(no subject)
A dream discussion....
"What have you been doing with your life?"
'Waiting.'
"What have you been waiting for?"
'Fufilled dreams.'
"Have your dreams come true yet?"
'No; now they stand no chance.'
"Do you give up so easily this time around?"
'It was not easy; it had to be done.'
"Have you lived?"
'Not yet.'
"Do you want to?"
'Not any more.'
"Do you love?"
'Infinitely.'
"Have you lost?"
'The entire war.'
"Does it hurt?"
'Losing; no. What I lost; urgently.'
"Do you heal?"
'One cannot heal that which will not scab over'
"Do you love?"
'Interminably.'
"Do you fight?"
'No more.'
"Do you win?"
'How can you win something that gave itself away; stole itself from you, and walked away to another? Nay. I win nothing but my everlasting solitude.'
"Do you grieve?"
'Aye. On this one; forevermore.'
"Do you think it shall last forever; the love, the hurt, the grief?"
'I do not think; I know.
The love has always been, and ever more shall be;
The hurt began anew; once forgotten came back to me;
The grief was always there; for the parting was always know;
Just never was the time, the manner to me shown.'
"Do you question?"
'Everything.'
"Do the answers give themselves up?"
'Nor do they give themselves up, or given to me are they; but kept inside a shameless heart that only could betray me.'
"Do they really matter so much?"
*whispered* 'Yes. They are my one true chance.. for salvation.'
"Do you give up so easily, then, this time around?"
*still whispering* 'On this I have a choice; but I choose to hurt myself. I cannot fight again for that which prefers to be battled over, again and again - but refuses to be won by one. I have chosen - to hurt because I never had the choice to love.'
"Then you love more than you hurt?"
'Nay - I would say they are equal; but in such contrast I never knew! but worth it, I think - perhaps not in this nor the next; and definitely none before this - I can show I am not cold nor callous; but too loving for my own good.'
"Do the bruises hurt?"
'Aye. But not as much as the broken bones.'
"Are they not worth your love?"
'My love, aye. But not worth the innocence beneath.'
"So you also have limits?"
'Aye, I have limits.' *sighs* 'They have been reached, sister.'
"Then the war is not over."
*sighs again* 'The war will never be over. But this battle - was never even given a fair chance to be begun.'
"So you choose to leave this battlefield, and never return?"
'Aye. I made a promise, long ago, to someone I once held dear; that if certain occurrences were to happen; I would no more draw near. Not all have happened; each single one; and patience has but fled; the knife is pulled from my bleeding back; the heart inside near dead - the crows cackle their last mournful song; I'll pack up my soul and depart; but not before one last good cry; the last vestige of the broken heart. To leave the place the battles raged; to forget, if one can, of fate; to cease the memories flowing during day; and cry throughout the night; to pretend all is well to the outside world, and shrivel portions more inside; to forget the decision, once more broken heart - and forget the day I died.'
"So you have died?"
'Not completely.'
"Close enough, do you think, for what's at hand?"
'Nay. Nowhere near.'
"Are you strong enough to face tomorrow?"
'I think we shall see, once I have tried.'
"Did you give it your all; til your head bleed freely; did you give it every drop! Did you cry until the tears stopped flowing, until your heart did start to stop? Did you try to explain, in every way, how it could not be explained? Did you stop your tongue, from uttering words, you knew would sound in vain? Did you always try to say your mind; to say what's in your heart? Do these things, just one last time.. and then, we will depart."
'I cannot go, for one last try.. I know it matters not. But try I must, despite the hurt; despite the raging knots. Forget the past; forget the hope - they all were spent in vain; try to forget the love in your heart... don't hold onto your pain. What pain is there for one who holds no love for you in his heart; what hurt is there if you go; will it tear, if you part? Will anything be felt if I turn and go; beside the anger and rage? Or will you someday see you, not I - had the other in a cage? What of the bruises, the cuts, the bones; what of the broken home? What of the child that may not be, the hurting in its tomb? Does it matter, to anyone but me, the beating in my chest? I think it never mattered; just to me.. and never to the rest. I failed to put myself up first; and thusly failed the test; then failed to lie, and cheat and steal; and lost the second burst. I did not deceive; did not betray; instead got hurt so deep; if this is love, if this is marriage - I shall not have it... But my soul you'll always keep.
I love you never meant as much as the beating in my heart.
But one last time, before I go.. I love you with everything I had, and never did.
And now, it's time to part.'
"You did well, this once, for me; you did what needs to be done. Just turn and walk, and don't look back; say no more; don't try to talk. Breathe around the tears inside; ignore the burning throat - remember each song written; hear each sorrowful note. That never is a song complete; it's always just begun. That never can a true love last; when the love comes just from one."
“What have you been doing with your life?”
’Waiting.. for that which will never be. Living for a lie; waiting for nothing.’
