspoken, since that day. That was before words turned into deeds and nightmarish ideas became reality.

Harry crossed the room and sat down where Remus had indicated. He hunched over, elbows resting on his knees as his head hung low over his trainers. It seemed he hadn't been able to stand upright for the past week, a premanent slouch to his stance as if the weight on his shoulders had increased exponentially in that short amount of time. He hadn't slept but a few moments when his body insisted. With sleep came visions of the face he couldn't now seem to meet, in pain...a pain he knew would eventually come from his wand. Tonight.

Harry was spent. Mentally, it was already a struggle to keep his thoughts constantly shielded with Occlumency. It was difficult to pinpoint, even more difficult to describe, but Harry knew ( ... )

Thread 13

broken_harry September 10 2006, 23:55:31 UTC

The spell hit its target and for that brief instant Harry was relieved. Relief that one out of two was done. Relief that he'd managed what he was almost sure he'd never be able to do. Relief that he had it in him. His hand tightened on that small, branch-thin piece of wood in his palm in that relief. In accomplishment and in that hidden swell of pride - even in this.

'The wand chooses the wizard, Mr. Potter. It's not always clear why. But I think it is clear that we can expect great things from you. After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things. Terrible! Yes. But great.'

Why it was that Ollivander's voice was now echoing through his mind, Harry didn't know...but the words...the promise...the expectation. It felt filled in some small way. Some pull that Harry could feel and felt drawn to in that stretch of light branching from wand tip to the chest of his...

"REMUS!" Whether it was the scream wrenched from the body now under a pain he caused or the realization of who that body was that forced Harry's wand away to sever the ( ... )