I'm so sorry Jacquee is going through all of this, but as someone who has been there, I'm also really happy for her that she's still pregnant.
My aunt had so many complications in her first pregnancy that they told her she needed a DNC--the baby was dead, she was toxic and she had a raging fever most of the time. She was (and is) highly religious, and she refused. My cousin was born with problems, but he was indeed alive, and he is a healthy adult now. That's like 7 out of 9 months that they were wrong and were telling her, basically, to kill her baby. It turned out, years later when she had her hysterectomy, that her uterus was malformed and the doctors couldn't possibly have known that. Based on what they knew, the baby had to be dead, but once they had all the facts, it made sense.
Simultaneously, I've known people who still "felt pregnant" because they couldn't wrap their minds around the sad news.
Yet another story involved a very similar situation, and when she delivered her daughter, they were able to determine that she had originally been pregnant with twins, and had miscarried one of them, so she never knew the other baby briefly existed. The doctors were right--she had a miscarriage. But she was also still pregnant.
The people who feel pregnant for emotional reasons usually come to terms with it in a few days. If after a few days, you still feel pregnant, trust your instincts. Too many things can go wrong in the childbirth process for a doctor to be right all the time. Really, after knowing all the bad things that can happen, we should celebrate our medical profession for all the times that things don't go wrong. I think we in the US get used to healthy births and start to think of them as normal when historically a healthy pregnancy and birth were a reason to throw a party.
Please give all my love to Jacquee when you speak to her. With any luck, she will have no more problems. In any case, she is welcome to call me if she ever wants to chat pregnancy drama. Or if she just wants to chat. I know we only met for the Vegas trip and the wedding, but she was, and still is, very cool people, and I would love to speak with her again.
My aunt had so many complications in her first pregnancy that they told her she needed a DNC--the baby was dead, she was toxic and she had a raging fever most of the time. She was (and is) highly religious, and she refused. My cousin was born with problems, but he was indeed alive, and he is a healthy adult now. That's like 7 out of 9 months that they were wrong and were telling her, basically, to kill her baby. It turned out, years later when she had her hysterectomy, that her uterus was malformed and the doctors couldn't possibly have known that. Based on what they knew, the baby had to be dead, but once they had all the facts, it made sense.
Simultaneously, I've known people who still "felt pregnant" because they couldn't wrap their minds around the sad news.
Yet another story involved a very similar situation, and when she delivered her daughter, they were able to determine that she had originally been pregnant with twins, and had miscarried one of them, so she never knew the other baby briefly existed. The doctors were right--she had a miscarriage. But she was also still pregnant.
The people who feel pregnant for emotional reasons usually come to terms with it in a few days. If after a few days, you still feel pregnant, trust your instincts. Too many things can go wrong in the childbirth process for a doctor to be right all the time. Really, after knowing all the bad things that can happen, we should celebrate our medical profession for all the times that things don't go wrong. I think we in the US get used to healthy births and start to think of them as normal when historically a healthy pregnancy and birth were a reason to throw a party.
Please give all my love to Jacquee when you speak to her. With any luck, she will have no more problems. In any case, she is welcome to call me if she ever wants to chat pregnancy drama. Or if she just wants to chat. I know we only met for the Vegas trip and the wedding, but she was, and still is, very cool people, and I would love to speak with her again.
Happy vibes and good ju ju :-)
Reply
Leave a comment