"What have you been doing with your life?"
'Waiting.'
"What have you been waiting for?"
'Fufilled dreams.'
"Have your dreams come true yet?"
'No; now they stand no chance.'
"Do you give up so easily this time around?"
'It was not easy; it had to be done.'
"Have you lived?"
'Not yet.'
"Do you want to?"
'Not any more.'
"Do you love?"
'Infinitely.'
"Have you lost?"
'The entire war.'
"Does it hurt?"
'Losing; no. What I lost; urgently.'
"Do you heal?"
'One cannot heal that which will not scab over'
"Do you love?"
'Interminably.'
"Do you fight?"
'No more.'
"Do you win?"
'How can you win something that gave itself away; stole itself from you, and walked away to another? Nay. I win nothing but my everlasting solitude.'
"Do you grieve?"
'Aye. On this one; forevermore.'
"Do you think it shall last forever; the love, the hurt, the grief?"
'I do not think; I know.
The love has always been, and ever more shall be;
The hurt began anew; once forgotten came back to me;
The grief was always there; for the parting was always know;
Just never was the time, the manner to me shown.'
"Do you question?"
'Everything.'
"Do the answers give themselves up?"
'Nor do they give themselves up, or given to me are they; but kept inside a shameless heart that only could betray me.'
"Do they really matter so much?"
*whispered* 'Yes. They are my one true chance.. for salvation.'
"Do you give up so easily, then, this time around?"
*still whispering* 'On this I have a choice; but I choose to hurt myself. I cannot fight again for that which prefers to be battled over, again and again - but refuses to be won by one. I have chosen - to hurt because I never had the choice to love.'
"Then you love more than you hurt?"
'Nay - I would say they are equal; but in such contrast I never knew! but worth it, I think - perhaps not in this nor the next; and definitely none before this - I can show I am not cold nor callous; but too loving for my own good.'
"Do the bruises hurt?"
'Aye. But not as much as the broken bones.'
"Are they not worth your love?"
'My love, aye. But not worth the innocence beneath.'
"So you also have limits?"
'Aye, I have limits.' *sighs* 'They have been reached, sister.'
"Then the war is not over."
*sighs again* 'The war will never be over. But this battle - was never even given a fair chance to be begun.'
"So you choose to leave this battlefield, and never return?"
'Aye. I made a promise, long ago, to someone I once held dear; that if certain occurrences were to happen; I would no more draw near. Not all have happened; each single one; and patience has but fled; the knife is pulled from my bleeding back; the heart inside near dead - the crows cackle their last mournful song; I'll pack up my soul and depart; but not before one last good cry; the last vestige of the broken heart. To leave the place the battles raged; to forget, if one can, of fate; to cease the memories flowing during day; and cry throughout the night; to pretend all is well to the outside world, and shrivel portions more inside; to forget the decision, once more broken heart - and forget the day I died.'
"So you have died?"
'Not completely.'
"Close enough, do you think, for what's at hand?"
'Nay. Nowhere near.'
"Are you strong enough to face tomorrow?"
'I think we shall see, once I have tried.'
"Did you give it your all; til your head bleed freely; did you give it every drop! Did you cry until the tears stopped flowing, until your heart did start to stop? Did you try to explain, in every way, how it could not be explained? Did you stop your tongue, from uttering words, you knew would sound in vain? Did you always try to say your mind; to say what's in your heart? Do these things, just one last time.. and then, we will depart."
'I cannot go, for one last try.. I know it matters not. But try I must, despite the hurt; despite the raging knots. Forget the past; forget the hope - they all were spent in vain; try to forget the love in your heart... don't hold onto your pain. What pain is there for one who holds no love for you in his heart; what hurt is there if you go; will it tear, if you part? Will anything be felt if I turn and go; beside the anger and rage? Or will you someday see you, not I - had the other in a cage? What of the bruises, the cuts, the bones; what of the broken home? What of the child that may not be, the hurting in its tomb? Does it matter, to anyone but me, the beating in my chest? I think it never mattered; just to me.. and never to the rest. I failed to put myself up first; and thusly failed the test; then failed to lie, and cheat and steal; and lost the second burst. I did not deceive; did not betray; instead got hurt so deep; if this is love, if this is marriage - I shall not have it... But my soul you'll always keep.
I love you never meant as much as the beating in my heart.
But one last time, before I go.. I love you with everything I had, and never did.
And now, it's time to part.'
"You did well, this once, for me; you did what needs to be done. Just turn and walk, and don't look back; say no more; don't try to talk. Breathe around the tears inside; ignore the burning throat - remember each song written; hear each sorrowful note. That never is a song complete; it's always just begun. That never can a true love last; when the love comes just from one."
“What have you been doing with your life?”
’Waiting.. for that which will never be. Living for a lie; waiting for nothing.’