pausing to reflect:
i have been with colleen for six months today. in some ways it feels like it has been so much longer than that, but in others it feels like the shortest six months of my life. Mostly it feels like an eternity though. Its hard to think about my life before I came into this...sunny little world of...complete bliss. Who was I before I was her girlfriend? I don't remember very well. I tried to remember yesterday. We had a long, serious talk online, about my past and the issues that I am still struggling with. I realized that I like the person I have become with her so, so much more than the person I was a year ago. I am stronger, happier, and more independent, despite what looks like a very co-dependent relationship. It is just a different kind of dependency, i suppose. a healthy kind.
and yet...for something that seems like it has been a part of my life forever, i am still surprised by our relationship every day. almost every day I feel like I fall more in love with her. and if this is how i feel four thousand miles away from her, i can only imagine how in love with her i'll feel when i'm with her every single day when i get back. just the thought of this provides me with so much hope. its almost enough to make it not hurt to be here some of the time. *sigh* almost...
right now i've reached a point where i find myself thinking that nothing else matters. yes, studying abroad in rome is an amazing experience, but next to being with colleen... it really does not seem so important. yes, seeing some of my family and friends at thanksgiving is a nice thing to look forward to, but compared with the thought of thanksgiving with colleen... it doesn't really seem as exciting. i find myself just counting down the days. there are 62 until I go home, and 64 until I see her. right now, though...that seems like foreverrrr.
*sigh*
so i guess i feel kind of mixed right now. i feel really great about colleen, and about where we are with our relationship, but not so great about where we are physically. i guess that is to be expected, though.
i think that is all i have to say right now.
happy six month-iversary to me (and to you, colleenie)
the end.
and yet...for something that seems like it has been a part of my life forever, i am still surprised by our relationship every day. almost every day I feel like I fall more in love with her. and if this is how i feel four thousand miles away from her, i can only imagine how in love with her i'll feel when i'm with her every single day when i get back. just the thought of this provides me with so much hope. its almost enough to make it not hurt to be here some of the time. *sigh* almost...
right now i've reached a point where i find myself thinking that nothing else matters. yes, studying abroad in rome is an amazing experience, but next to being with colleen... it really does not seem so important. yes, seeing some of my family and friends at thanksgiving is a nice thing to look forward to, but compared with the thought of thanksgiving with colleen... it doesn't really seem as exciting. i find myself just counting down the days. there are 62 until I go home, and 64 until I see her. right now, though...that seems like foreverrrr.
*sigh*
so i guess i feel kind of mixed right now. i feel really great about colleen, and about where we are with our relationship, but not so great about where we are physically. i guess that is to be expected, though.
i think that is all i have to say right now.
happy six month-iversary to me (and to you, colleenie)
the end.