I woke up crying today...

[m3lissa320]

A dream has never made me feel this upset, let alone made me wake up crying, since I was like 7. We were about to get married, planning the wedding and everything was perfect. It was all like a week away... and then he told me. He cheated on me... with her... like 3 times. He had been lying about it all along but he just couldn't go through with the wedding keeping a secret like that. I started to ask him all about it... where, when, why, what happened... all the details that you don't want to know, but have to or else you'll wonder about them until forever. As he started to explain how they had had sex in his car, I started feeling like I was going to throw up and I couldn't listen to anymore... that's when I woke up and realized I was crying.
I know it's just a dream but it felt so real and it hurt so bad.
I know he didn't. He wouldn't lie to me. He wouldn't hurt me like that.
So why can't I stop thinking about her. Why can't she just get out of my mind. Why am I so scared to death of being hurt. They all seem like obvious questions that no one would blame me for... and I guess in truth I do know the answers... but I just want it all to go away.