He fixed you up real good, til I don't know you anymore.
It was September 1999 or 1998 when I started to do well in School. For some reason I'm struggling to remember which, I was 13..I think. Either way, there was the three months of September, October and November where for some unexaplainable reason (unexplainable to my parents or teachers) that I suddenly started getting full marks on pretty much everything. Even Maths and Science (if you know me, this is some feat) I had barely managed to scrape between 30-40% in those yearly tests and whatnot. There was a parents evening at some point during the three months and I remember all the teachers complimenting me on what seemed like an academic breakthrough. My parents were pretty much elated, knowing that in the past I'd just never really tried when confronted with something I found challenging or had convinced myself I simply couldn't do. The two things which spring to mind are maths and playing the recorder. I'm not stupid, or at least I think i've proven that I am capable of most things when I set my mind to them. Maths was just something I had deicded from a very young age I would never be good at and therefore switched off, half learned things and never took it all in. Same with the recorder. I decided that I couldn't read music (I proved that wrong a couple years later with the guitar, but hell I was sure I couldn't at the time). I think I managed half a year or so of miming playing the recorder along with everyone else, which was fine until the teacher started requesting solo sections to be played by random members of the class. Oh the shame and the humiliation, I digress.
**break, I can hear the crowd at the Reebock stadium chanting something, I haven't missed that element of being home**
So. This is the way that I dealt with certain things I found difficult, I convinved myself I simply did not posess the skill for that particular area or whatever. I blame the extremely sporty and competetive nature of my childhood. - Note, I am neither sporty nor competetive, I loathe competition and my parents Mum pushed me into it with tennis and badminton and swimming and dancing and fucking everything. *shudder* My brother loved that sort of thing. I remember us all playing out at the top of the street doing mini-races and freethemall and who can throw the rock the furthest and all that type of shit and I hated anything that was even slightly a competition. I was terrified of failing and of being worse than everyone else, so I just didn't try.
Well this has all got slightly depressing.
I am aware that I am once again blaming past events for how I grew up, but stick with me, I think it makes sense.
The point I just reached up there has nothing to do with the point I had when I started this entry, funny that.
Gah, now i'm distracted by good news. Nothing spoils a good splurge like a friendly invitation out for drinks.
More later..
**break, I can hear the crowd at the Reebock stadium chanting something, I haven't missed that element of being home**
So. This is the way that I dealt with certain things I found difficult, I convinved myself I simply did not posess the skill for that particular area or whatever. I blame the extremely sporty and competetive nature of my childhood. - Note, I am neither sporty nor competetive, I loathe competition and my parents Mum pushed me into it with tennis and badminton and swimming and dancing and fucking everything. *shudder* My brother loved that sort of thing. I remember us all playing out at the top of the street doing mini-races and freethemall and who can throw the rock the furthest and all that type of shit and I hated anything that was even slightly a competition. I was terrified of failing and of being worse than everyone else, so I just didn't try.
Well this has all got slightly depressing.
I am aware that I am once again blaming past events for how I grew up, but stick with me, I think it makes sense.
The point I just reached up there has nothing to do with the point I had when I started this entry, funny that.
Gah, now i'm distracted by good news. Nothing spoils a good splurge like a friendly invitation out for drinks.
More later..